Saratoga, April 16, 2064

"Lady-Doc, open up," someone knocking on her hatch pulled Jenny back from notes on early work in DNA restructuring in the in-vitro program.

"Paul? Vanessa?" Jenny opened her door to find Wang and Damphousse grinning at her. "What can I do for you?"

"Ma'am we're here to save you," he laughed.

"Pardon me?" Jenny's mind was still on her research.

"We thought maybe Chig spies were holding you captive in here," Vanessa's eyes sparkled as she teased. "That's why we haven't seen you for four days."

"Come to the Tun with us?" Paul invited, "we're celebrating Shane's promotion. We'd like you to come out of hiding."

"I'm not hiding," Jen protested. "How do you know that I'm not just 'otherwise occupied'?" Jenny rolled her eyes, seductively.

"On this ship, we would have heard about it," Wang teased.

"Front and center, Lieutenant Commander!" Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest, her legs splayed in an unconscious imitation of McQueen, causing Jenny to giggle.

"Okay, okay, you win," Jen looked down at the jeans and sweater she was wearing.

"You look fine, but shoes would be good," Vanessa prodded as she looked at Jenny's bare feet.

"I don't know about that," Paul smirked. "I kind of think the red toe-nail polish would be a hit in the Tun. How come you and Shane don't wear things like that."

"Be real Paul," Vanessa bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Toe nail polish and combat boots. Can you imagine what the Colonel would say?" Both she and Shane had been careful to keep their feet covered when around the guys, not wanting to be teased.

"What would the Colonel say, about what?" McQueen moved to Jenny's door on his way to the Tun. Jen had just turned off her computer and was slipping into very unmilitary-like shoes, made of a soft brown leather.

"Ahhh, nothing Sir," 'Phousse back-peddled.

"I thought maybe you were talking about 'plumbers' again," McQueen met Paul's direct glance. The Colonel's mouth twitched as Paul shifted in discomfort. The young Marine doubted he would ever live down his imitation of McQueen the night before Kazbek.

"What's this about plumbers?" Jenny joined in the teasing.

"Have Paul tell you sometime," McQueen was sure she had already been let in on the joke, but he planned to give Paul a hard time about it for as long as he could, so he could hardly appear to approve.

Things had gone back to normal after the mail from home. Vanessa was adjusting to life without Sam and appeared to be happy. Jenny didn't know what Shane had written to her sister about using their mom's name for her baby, but the new Captain was content. Jenny had cried when Nathan showed her the beautiful letter he had written his parents about Neil's death. The West family was lucky to be so close, even in times of tragedy. McQueen and Hawkes had sat grim faced through the viewing of the documentary on In-Vitros In The Military. As Jenny had thought, McQueen's interview hadn't been used. She wasn't sure how he felt about it, and he wasn't talking about it.

---

Saratoga Sickbay, April 20, 2064

Two days after Shane's party, the 58th was sent on a recon mission to a small planet. Wounded were pouring in from all over the sector, so Jenny was almost too busy to worry.

"Jenny," Win Trosper moved behind her in the OR. "Commander Brill wanted me to tell you that the 58th is on their way in. Wheels down in about 55 mikes."

"Any news?" The doctor concentrated on suturing the lacerated arm of the young Marine on her table.

"They say one shrapnel wound, Ma'am," he grinned as he watched her shoulders relax at the news. "Nothing serious."

"Did they say who?" Jen was relieved. They had been gone for almost two days and this time McQueen had gone with them.

"No, Ma'am. You want me to close for you?" Trosper offered as he pointed toward the wound the Doctor was working on.

"I'm almost done here," she smiled at the young Sargent. "Thanks for the offer. Tell Joan I said thank you, for the heads-up."

An hour later Jenny treated Shane's right leg for a gash caused by flying debris. "Sorry Shane, but I'm keeping you for the night," Jenny smiled at the Marine. "Since they saw fit to drag you around in a tank, for a day and a half, with that leg injury, I want you on intravenous antibiotics just to be on the safe side."

---

Saratoga April 21, 2064 -0100

Paul Wang was beginning to know the night sounds of the Saratoga almost as well as he did the day sounds. Ever since Kazbek, he had been plagued with insomnia. Tonight, he found himself in the darkened mess hall.

Getting coffee from the small lighted area at one end of the mess, he moved to below the windows, where he could watch the stars. He didn't hear the quiet footsteps of his commanding officer, until McQueen was pulling out a chair at his table.

"It helps to look out there doesn't it?" McQueen gestured with his coffee mug. "It makes everything clear and clean."

"Sir," Paul didn't know where to start. "Sir, I want a transfer, to someplace where I won't put anyone in danger, ever again."

"You'd have to be dead for that," McQueen sipped his coffee. "In life there are no guarantees, only choices."

"Yeah," Paul sneered. He couldn't get it out of his mind that he had been so desperate to get back the recording of his confession on Kazbek that he had been willing to strike a deal with an AI. "And I seem to make the wrong ones. I could've gotten you all killed!"

"This mission isn't the problem," McQueen looked into his cup, glad for the cover of the dark corner of the mess hall. "You're still having problems dealing with what happened to you on Kazbek. Earlier when I told you there were people in your life who could help you get back what you had lost, I was talking about me."

"You, Sir?" Paul looked up in surprise.

"During the AI War I was a prisoner," McQueen heard Paul gasp as he talked. "It was in November of 2056. That was the longest two weeks of my life.

"Two weeks, my God," Paul was amazed. "I wasn't able to hold out for ten hours!"

"I didn't hold out," McQueen murmured. He could see the deep cavern where he had been kept as if it was yesterday. "My plane was shot down while doing routine reconnaissance over Alaska. I was able to manually eject, but couldn't clear the damaged canopy and hit my head hard enough to knock me out. My 'chute must have opened on decent, because I have no memory of opening it.

---

November 2056, Alaska

Captain Tyrus Cassius McQueen's first thought was that he was cold, very cold. Was he back in the mines on Omicron Draconis? Taking a deep breath he fought the blackness that threatened to overpower him again. Grabbing onto anything, even the throbbing pain in his head, he forced himself to full consciousness. He pulled himself to a sitting position, only to be stabbed with dizziness and nausea that drove him to lay back down.

McQueen dug his nails into the packed dirt under him, as he rested until his stomach calmed and the dizziness passed. He tried to sit again, this time more gingerly. He gave a grunt of satisfaction when he was able to stay upright.

He was in a small cave that had bars on the front of it. He could hear moaning through the walls, on either side of him, but it was too dark to see more than a foot in front of his face.

"Hey, who's out there?" McQueen called out.

"Shut-up, Tank!" A very large AI stepped in front of his cell and hit the bars with a weapon. "There is no talking here, unless we ask the questions."

McQueen never knew how many people were kept in the underground cavern with him. He never saw anyone but AI's. He would hear screams at all hours of the day and night. If it was other prisoners, or AI's trying to wear him down, he never knew.

For some reason they hadn't take his watch. McQueen knew he was in the cell for 6 days 7 hours and 23 minutes before they came for him. At first listening to the screams had gotten on his nerves, then he devised a plan. First he repeated to himself how to take apart and reassemble every firearm he knew. He worked his way through the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and was half way through a mental blue-print of the Yorktown when they came for him.

---

Saratoga April 21, 2064, 0230

"By the time they came for me, I was exhausted to the point of disorientation," McQueen watched Paul shiver. "They worked on me for three days, before I broke. There were times when I didn't know if I was awake or dreaming."

"How did you hold out so long?" Paul had tears in his eyes.

"I don't know," McQueen looked deep into his cold coffee. "I would hear my screams and think they belonged to someone else. Sometimes they seemed to echo from far away."

"If I could have lasted longer, things would all be different," Paul sighed.

"This isn't a contest, Paul," McQueen whispered. "When you're an in-vitro, you're taught that your only reason for being created is to fight and then to die. I think that until that time I had always believed that I was a walking dead man. It's pretty hard to hurt a man who's already dead."

"Didn't you feel any of it?" Paul gasped.

"Oh yeah," McQueen gripped his mug until his knuckles turned white. "I felt it, but you said something last night. You asked 'why couldn't your body break down before your soul?'" McQueen gave a half smile, "I was never taught that I had a soul, so there was none to break. What was done. The pain.....was the only thing that told me I was still alive. Is that making any sense?"

"Yes. I knew as long as I felt what Elroy was doing to me I was still human," Paul met McQueen's eyes, knowing the other man understood him completely.

"In the end I broke and told them what they wanted to know. Don't kid yourself, Paul, you're not alone in this. No one, in-vitro or natural-born can stand-up to what they do to you," McQueen stood to look at the stars. "I know this much, I couldn't go through it again."

"You went in there after us, to that hell-hole on Kazbek, knowing that there were AI's in there?" Paul challenged.

"Yes, and I'd do it again," he knew that Paul needed to hear the truth. "But, they would never have taken me alive, nor would I have let them keep any of you alive."

The enormity of what the Colonel was saying hit Paul, and he was flooded with relief. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel helpless. Now he knew the decision was an easy one, life or death, no in-between, but the choice would be his. Paul hoped that he would always be able to choose to live, but if he couldn't? So be it. It would be his choice, not one forced on him by another. In that moment his soul began to heal.

---

Saratoga, May 4, 2064, 2000 hours

Jenny stretched her arms over he head. Her shift in Sickbay was over. Things had been busy for the last month. The Saratoga was on a constant state of alert. Squadrons were going out at all times of the day and night. The Medical Corps was working hard to stay ahead of the wounded being brought in. Tonight she had promised to meet the Wildcards in the Tun for a quick drink. It had been a while since they had been together, and though she was tired she was looking forward to an evening out.

The bar was crowded and it's usual friendly atmosphere was muted. Soldiers looked tired, as if they had come in for a quick drink before hitting the rack. Jenny didn't see the 58th at their usual table. Shrugging her shoulders she worked her way to the bar to put in her order. Before she had time to do that, the ominous sounds of an argument getting loud and rough, broke out behind her.

"Take it out of here," Jenny turned as two large Marines converged on each other. "I said, take it out......" she reached for the meaty arm of the man closest to her. The Marine shook off her hand as he drew back his arm, his elbow came back, hard and fast, hitting her between the eyes, as he put his whole body into punching his friend.

Jenny heard the pop and snap of cartilage and bone breaking, as her head snapped back. She bounced against the bar and fell to the floor as the air whooshed out of her. The room seemed to be moving in slow motion. Large combat boots scuffled in front of her, keeping her trapped beneath the overhang of the bar.

Loud voices coming from far off brought the room back to a semblance of order. Jenny pulled back tighter against the bar in hope no one would see her, sitting with her hands covering her face.

"Dr. Kirkwood," Shane's worried voice sounded very close. "Jenny, let me get a look at you." The Marine carefully held Jenny's arms and pulled the injuries woman's hands away from her face.

"Shane, Vanessa?" Jenny shook her head, but she felt like she was moving at half speed. She could see the worried look on both Marines' faces.

"Break it up in here?" McQueen had just come through the swinging doors of the Tun.

"Attention on deck," someone yelled at the Colonel's presence.

"No," Jenny gasped as she saw feet quickly scamper to attention, very close to her. Her grip tightened on the two Marines she was hiding behind.

"Vansen, Damphousse?" McQueen barked, wondering why they were huddling under the bar.

"Sir," 'Phousse let go of Jenny's hand as the doctor hid her face again. "You better come over here."

McQueen took one look at the woman sitting with her back tight against the bar, her legs drawn up and her hands covering her face. His stomach clenched at the blood running down her neck and soaking into her sweater. For one instant, he was back in a hospital room in Houston. The sound of security guards arriving brought him back to the present.

"What the hell happened?" McQueen knelt in front of Jenny.

"I saw it from the door," Shane spoke quickly as Jenny pulled closer to her. "It was an accident, she was trying to stop a fight, when she got hit."

"Jen," McQueen held her gently by the wrists. He could feel her warm breath on his fingers. "Let me see how badly you're hurt."

"No, Ty," Jenny whispered. "Go away."

"Take those men to the brig," he called over his shoulder to the security guards. "I want a full report by 0800 tomorrow." He looked at Shane and Damphousse and indicated for them to leave him with Jenny.

"Jen," he rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs. "I need to see how bad it is? You're bleeding all over the place."

"Please, Ty, just go away," Jenny rocked as tears filled her eyes. She was mortified that she had been hurt. Then to have McQueen see her like this only added insult to injury. "It's broken, my nose is broken, that's where all the blood is coming from," she sobbed into her hands.

"Vansen," the ice in McQueen's voice hid his frustration and worry. "You and Damphousse take her to Sickbay. She won't let me anywhere near her." He stood and motioned the two Marines over.

As her two friends helped her to her feet, Jenny peeked over her hands to get a look at the icy expression on Ty's face. The anger that rolled off of him in waves made her cringe.

"Jen," he ground out as he glared at the three women going through the swinging doors of the Tun. "As soon as I get the paperwork taken care of in the brig, I'm coming to Sickbay. This isn't over yet."

Chico Voss patched Jenny up, though he argued when she insisted on going back to her own quarters for the night. He ignored her threat to sign herself out AMA (against medical advice), since it wasn't possible in the military, but decided that anyone well enough to argue the way she did was well enough to be released . He sent her on her way with a hypospray of pain medication, 10 brista-freeze packets, and Joan Brill to make sure the Doctor used the pain medication.

---

Jenny's Quarters

"Jenny, you get some sleep." Joan had helped the shivering woman change into an over-sized sweat shirt and administered the pain medication.

"Jen!" Loud knocking was heard at Jenny's hatch. "Let me in."

"Shhh," Jenny huddled against her pillows, holding brista-freeze packs on her eyes. "If we're really quiet, he won't know we're in here and he'll go away."

"Doctor," Joan laughed. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head? That man isn't going away."

"Okay, Okay," Jenny pulled her blanket over her face. "Let him in."

"Colonel," Joan opened the hatch. Her expression softened when she saw the worry on the man's face. "She's going to be all right. I've given her pain medication, so anything she says, well...don't court martial her," the older nurse smiled as she saw McQueen relax.

"I'm well acquainted with her sharp tongue, Commander," McQueen stepped into the room.

"Just remember, you've been warned," Joan grinned as she watched McQueen move toward the lump under the blankets. *"Now how did that line go, yes I remember now,"* laughing as she let herself out of Jenny's quarters and Shakespeare's words played in her head. * "'Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.'"*

"Jen..." he sat beside her on the bunk.

"I wasn't fighting," Jenny peeked out from under the blanket, but kept the packs on her eyes. "Really I wasn't. I wouldn't do anything that might damage my hands. At least not something foolish. One can't do surgery with swollen hands."

"Nor with swollen eyes,......" He reached for her hands.

"This wasn't my fault, McQueen!" She tried to pull away from him.

"I didn't think it was," McQueen was caught in a gentle tug-of-war as he tried to pull her hands away from her face. "Was the fight an accident?"

"What?" In her surprise, Jenny let him win. "You think this might have been done on purpose?"

"It wouldn't be the first time." He had talked to the two men in the brig, but he still didn't have an answer.

"This wasn't like Houston," she sat up needing to convince him and herself. "Really it wasn't."

"There's too much going on that we don't know about to take any chances," McQueen didn't want to scare her but he needed answers.

"Okay, give me a minute here," Jenny thought over the evening carefully. "No, Ty, it was an accident. That young Sargent didn't know I was behind him. All he cared about was hitting his friend, besides what would anyone have to gain by trying to give me two black eyes?"

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, Jen, but he didn't try, he succeeded." McQueen dodged her question.

"Ohhh," she moaned as she put the freeze packs back on her eyes. "You didn't answer my question. I'm tired of being kept in the dark around here." Jenny was angry at him for not giving her a straight answer. "How am I supposed to avoid a potentially dangerous situation if I don't know it exists!"

"Jen," he sighed. "I think this was nothing except an unfortunate accident, but I can't be sure."

"Just say it straight out," she removed the packs from her eyes needing to see him. "Please, don't play games with me."

"He hit you here," his finger touched her lightly were Chico Voss had taped her nose. "A little lower, say here." He let his finger drag lightly down to the tip of her nose, "with the correct angle, he could have driven the bone into your brain. It's a lethal blow."

"Nooo," Jen whispered, unable to take her eyes off McQueen.

"I don't want to frighten you," McQueen held her gaze. "You need to be careful. Until we get this all sorted out, you need to be very careful."

"I'm so tired of all this," she held the packs over her eyes again, too exhausted to pretend she was strong. "My head hurts, I can hardly see, and if I start to cry again, I won't be able to breath. Besides, blowing my nose makes my eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head."

"Do you want me to get Joan to stay with you tonight?" McQueen watched as she pulled the blanket over her head.

"No," she murmured. "I can take care of myself." A small traitorous voice shouted inside of her, *"please stay with me."*

"I know you can, Jen, but you don't always have to," he picked up a throw he recognized from a couch on Catalina and added it to the blanket she already had over her.

"Thanks, Ty," a voice came from under the lump of blankets. "How did you know I was cold?"

"Just a wild guess," he whispered, knowing her needs better than he liked to admit. The only time she didn't wear multiple layers of clothes was when she was in the OR. "Get some sleep, Jen."

"UmmHmm," her fingers of one hand were all that was sticking out from the pile of blankets as he left her quarters.

---

Saratoga May 12, 2064, 0315 hours

Jenny hadn't been the only casualty of the fight in the Tun Tavern on the night of April 21. In her injured condition, the doctor was put on sick leave, therefore wasn't there when Cooper Hawkes was brought into Sickbay a week and a half later. He had received a mild head injury in a skirmish with a group of Chigs. Due to the heavy in-flow of patients that day, none of the regular Saratoga medical staff had taken care of him. He was put on phyllophetamines for pain relief.

Cooper Hawkes tossed and turned on the bunk in the detox room. His dreams were confusing. He didn't know where he was. When he moved, his body was hit with muscle cramps that made him scream in pain. The voices that were yelling in his brain were trying to drown out the calmer voices in the background. Some small part of him knew that if he could hold onto the quiet sound of the man and the woman in the background, he would win the fight with the screaming in his head.

It was Hawkes third night in detox, the night before had been bad, but this was the worst so far. McQueen had finally ordered everyone out of the room. Jen had refused to leave on medical grounds and he couldn't argue with her on that, though he had wanted to.

"They're coming over the ridge!" Cooper called out and tried to push to his feet, looking around frantically. "Colonel, give me my weapon back, those damn Chigs will break through anytime now."

"Easy, Hawks," McQueen kept his voice soft as the young in-vitro fought the same battle for the third time that night.

"Shane!" Hawkes screamed. "Shane they've got her. I have to get to her," he pushed past Jenny who had been sitting on the edge of his bunk, rubbing his back.

"Easy Coop," Jen regained her balance and glared at McQueen who had grabbed for Hawkes. "Shane's just fine. Can you hear me Coop?"

"Cooper," McQueen took his lead from Jen. "Lay back down. Shane's asleep in her quarters."

"No," the big Marine pushed against McQueen. "Oohhh," he cried out as his muscles spasmed. "Colonel, you gotta help me!" He curled up in pain.

"I will. I'm right here for you," McQueen gripped the younger man's shoulder and sat beside him.

"No," Hawkes gasped. "You made me leave them behind! We left them, and you knew what they'd do to them! They'll hurt her like they did Wang."

"Easy Coop," Jenny knelt beside the bunk. "Shane's fine. Remember, you got her safely back to the Saratoga?"

"No, we left her," he looked to McQueen for conformation. "She was unconscious. I couldn't lift the beam off of her. We left them all."

"Ty," Jen leaned against his knee as he sat beside Coop on the bunk. "Go get Shane, he needs to hear her voice and know that she's all right."

"I'm not leaving you alone in here," his eyes froze remembering another night when he had been the one out of his head from Greens.

Turning, she focused all her attention on McQueen. His face was gray and his usually clear blue eyes, bloodshot. For the first time she realized how hard this was on him. He was seeing not only Coop, going through detox, but he was picturing himself, as well. Added to that, was the weight of some of the accusations Hawkes was sending his way.

"All right," she whispered, knowing the Colonel needed time to regroup. She wished things were different and she could hold him as he had her the night before Kazbek. He may be learning how to give comfort, but from his stiff posture, Jenny could tell that he wasn't ready to accept it yet, not from her.

"Thanks," McQueen whispered as Jenny stood. He watched her body freeze for just a moment, then move out the door.

Jenny didn't have far to go to get Shane. The Wildcards were sleeping in the hall, out of sight of the soundproofed detox room.

"Shane," Jenny touched her shoulder. "Wake-up Shane. I need you to come with me for a few minutes."

"Sure," Shane came awake instantly. "Anything you need."

"Can we come too?" Nathan, got to his feet to follow.

"No, Nathan," Jen patted him on the shoulder. "Just Shane for the moment."

"What can I do?" Shane followed the Doctor around the corner and down the hall.

"He needs to hear your voice," Jen explained. "He thinks he's still on Kazbek and that the AI's have you guys. But Shane....."she stopped and looked at the Marine. "This is almost as hard on T...the Colonel, as it is on Coop, so don't be surprised if he isn't exactly himself.""

"Looks to me as if it's pretty hard on you too, Doctor." Shane wiped at a tear that was rolling down Jenny's cheek.

"No," Jen shook her head. "I'm doing fine."

"Yeah sure, tough lady," Shane put her arms around the smaller woman and gave her a quick hug. "You'll get Coop through this."

"Shane, thanks." For one second Jenny let herself lean on Shane, before she took a deep breath and opened the door. "I needed that."

"Nooo," Hawkes cried out. The only thing that was keeping him from going over the edge was the sound of McQueen's voice coming from far away.

"Talk to him, Shane," Jenny nudged the Marine forward. "Reassure him that you're all alive and safe."

"Coop, it's me," Shane knelt beside the bunk and reached for his hand.

"No, its a trick," Hawkes shook his head, trying to focus his eyes. "The AI's got all of you. I'm sorry I left you."

"Shhh," she leaned closer to the man on the bunk. "I'm right here. We're all here on the Saratoga."

"Talk to him, Shane," Jen leaned down to speak softly in her ear. "Just let him hear your voice."

McQueen and Jenny moved back where they could keep an eye on what was going on, but could still give Cooper and Shane privacy.

"Jen, go get something to eat and some rest," McQueen took her arm to lead her toward the door. "Shane and I'll handle it for the next few hours."

"I want to see him through tonight," Jen moved away from him. "Shane's here with me, why don't you go get food and......"

"No," McQueen stood his ground. "I'm not going to leave you with him, even if Shane is here. Besides, I can rest when I'm dead."

"You know you said that to me once, when I was trapped on Kordis," she shook her head when she realized what she had said. "Actually Colonel," Jenny thought fast to cover her mistake. "I was going to suggest you bathe."

"Hump," he nodded, realizing she'd touched on a subject she wanted to stay away from. "If you think this is bad, you should see me when I come in from a mission."

"I have, and smelled you too," Jen crossed her arms to put more distance between them.

"What no Hammerhead fuel?" McQueen gave her a half smile. He didn't know why he had pushed her, but he saw his remark hit it's target.

"Look McQueen," Jen turned away from him. "Neither you nor I want to leave, so lets stop the verbal sparing. I'll go over there and get some rest," she pointed to a nest of blankets that they had been using to catch naps. "You wake me in two hours and you get some sleep then."

McQueen waited until Jenny was settled in the shadowy corner of the room, before going back to where Shane was talking softly to a restless Cooper Hawkes.

"How's he doing, Captain?" The Colonel knelt beside the bunk.

"He fell asleep a few minutes ago," Shane whispered, still letting Coop hold her hand. "How're you doing, Sir."

"I've been better," he rubbed his eyes. "If Jen's predictions are correct, tonight was the worst of it."

"She doesn't look like she can take much more," Shane looked over her shoulder, seeing only the outline of the sleeping woman. "She looks worse than she did when we picked her up off of Kordis, but it could be the black eyes." Though the swelling had subsided a lot in the last few days, the area around the Doctor's eyes was every shade from black/purple to a yellow/green.

"I've only seen her look worse once," it had been a year, but McQueen could still remember what Jen had looked like when he walked into that hospital room in Houston.

"When she was mugged?" Shane was holding Hawkes' hand in one of hers, with the other hand she was unconsciously rubbing the back of his arm.

"She told you about that?" McQueen frowned. That was something he hadn't expected.

"I cut her hair, Sir," Shane didn't need to say more, they both knew about the scar on the back of Jen's neck and how she got it.

"What else did she have to say?" He was looking at the sleeping woman across the room.

"Nothing," Shane saw McQueen watching Jenny. "She never talks about herself but...."

Shane stopped in mid sentence when Jenny began to toss and turn, mumbling in her sleep. The young Marine watched in amazement when her commander got up and moved to the woman. McQueen knelt beside Jen and pulled the blanket up around her shoulders as he talked softly. Words that only Jenny and he could hear. The sound of his voice quieting her. He sat with her for a moment before returning to the other end of the room, where Shane had quickly averted her eyes. The Captain knew she had caught a glimpse into the private life of her commander and she wasn't sure she was comfortable having seen it.

"Nightmares," McQueen murmured as he sat back down. He had forgotten that Shane was in the room.

"I had hoped she wasn't still having them," Shane looked back at Jenny.

"What do you mean?" McQueen wondered how much the 58th knew about Jenny.

"When she was quartered with us she used to wake up screaming," Shane couldn't meet McQueen's eyes. "At first she would walk the ship for hours, then for some reason she stopped doing that. When she would wake with a nightmare, she would go back to sleep and sleep through the night," Shane wasn't going to tell him about finding Jenny sleeping clutching a sweat shirt. Whoever the shirt had belonged to was very important to the Doctor and Shane didn't think McQueen would understand.

"Did she talk to you about her nightmares?" He hadn't realized Jen was still having them. She hadn't said a thing to him about them since that first night in the alcove.

"No, Sir," Shane looked at Hawkes as she spoke. "She didn't say anything to us about them. We, decided that if she didn't want to talk about them, we'd respect her privacy. I'm not sure we did her any favors by doing that. If it had been one of us, she'd have demanded to know what was wrong and not let go until we talked."

"I think you people have her number," McQueen grinned.

"Sir," Shane turned to her commander. "I realize that something is going on that's classified. Something she's involved in." Shane and Vanessa had talked about it and were worried. The Doctor was working on something in her quarters, something that Ross and McQueen knew about, but no one else. "But isn't there anything you can do? She doesn't belong out here."

"None of us belong out here, Vansen," McQueen's voice was crisp and brooked no response.

"Colonel, I'm worried about her," Shane whispered. "I don't think she's as tough as she pretends."

"How so?" McQueen watched Vansen fidget, "you started this Vansen, finish it."

"I'm not talking about in Sickbay or when she's functioning as a doctor," Shane squinted her eyes picturing Jenny, searching for the right words. "Anyone who can amputate a man's arm with a K-bar and a survival saw, has what it takes, but inside all of that there is someone else completely. The part that really worries me is that I think she hides that person from herself as well as others."

"Go on," she had caught his attention completely.

"Well, Sir, every once in a while," Shane stopped and licked her lips, not sure the in-vitro man would understand what she was about to say. "Every once in a while, when she's tired, or doesn't think anyone is looking, I catch a glimpse of another woman in there. One who's hurting badly."

"Vansen," McQueen sighed. "We've all been hurt in one way or another, that's life."

"Yes, Sir," Shane had taken the matter as far as she dared. A quick glance at the Colonel and she knew that without hard evidence she wasn't getting anywhere on the matter. She had done all she could do for the moment. How could she explain to a man who had never shed a tear, about a woman who would cry silently, fighting to keep it a secret?

---

May 15, 2064 Jenny's Quarters 1900 hours

Jenny was missing something in her research. She shook her head as she decided that she was going to have to start from the beginning. She still didn't have an answer for Commodore Ross. So far she had found nothing out of the ordinary in her notes.

"Dr. Kirkwood," someone knocked on her hatch. "It's me Cooper, can I come in?"

"Hi Coop, how're you feeling," Jenny opened her door for the young man. "You look great!"

"I'm feeling much better, Doctor," he smiled. "I wanted to thank you for what you did for me. I was out of it, but I knew you were there all the time, both you and the Colonel."

"This never should have happened in the first place, Coop," Jenny had been furious when she found out that phyllophetamines were still in the Navy's Pharmaceutical Formulary. The doctor who had prescribed them for Coop had been a 'swing-shifter', one of the medical personal who moved through the carriers, working two to three week assignments to help out in emergencies.

"Lady-Doc, even if you'd been there," Coop shrugged, "it was so busy, the casualties coming in so fast, you'd probably have been in surgery. The other doctor would have taken care of me anyway. I need to ask you about something else."

"Sit down, you look worried," Jenny offered him the desk chair and took her usual place on the side of the bunk across from him.

"It's something that happened when we were on the Bacchus," Hawkes mumbled. "It's kind of embarrassing, but I need to ask you about it."

"Coop, remember I'm your doctor as well as your friend," Jenny smiled. She was afraid she knew what was coming. "You can tell me anything and it won't go any further."

"There was this woman," he couldn't meet her eyes. "And yes we did, well, you know....?" He blushed when he thought about the experience. "but that's only part of what's bothering me. Dr. Kirkwood, she was an in-vitro, and she had a baby," the only way he could tell this was to just say it. "And well, she had a whole pile of Greens."

"Wait. Back up here a second." Jenny was trying to find the root of his worry. "I gather you were with a woman. You slept with this lady."

"She was no lady, Doc," he answered emphatically.

"That's what I was getting at," Jenny smiled. "She was a woman who slept with men for money? And that's bothering you?"

"No, well yes a little," Hawkes needed Jenny to see what was wrong. "What I want to know is how a woman like that gets a pile of Greens. She was taking them by the handful and she had a kid and everything to raise."

"You're not worried about your health?" Jenny needed to make sure.

"No way, Jenny!" Coop grinned, "I may have been inexperienced, but I'm not stupid. I know how to take care of myself."

"You're wondering where she got all the Greens?" Jenny looked over at her research disks on her desk. "Did this woman work for the Bacchus?"

"I guess so," he shrugged. "She lived there. It's so wrong for her to be taking those things and be a mother and all. How can that be allowed?"

"That's a good question, that I don't have an answer to. You had some blood work done today," Jenny needed one more thing from Hawkes. "Would you mind if I did a DNA scan on it?"

"I guess not," he didn't understand what his DNA had to do with anything. "But what about...?"

"I want to check something," Jen's mind was already on what she needed to do. "Can I get back to you about the rest of this. I have an idea, but I have to check it out first."

After Coop left, Jenny went to work. She pulled up the two in-vitro DNA scans she had in her notes. These scans belonged to Patsy Howard and the first in-vitro, Max, the son of Roger and Marla Abaan.

Max had been born after a nine month gestation period that produced a baby, instead of the six year gestation period that produced an 18 year old. There were no growth hormones added. Since subliminal teaching programs weren't necessary, there was no need for a neck navel that gave access to the brain. The infant that was produced was like any other baby.

The Abaan's had been childless. When Marla was able to conceive, she had been unable to carry to term. They had been a research team in genetic engineering who were active in fighting the growing problem of infertility among the human race.

As she was processing Hawkes' DNA, Jenny began researching the drug phyllophetamine. By midnight, a terrible picture was forming. She needed more samples of in-vitro DNA to prove her hypothesis and she knew of only one place to get any.

"Col. McQueen," Jen knocked on his hatch, she knew it was late, but she needed his help. "It's Dr. Kirkwood."

"What do you want Jen?" A sleep rumpled McQueen answered the door. He was wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt that left little to the imagination.

"I may have found something," she mouthed in the corridor. "But I need your help," was added in a whisper.

"In here," he turned on the light on his desk, as he let her into his quarters. "What have you found?"

"So far it's only an hypothesis," she took a deep breath working up the courage. "I need a sample of your DNA. A few cc's of blood would do."

"What's this all about?" McQueen didn't like it, but he trusted Jenny.

"May I use your computer, I'll show you," Jenny pulled disks from the bag over her shoulder, as they moved to his desk. "This is DNA taken from Patsy Howard, next to it is the DNA structure of Max Abaan, nothing so far," Jen scrolled to the next page. Here I've added Coop's DNA. See this odd peptide strand? There's a third amino acid there. Look, here is my DNA, beside Patsy's and Max's. All three contain a double amino acid on that peptide, not the triplet like on Coop's. I need to see if you have a pairing or triplet on your DNA in that spot."

"What are you trying to prove here?" McQueen was fascinated by the DNA mapping.

"This is going to sound far-fetched, so hear me out. What if that extra amino acid is the cause of phyllophetamine addiction?" Jenny could tell he wasn't following her. "Patsy has no problems with Greens, she was given them at one time for her knee when she fell. She never developed an addiction. She has a double amino acid, not a triplet."

"If that triplet has anything to do with phyllophetamines, and that's a big 'if', how do you know that the Greens didn't cause it. Not the other way around." McQueen leaned over Jenny, one hand on the back of her chair, the other hand on the desk. "Maybe there is something in the drug that would cause a mutation in some in-vitros?"

"Because of this, " Jenny changed screens. "Look at this. It's Coop's DNA structure, taken from his medical file. This screening was done when he was put into the judicial system, and it was passed along to the Marine Corps. At the time this was done, he had never had any Greens. I rechecked his tonight to be sure. Look and tell me what you see, when I put the two screens together."

"They're the same," McQueen looked down into Jenny's face. She was so close her hair tickled his arm when she moved her head. "It could mean nothing." His mind was working and he didn't like the picture it was producing.

"One of the things I've never understood about phyllophetamine addiction is why it would effect in-vitros only," Jenny took a deep breath then plunged in. "I can't prove any of this, but what if that extra amino acid was put there on purpose?" She let her statement sink in before continuing. "I've done some research. Aerotech marketed the phyllophetamine family of drugs in 2041, but had been researching it for 6 years before that. The In-Vitro Authority is owned and operated by Aerotech. You were born in 2042 and you're one of the oldest patients I've ever treated for addiction to Greens."

"That alone should disprove your theory," it made McQueen sick to contemplate the implications, if Jen was correct. "I was in the tank when that drug came on the market."

"No it doesn't!" Jenny wanted badly to be wrong, but she needed for McQueen to look at all the angles. "Haven't you ever wondered why the survival rate for gestational in-vitros was only 20%? I have. What if someone was manipulating DNA to produce a drug controllable human being? And 'oh so sorry, but until I get it right, they're nothing but lab rats! Expendable!' If that was the case, they would wait to put the drug on the market until they knew it would work."

"Take it easy, Jen," McQueen wanted to hit out at something, but didn't want Jen to pick up on his anger.

"Coop was telling me about a prostitute he met on the Bacchus," Jenny stressed the name. "Again, a place owned and operated by Aerotech. She had a box full of Greens. Phyllophetamines aren't easy or cheap to come by on the street. Remember I told you and Commodore Ross that I wasn't working on anything at the time I was transferred from the In-Vitro Health Facility to the Moonbase, but that I was waiting to hear on three grant proposals. One of the grants was for research into the cause and prevention of phyllophetamines addiction."

"I think you had better take that blood sample," McQueen clenched his fists at the implications of what Jen might have uncovered. "Even if I have the triplet, it's just supposition, but Aerotech's name comes up too often for my liking."

"I know this sounds like ranting," Jen stood, moving out of the light and into the shadows. She had enough of the picture of Amy McQueen grinning at her, from beside the computer. *"I may be a fool to love him,"* Jen thought as she had glared at the picture. *"But you were the bigger fool to have stopped loving him."* "There's one other thing, Ty. I believe that's the only copy of the Abaan's research notes in existence."

"How did you get them?" He liked this less and less as she talked.

"When I was researching my book, I went to see Dr. Abaan. He was a sad old man. His wife and son had been killed by AI's. He was living in seclusion in his native Philippines," Jenny turned to the porthole to watch the stars, still seeing the look on the old man's face. "By the time I met Dr. Abaan, he was sick with disgust at what the world had done with his ideas. I think he gave me his field notes to make amends."

"It wasn't his fault," McQueen watched Jen turn her head to look at him. "But those notes prove that Max Abaan isn't the myth people pretend he is."

"I'm sorry, Ty. I'd never bring this to you, if it weren't so important," she turned, her eyes catching the bunk he had recently crawled out of. Her mouth went dry as she could make out the imprint of his head on the pillow. "A..a..you realize I can't prove any of this? Even if we were back on Earth, I'd have to turn this over to a genetic engineer," she was relieved that she was able to find her train of thought, again.

"Jen," McQueen moved quietly behind her and gently turned her around. "How long since you had a full night's sleep?" He looked into her eyes, still bruised from when her nose was broken. He could smell the rose scent that was always a part of her. McQueen felt his quarters shrink. A bunk that was three feet away was suddenly too close for comfort, or was it?

"I'd say about a year," Jen laughed up at him. "You're not one to talk. Coop's detox was as rough on you as it was on him." She knew they were standing too close, but she didn't want to move away. His hands were still on her shoulders and she could feel the warmth of his sides under her palms. *"When did I reach for him? Have I always held him like this?"* Nonsense thoughts flashed through her head.

"The information in those notes has waited this long," McQueen whispered, his head nodding slightly toward the bunk. "One more night won't make any difference. The choice is yours."

Was he asking what she though he was? Jenny could only stare into clear blue eyes that were everything she had ever wanted. As if the Saratoga could feel the uncertainty that was beating through two of its occupants, it bucked. The ship made the decision. Causing the man and woman to hold on to each other for support for one moment, then they pulled quickly apart. The ship righted itself and resumed it's course, but in it's heart could be heard the hum of later, when the time is right.

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