Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "SPACE: Above and Beyond" are the creations of Glen Morgan and James Wong, Fox Broadcasting and Hard Eight Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Dylan Mackenzie belongs to me.
Rating: NC-17 This story contains sex - don't say you didn't know!
Once again - MANY THANKS to Karen, she's the bestest beta ever, and Vasalysa - who showed me the dark side!
Chapter 3.
The day started fairly smoothly. As they were getting ready to leave to take the boys for breakfast, several young lieutenants turned up to assist them in the removal of Dill's belongings to the promised VIP quarters. The boys behaved impeccably whilst eating their breakfast and drew quite a crowd of female admirers, to McQueen's horror. He knew that once Dill and the boys had left, total strangers would be asking him how the boys were getting on, and possibly even making passes at him. He shuddered at the thought.
After breakfast he took the boys to the gym for an hour, leaving Dill time to visit sickbay with Iona and get checked over. He knew his reputation was shot when, after rolling around with them on the gym mats for half an hour, he realised a small crowd had gathered to watch him, astounded at the behaviour of the uptight, highly controlled colonel they knew and respected. And, in some cases, even feared. He cursed himself for not pinning a notice on the door telling everyone to keep out, and reddened when he saw his own 'kids', the 58th, smiling indulgently at him.
McQueen tried to reassert his air of authority as he left, but it was difficult to do as Hamish disappeared out of the door and along the corridor at such a pace that he had to grab Cameron and run after him. The smothered laughter he could hear didn't improve his mood at all.
They finally arrived at Dill's quarters. Hamish had led him a merry dance all through the corridors, refusing to hold his hand or allow him to pick him up, and Cameron refused to be put down, crying if Ty tried to make him walk. McQueen was in a foul mood. He 'd got nothing but indulgent smiles the whole way, and female officers stopping to coo at the toddler in his arms. He'd never really considered just what effect the boys being on the ship would have, and he was convinced that he would no longer be taken seriously or given the respect that he'd worked so hard for.
What he didn't expect was to walk into a room full of giggling women, who took one look at the expression on his face and erupted into howls of laughter.
"Dill!" he snapped. "I have a briefing to attend. I'll see you later!" With a scowl at Iona and Nurse Wilson, he deposited Cameron on the floor and marched back out of the door. As he pulled it closed behind him, he heard Nurse Wilson speak.
"What a face! And he's such a poppet normally__" The rest of what she said was drowned out by Dill laughing.
With his temper worsened, he marched off to the briefing room.
Dill sat chuckling with Iona and Nurse Wilson, whose name she had discovered was Laura. She'd been delighted to find that the cheerful nurse was in sickbay when she arrived. The three women had spent a long time discussing Dill's toddlers before Dill had managed to get the details of McQueen's spell in sickbay out of her. She then persuaded Laura to come and meet the boys, knowing that Ty would be bringing them back shortly.
"Oh god, Laura! You didn't really call him poppet to his face, did you?" Iona laughed. "I can just see him now. I'll bet he gave you that glare he's so fond of."
"He had half of sickbay terrified of him, but since I told them you called him Colonel Cutie, they look at him in a whole new light." Laura told her.
"That's my husband you're talking about ladies - a little respect, please! He may well be a cutie, but he's my cutie, and if he finds out you're calling him that, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes." Dill smirked as she dug in a bag for some toys for the boys, who were hanging onto her legs.
Once she'd spread the toys around the floor, Dill sat back down. "The little guys will be fine for a while now. I wonder what's got Ty so riled up?" She turned as Cameron appeared by her side, his voice a plaintive wail. "Why daddy?" he asked her, his little body starting to shake from the sobs that followed.
"Oh god, Cameron, not again." she sighed, lifting him onto her lap as he began repeating it over and over again.
Despite her cuddling him, the little boy became more and more hysterical. "You know, I'd hoped that he would calm down a bit after spending time with Ty, but if anything he's getting worse. At least before, I could calm him." Dill turned to Iona. "Will you have a look and see if that blanket is in his cot for me, please? You know the one I mean, the sandalwood one."
"Of course." Iona said, getting up.
"Sandalwood? That's a little strong for a toddler, surely?" Laura asked, watching Cameron closely as he clung to his mother, screaming for his daddy.
"Ty uses a sandalwood soap." Dill explained. "So I washed the blanket in the same soap. It helps him sometimes. He formed a really close bond with Ty when he came home for his last leave, and he's been having major separation issues ever since."
"Like what?"
"Well, this screaming, for one." Iona told her, coming back with the blanket. "He calls for TC almost constantly."
"And if I leave the room, he just totally loses it." Dill added, as the child in her arms went rigid and began to scream louder, the blanket having no effect whatsoever. "He's got gradually worse over the past six months. At first, a disc of Ty would calm him down. He'd sit and stare at it, and every so often get up and kiss the screen."
"But that doesn't work anymore, I take it?"
"No. My mother had some child psychologist come and see him. He wasn't eating, and either sitting there listlessly or screaming like this, calling for Ty. The idiot man said I had to make him forget about Ty. What a moron! What did he think I was going to do, tell Ty never to come home again? He told me I had to remove all the pictures of Ty, and stop playing them the discs I have. Oh, and that I have to stop talking about 'daddy' in his hearing!"
"I take it you objected?" Laura asked.
"Too bloody right! Mind you, watching him kissing the screen and crying for Ty was breaking my heart. But now it's got so bad that most nights he ends up sleeping with me because he wakes up screaming." Dill shook her head, rocking the crying child gently in her arms. "He just keeps asking 'why daddy?'. Well, you can hear for yourself. But how do I explain to an eighteen month old child why his daddy has to leave him? I'm scared as hell about how he'll react when Isobel arrives."
"Isobel?" Iona queried. "Is that what you're calling the baby?"
"Ty chose it. Don't you like it?" Dill asked, still trying to calm Cameron.
"It's lovely, and it goes with McQueen too. He found a nice Scots name, just as you told him to!" Iona laughed.
"I didn't tell him. I just asked him to think about it" Dill frowned. "Oh, come on, little man. This really isn't fair. Daddy had to go, but he spent a long time with you earlier. You can't have him all the time." She hugged the toddler to her. "He's coming back, my lover. I promise."
"It's a good job the other chappie's a happy little soul." Laura said, watching Hamish, who was absorbed in his sorting toy.
"Well, Cameron used to be. And he's as happy as Larry when Ty's about. But this is how he gets when Ty leaves. He'll cry himself to sleep soon, and either he'll wake up and call for Ty or he'll be really quiet and withdrawn."
"You know, Dylan, I might be able to help you with this." At the surprised looks Dill and Iona gave her, she laughed. "I worked in paediatrics for a very long time before I joined the military. There are one or two things that I need to arrange, and we can see if it'll help. I'll sort it out as soon as possible and get back to you, okay?"
"Laura, if you can help, I'll name the baby after you!" Dill told her earnestly
"Understand that I'm not promising, and it might take a while to sort out. I'll need to do a little surfing on the space net, but I know exactly what I'm looking for, so that shouldn't be an issue. What might be is accessing the net in the first place." Laura said thoughtfully.
"Laura, Ty is a Lt. Colonel. He'll pull rank if it helps Cameron." Dill assured her.
"Well, we'll see. You need to understand, though, I'm not promising miracles here. But it worked for us with toddlers who had separation problems. It might work for you." The nurse glanced at her watch. "I really have to go now, but I'll get to work on it today. I promise."
"Thanks, Laura. I really appreciate it." Dill told her.
"And so do I." Iona smiled. "After all, I have to travel back with them!"
Laura left, leaving the two of them to try settling Cameron. Eventually, with the aid of some soft words and the continual cuddling and reassurance from his mother, he calmed down enough to sleep.
"I'll leave you in peace, Dylan. It looks to me like you should get Hamish down for a nap. And have one yourself, too." Iona told her. "This pregnancy has been a breeze compared to the last one, but you still need to rest."
"Okay, I get the message." Dill grinned, scooping Hamish up from the floor. "Come on, little guy, mummy wants you to take a nap now. Off you go then." she said to Iona. "Go see if Cooper is about!"
"I'm gone!" Iona laughed, leaving her to see to Hamish.
When McQueen arrived back, his bad mood had been alleviated a little. He found both boys asleep, and Dill stretched out on the double bed in the other room.
"Hey, Dill." he whispered, in case she was asleep.
She opened her eyes. "Are you in a better mood now, or do you want to run away to your quarters and sulk for a while?"
"I don't sulk." he told her from the doorway.
"The hell you don't. Come here to me, flyboy. I'm far too comfy to come over to you." Dill patted the bed next to her. "Come over here to me, my love, and tell me all about it."
With a resigned sigh, he sat down next to her. "Stop it, Dill. I'm not Cameron. You don't need to talk to me like I'm a child".
"We are touchy, aren't we? So come on, what's the matter? The horrible reality of fatherhood getting to you? I'm guessing it's to do with the boys. After all, you took them off for a while and you were in a bad mood when you brought them back. So tell me, what happened?" Dill reached up to stroke his face. "Ty, please? Cameron has been screaming for you since you left. I really can't cope with you in a mood, too."
"Everyone kept looking at me." he said softly, lying down next to her. "In the gym there was a whole crowd watching me with the boys, and on my way back here I kept getting stopped." he sighed. "It was embarrassing. And I feel ashamed that I was embarrassed to be seen with my own children."
"Oh, Ty, what a silly you really are!" Dill chuckled, pulling him to her for a hug. "What is it you think? That no one will respect you anymore because you so obviously love your children?"
At his nod, she smiled. "They'll respect you more, for not being afraid to show that you love them. Honestly, what am I going to do with you, Tyrus McQueen?"
"Well, the boys are asleep. And we're both here, on this lovely roomy bed. I'm sure if you tried, you could think of something." he said suggestively, as his hand began to gently stroke her belly.
"You know what, McQueen?" she giggled, as his hand slipped lower. "I think I've had an idea."
"Good." he said, leaning over to kiss her hungrily.
When they came up for air, Dill giggled. "Come on, flyboy. Let's get naked and do this properly. It's been too long."
"Do I get a repeat performance of your striptease? After all, you were a bit wobbly the first time" he chuckled.
"No, you damn well don't. I'd be wobbly this time too. But anyway I need you far too much to want to waste time messing around." she told him. "Now help me out of these clothes before the boys wake up."
Within minutes Dill was undressed and lying under the covers, watching as McQueen slowly got undressed. "For goodness sake, Ty!" she whimpered. "Just get the damn clothes off and stop fannying around!"
When he finally slid into the bed with her, she sighed. "This feels so damn good - me and you on our own, in a nice comfy bed. Come on, flyboy. Show me just how much you've missed me."
McQueen kissed her gently and slid one hand down her belly to her junction. Grinning as sliding a finger inside, her he found her already wet and ready for him.
"Wow, Dill." he whispered into her neck, as he began dropping soft kisses along her collarbone. " You're making this easy for me."
"That's the effect you have on me, flyboy." she gasped, as he slowly began to thrust his finger inside her. "Just watching you turns me on."
"So, if I do this," he smirked, his finger finding the spot to make her squirm, "it'll make you come?"
"Oh, yes!" Dill gasped, as he did it again. "But I'd much rather have you inside me."
"That can be arranged." he chuckled. "Hands and knees, Dill. Come on."
With a little help, she was on her hands and knees with him behind her, holding her firmly by the hips. "Are you sure about this, Dill?" he asked softly.
"If you don't fuck me, I swear I'm filing for divorce!" she groaned. "Come on, Ty - what are you waiting for, Christmas?"
He needed no further prompting and buried himself in her hot wet centre in one smooth motion, crying out as he did so.
"Are you alright?" Dill asked.
"I'm fine." he gasped. "It's just that you feel so good, Dill."
She laughed. "So do you. So come on and show me what you're made of. None of that slow gentle crap, either. You can be as slow as you like tonight, but right now I want you fucking my brains out till I can't walk."
"I'll be glad to oblige." he told her as she thrust forcefully back onto him.
He started to move slowly at first, and then increased speed as her heard her moans. As he sped up, there came another noise.
"Oh shit!" Dill groaned. "I bloody well told you to hurry up. Now Cameron is awake. You'd better go to him Ty, before he totally loses it."
"Now?" Ty asked in disbelief. "Dill, we're busy here. He can wait a little while, can't he?" Even as he said it, the sound of Cameron's wails became louder, his distress obvious.
"Go on. We'll get back to this later, even if I have to drug the little buggers!" Dill grouched, moving away from him and reaching for her clothes.
"Dill!" he cried.
"Ty, get your priorities right." she snapped. "Cameron needs you, and he needs you now!"
"But I need you now." he moaned, reaching for his boxers.
"Tonight, Ty. We'll finish what we started tonight. But now your baby needs you. Go!"
As he disappeared out of the door, clad only in his boxers, Dill sank back onto the bed. 'Bloody kids!' she thought.
Later that afternoon, after another session in the mess with the boys getting far too much attention for McQueen's liking, and during which several comments were made, much to Dill's amusement, about how like him the boys were, they sat snuggled together as the boys played happily together. Cameron was content, knowing that his father was close.
"I asked in the kitchen if they have any raspberries," he told her, " but they don't. Oranges - that's all they had. Somehow I don't think it'd be the same."
"I don't need raspberries, Ty. Not as long as I have you." Dill told him, stretching herself out and resting her head in his lap. "And I will have you. Tonight mister, you are mine. No interruptions, and no boys waking up__."
"Yeah, right. And how will you fix that?" he asked with a grin.
"I thought we could take them to the gym and see what equipment we could adapt for them to climb on and the like. They're agile little devils now. That assault course in the garden has really helped with their co-ordination. I'm fairly certain that after an hour or two with you and that, a good meal, and a nice shower, they'll sleep like logs, and we can enjoy ourselves."
"Oh please, god, yes." he groaned. "I ache like never before. If I don't get to make love to you tonight, I might just burst."
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" yelled Dill, not moving from his lap as he tried to get up. "Stay there, Ty. You're off duty, and I'm comfy. Whoever it is will just have to lump it."
"I wouldn't dream of asking a woman in your condition to move." Commodore Ross chuckled as he came in. "Better do as she says, Ty. You know what her right hook is like!"
"What do we owe this honour to, Glen?" Dill asked, smiling. "And thank you so much for these quarters. I'd never have believed you had anywhere so comfy."
"I thought I'd come along and see these boys - who, I might add, are the talk of the ship - while they're actually in a good mood, rather than crying." he answered her, settling himself on the room's other sofa. He watched the boys for a moment, each of them content to sit and play with the many toys strewn around the floor. "Hell, Ty, it's true. They really are the image of you. Of course you know, don't you, that you'll be the most popular man on the ship when Dill and the boys leave?"
"Don't tell me that, Glen." McQueen groaned. "I'm dreading it."
"Well, just so long as he flashes that wedding ring!" Dill laughed. "I don't want to have to come all the way out here to hit anyone else"
"Oh yes, I heard about you and Amy." Ross told her. "I'll let you into a little secret. I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw her put Ty down in public. That woman is mistress of the sharp tongue!"
"Glen, don't encourage her, please." McQueen scowled.
"Dammit, Ty! That woman was a first class bitch to you, and you know it." Ross told him.
"It's water under the bridge now. I'm married to Dill, we have the little guys and Isobel, and I don't need to worry about what Amy thinks any more." McQueen told them.
"God, Glen - that woman was awful! I tell you, after shopping with her for an hour, I was ready to kill her. And when she hit Ty, well… she had it coming to her. And if I'd seen him hit the floor, I swear I would have killed her. I certainly wouldn't have pulled my punch, that's for sure." Dill was red in the face, a picture of indignation.
"How does it feel, Ty, to have a woman who actually cares about you?" Ross laughed.
"Stop it, the pair of you." McQueen said. "Amy cared about me. Well, at first, anyway."
"Oh yes?" Ross raised his eyebrows. "And whatever gave you that impression? The fact that she slept with you? Because it was plain to everyone else that she looked on you as her lapdog, ready to jump through whatever hoops she placed in your way."
"The impression I got was that she was the important one in that marriage, Ty. And from the things I've discovered you didn't do, well, frankly, it amazes me." Dill said, looking up at McQueen, who blushed furiously.
Ross's eyebrows rose again. "I don't dare ask!" he chuckled, making McQueen's blush deepen.
"Do you know…" Dill started.
"No, Dill, that's enough. Seriously. I want you to stop." McQueen said quickly.
"I wasn't going to reveal any secrets, Ty. I'll let it go, okay sweetie?" She reached a hand up to stroke his cheek.
"That is exactly what I'm talking about!" Ross exclaimed. "Dylan touches you, Ty. Amy never did. Hell, I know you don't like to be touched, but Dylan just does the tiny things. She touches your arm, or your leg. Nothing overtly sexual, but the whole world can see it as a declaration of her love for you. Amy never touched you, not in public. And damn well not in private like this."
Dill looked up at the red face of the man she loved. "Did she know about your navel?" she asked him softly.
"No." he admitted softly.
"And how long were you married to her?"
"Eighteen months." he said in a low voice.
"Oh, Ty!" she cried. "That tells me everything I need to know about her. I found that out the first night we spent together!"
"Dill, stop it!" he snapped so harshly that boy boys looked up from where they were playing. Cameron's face fell as he took in his father's stern face and the tone of his voice. "Now look what you've done, Dill - Cameron's going to cry again!"
"No he's not, are you, my lover?" she cooed at the toddler. "Come to mummy, baby. Daddy's not cross with you, he's cross with me. I'm a bad, bad mummy!"
"I think that now I've stirred up a hornets nest and started these little lads off crying again, I shall beat a hasty retreat." Ross chuckled, heading for the door.
"Coward!" Dill called after him, laughing.
"Dill, get off me!" McQueen fairly barked at her as Ross closed the door behind himself.
"Ok, ok, hold your horses." she smiled, struggling to sit up.
"Stop it, Dill! Stop laughing at me!" McQueen yelled, jumping to his feet and ignoring the boys who were starting to cry from the fright of him yelling. "Just stop it, ok? I know that my marriage to Amy wasn't what it could have been, but I don't need you rubbing my nose in it! Stop trying to make me look like a fool! So ok, Amy wasn't interested enough in me to do more than the basics to get me going, but so what? You're not Miss Perfect yourself! So what if I never shared a bath with anyone before, or played around with food! So fucking what!" He turned and ran for the door.
"No, Ty! You come back here right now! Or I swear I'll hunt you down and find you wherever you take cover! You are not running away from me again! Not ever, do you hear me?" Dill thundered at him, getting up herself and walking towards him.
"Leave me alone! Don't you touch me!" McQueen yelled back at her, backing against the door.
She stopped dead. "Don't touch you? What the hell do you think I'm going to do to you?" Dill went white. "Oh god, Ty - you think I'm going to hit you?"
He just stood and stared at her, his eyes wide with fear and his body trembling.
"I swore to you that I'd never hit you again. But you look like you're expecting me to beat you! A right hook to the jaw isn't a beating, and you deserved it. Both times." Dill looked at the boys, screaming in terror, unused to hearing their parents shouting at each other.
She knelt down and pulled them both into her arms. Looking up at him, her eyes filled with tears, she told Ty, "Go. If that's what you really want, then go. I won't stop you. I'm not doing this Ty - I'm not staying in a marriage where my husband is scared of me - thinks I'm going to beat him every time we have a row. We'll leave in the morning."
He looked at her, his own eyes filled with tears, and suddenly turned and fled through the door.
For a moment Dill almost let the tears fall. But the boys were far too upset for her to risk upsetting them more. So she took a few deep breaths and began to calm them down. To her immense relief Cameron didn't call for his daddy, but allowed her to cuddle him until he was smiling once again. Hamish, being Hamish, calmed down much quicker, his interest in the toys far outweighing any upset he'd felt.
Once both boys were settled, she collapsed onto the sofa, desperately trying to calm herself down. The baby inside her was kicking away, upset by her mother's distress. "It's okay, Isobel." she whispered, gently stroking her abdomen. "Its okay, baby."
There was a knock at the door. Getting up with a sigh, she opened it to find Nurse Wilson there. "Hi, Laura." Dill said, with a distinct lack of her usual enthusiasm.
"What's up?" the nurse asked, stepping inside.
"Oh, nothing." Dill replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I saw the colonel just now. Well, I say saw him. He nearly knocked me over, he was going so fast." she told Dill. "He looked about as happy as you do. Have a row?"
"You could say that, yes." Dill agreed, sitting down.
"Want to talk about it?"
"No thanks. I have to think first." Dill said softly.
"Well here's something else for you to think about. I managed to get hold of what I wanted. They've promised express delivery, so it should arrive in the next mail call. Which I believe is due next week."
"I'll give you my home address. You can forward it on. We won't be here then. I'm taking the boys home. I've just got to speak to Glen." Dill looked up at Laura's raised eyebrows. "To the commodore." she explained. "So I'm not sure when, but soon. Within the next day or two."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Laura asked, sitting down next to her. "I thought you'd brought Cameron here to help him? Taking him away so soon won't make matters any easier, Dylan."
"I'm sorry, Laura. But you wouldn't understand, even if I told you."
"You need to talk to someone. The colonel, at the very least."
"No doubt Glen will drag it out of me," Dill sighed, "but right now, I really don't feel like talking to anyone. I have to think."
"Okay. But you know where I am if you need to talk."
"Thank you, Laura." Dylan murmured as she watched her leave.
Totally unaware of the other people using them, McQueen flew through the corridors, headed for his own quarters. He needed to think. Had she really meant what she said about not staying in their marriage? And even worse, she was right. He had expected her to hit him. Was he afraid of her? He shook his head. The idea was ridiculous. He knew he wasn't afraid of her. She was right. He had deserved both punches she'd given him. He didn't really understand why he'd reacted the way he had. Hell, he'd practically flinched when she'd taken a step towards him!
Arriving at his quarters, McQueen threw himself on the bed and lay there staring up at the ceiling. How in the hell did it get like this, he wondered? Okay, so Dill and Glen were discussing Amy. He'd never realised how much Glen had disliked her. Thinking about, it he had to admit that Glen had a point. All of the things he'd said were true. Amy had never touched him except when they were having sex. He knew now the difference between sex and making love, and it had been purely sex between him and Amy. He sighed. What he'd shouted at Dill, that she was rubbing his nose in his failed marriage, was unfair. She'd never done any such thing. She was the one who usually didn't want to discuss it. She hadn't laughed at him when he'd admitted that he'd never shared a bath or done anything like her trifle trick… just shaken her head and dismissed the thought from her mind. And now here he was, staring at the ceiling while his wife was talking divorce. This time, he knew, even the green meanies couldn't take the pain away. He sat bolt upright. Hell, where did that come from? He was lying there seriously thinking about taking drugs. Hell, he'd been addicted twice before to meanies. A third time would probably kill him. This was bad. He stood up and began pacing, going over the things Dill had said. It was her choice of words, he realised eventually. 'I swear I'll hunt you down and find you wherever you take cover!' He shivered. Those exact words had been shouted at him when he was in the mines, just before a particularly savage beating. He still bore some of the scars. Ty grimaced. He was going to have to tell her. He knew that she knew more than she'd ever let on, but still he was going to have to tell her why he'd run away again. At least she'll understand, he sighed. Or at least he hoped she would.
Bracing himself, he turned to the door, and flinging it open, forced himself to head back to Dill and the boys. This he needed to sort out before she had a chance to take the little guys and leave. He wasn't going to lose her. He'd fight her if he had to, but he damn well was not going to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him!
Ty decided half way that it might be a good idea to ask Iona to look after the boys while he and Dill talked, so he turned and headed in the direction of Iona's quarters. Knocking, he wasn't at all surprised to find that it was Hawkes who opened the door.
"Is Iona there?" he asked.
At Hawkes' nod, he asked, "Can I come in? I need to speak to her."
"Who is it, Coop?" he heard Iona call from the bathroom.
Hawkes opened the door wider to let him in. "It's the colonel!" he called back to her.
"Iona, I need to ask you to do something for me." Ty asked, aware that he sounded desperate, but not caring.
Iona looked at him as she emerged from the bathroom, searching his face, and seeing the misery on it. "What have you done this time?"
"Dill's talking about divorce." he said despondently. "Will you look after the little guys for me so I can talk to her without upsetting them again, please?"
"Divorce!" Hawkes almost yelled. "Jeez, colonel! You sure know how to piss her off, don't you?"
"Yes, Hawkes, I do." Ty whispered, staring at Iona, letting her see the misery in his eyes. "Please, Iona, will you do this for me? I can't lose her."
"Of course I will, TC." she cried, stepping towards him and hugging him. "Go on. We'll be along in a minute, won't we, Coop?"
"Yeah, I guess." Hawkes scowled, not liking the sight of his girl hugging the colonel.
"Thanks, Iona. I owe you big time." McQueen told her, pulling away from her hug and leaving them alone.
"Why'd you hug him?" Hawkes demanded.
"Because he needed a hug. He's desperately frightened that she'll divorce him."
"Will she?" Hawkes asked, worried now. The colonel and Dylan were perfect together, as far as he could see.
"No. She loves him far too much. But she might well take the boys home and let him stew for a bit." She hugged Hawkes now. "Come on, Coop. Let's get ourselves sorted and save the pair of them some heartache!"
"Okay." he grinned, kissing her.
McQueen stood outside the door to Dill's quarters, breathing deeply, trying to centre himself to prepare for whatever might follow. He opened the door and stepped in to an empty room. Ty looked around, but there was no sign of Dill or the boys. No toys on the floor or anywhere. His heart leapt in his chest. What if she'd left already? He was about to leave, to run and see if any transports were due to leave, when Cameron toddled out from the bathroom and gave him a huge smile.
Ty stepped over to the boy, and kneeling, took him in his arms. "Oh god, Cameron," he whispered, "I thought mommy had taken you and gone!"
"No, Ty, not yet. I wouldn't just take them. I'd let you say goodbye. I may be a vicious monster who beats her husband, but I'm not so bad that I won't let him say goodbye to his children." Dill stood in the doorway, Hamish in her arms.
Letting go of Cameron, he stood up. "We need to talk, and we need to do it now. I've asked Iona to come and see after the boys. We can go to my quarters. I need to explain some things."
"Are you sure you want to be alone with me? After all, I might hit you." Dill said in a very low voice that did nothing to hide her anger.
"Dill, please… I don't want you to go. I love you. I need to tell you some things. Please, Dill?" he pleaded. "I don't think you're going to hit me. I need to explain, and I don't want to do it with the boys around. Dill? Please?"
She nodded, relief flooding through her as she saw that he truly meant it. "Okay. As soon as Iona is here, we'll go."
Ty took a step towards her, reaching out, but stopped as she stepped back. "Dill?"
"Don't, Ty. I mean it. Just don't. Let's talk and we'll see."
There was a resounding crash on the door, making them both jump. Opening it, Ty found Hawkes standing guiltily as Iona stood behind him, grinning.
"Sorry, TC!" Iona laughed. "I tripped him up. So come on, let me at my favourite cuties. Is it ok if we take them to visit with Vanessa and Shane?" she asked, scooping up Cameron. "Hello, baby! Want to come visit the girls? They're just about ready to spoil you rotten!"
"It's okay, Iona. Feel free to take them. I just changed them, but there are more nappies in their bag. Emergency rations too, if they get ratty. And a few toys." Dill handed the bag to Hawkes.
"Are you ok, sir?" Hawkes asked. "You look kinda like hell."
"Coop!" Iona chided him. "We'll just take the boys and go. A couple of hours be enough?"
"Yes. Thank you, Iona." McQueen told her quietly.
"Here," Iona said to Hawkes, "take Cameron, and I'll get squidgey here." She bent to pick up Hamish. "Come on then, guys. Wagons roll!"
McQueen opened the door for them, closing it and turning to face Dill as they left. Cameron chuckled as Hawkes 'flew' him down the corridor.
Ty drew a deep breath. "You better sit down, Dill. If I'm going to tell you this, I need you to listen. Don't interrupt me, or I may not be able to finish. If you have anything you want to say, say it now or wait till I finish, please?" He ran both hands through his hair.
"Alright." Dill answered quietly. She sat down, but watched him carefully as he paced the room, unable to stay in one place for more than a second or two. He never paced like this. This was something that had him either more nervous than she'd ever seen him, or, she realised as she saw the look in his eyes, deeply afraid. What could he possibly have to say that terrified him so deeply?
"You remember I told you I was in the mines? And that it was bad there?" McQueen looked at Dill quickly. At her nod, he hurried on. "For you to understand, I'm going to have to give you some idea of just how bad it was." He tried to take a deep breath, but could only breathe shallowly, too keyed up to do more. Shaking his head, he forced himself to continue. "Well, all the time I was there, there was this guy, an overseer. His name was…" Ty shuddered at the memory, "his name was Yardley. Mister Yardley, we had to call him. I arrived there when I was two weeks old, and within a day I found out what a sadistic bastard he was. He would look around for a victim. He'd pick someone he liked the look of, and he'd bully them mercilessly." Ty began twisting his hands. "When I say bully I mean he'd trip them when they were carrying heavy tools or equipment. Or he'd 'forget' to send them for a break. Well, we only got two breaks a day anyway. Just long enough to take a leak and get a drink. But he'd keep them working all day. When he'd made sure they were exhausted, he'd use his whip on them, just to keep them moving. Lashing at your feet and legs to make you move. If you stopped for a moment, he was there, always with the whip."
Dill noted the way he'd paled, and he'd gone from saying 'they' to 'you'. She realised that he had been on the receiving end of this man's whip. She looked up at him as he passed her by for the fifth time, desperately wringing his hands together.
"Once you fell, that was it. He'd be on you like… well, he'd be there with that whip of his. And if you couldn't get up, and he made damn sure you couldn't, he'd get two of his cronies to pick you up and drag you to his 'office'. That's what he called it, his office. But it was just a large cave for equipment storage. Once he got you there..." Ty paused, coming to a standstill. "I need a drink, Dill. I can't do this…" he told her hoarsely, fear in his eyes.
"You can do it, Ty." she told him softly, fighting to keep the fear his words and actions were causing her from her voice. "It's me you're telling. I won't judge you - I won't blame you for whatever happened in the past. I love you. You, Tyrus Cassius McQueen. I love you. And so do your children, all three of them. Take a deep breath. You can do this. Just tell me what you need to."
He nodded jerkily. "Okay. I'll try." He managed a few deep breaths and carried on, rooted to the spot. "Once he got you in his office, he could do whatever he wanted. Most of the other overseers wanted sex - either for you to do them, or for them to use you however they saw fit. Mister Yardley, though, he just wanted to hurt you. Hell, he loved to hurt you. He'd tie you to a storage container and burn you, just to hear you scream. Or he'd use an electric prod on you, anywhere he liked - preferably internally." McQueen looked away from her, unable to face the horror in her eyes. "I told everyone I couldn't have kids because of a war wound, but it was him I'm sure. He'd poke that prod until you passed out. He loved it if you did so screaming, and definitely in agony. Once he had you in that state, he'd start kicking you. He just loved to wear these great big steel toed boots." Ty looked down at his own boots. "He'd keep kicking you until you stopped moving. Then he'd drag you up and call his cronies in to beat you. What he liked best was to have you running, as if you could! So that he could chase you down, tie a rope around you and drag you back on your back or stomach. Then he could justify beating you senseless. He'd hit you and hit you, listening for the sound of breaking bones. One at a time, he'd break your ribs or he'd pound on your bound hands until bones broke and you wouldn't be able to hold your tools. Either way, you couldn't do your work. That way he could beat you again!"
The memories had him locked into place, unable to escape, shudders coursing through his body. The loathing and sheer unadulterated terror in his voice made Dill want to reach out to him, pull him to her to comfort him, but she knew if she touched him physically, he would shatter. An "Oh my God, Ty." escaped her, but he didn't hear her, too deeply buried in the memories.
"He'd pick out a victim, grinning, enjoying the fear - feeding off it. Then one day, he picked me, again. I don't know why, but for the first time in my short miserable life, I fought back. Somehow I managed to break his nose, and kick him in the gut. I broke free and I ran. I ran for my life. He screamed after me, 'I swear I'll hunt you down and find you wherever you take cover!' He found me, him and two of his cronies. I fought, but I didn't stand a chance." His voice dropped lower and lower as he continued. "They beat me where they found me and once I couldn't fight back, they bound my hands behind me and dragged me by my ankles back to his office."
His voice was so low she could barely hear him. Dill sat forward, straining to hear, knowing she had to know it all. Her heart broke for the man before her, laying bare a memory that tortured him still.
"The others, they told me I was in his office for three shifts. All I know was not even the AIs worked me over like he did. He beat me and beat me - broke my bones - used that damn prod like he'd never done before, until I lost consciousness. Then he'd bring me around and do it some more. I screamed and begged, swearing I'd do anything he wanted if he'd just stop. He'd just stand there, my blood on his hands and start in on me again. He didn't stop until I stopped responding to the pain - when jabbing me with the prod only made me twitch. It wasn't fun for him anymore. I don't know how," Ty shook his head, "but I managed to live through it."
To Dill's horror, Ty crumpled, sinking to the floor, arms wrapped about his knees, head buried, and rocked back and forth, shaking so hard she thought he'd break something. She reached out to him, gently touching his arm. He jerked away violently, as if her touch were a flame. "Ty, it's me. Dill."
She knelt beside him and put a hand firmly on his shaking shoulder. She used her other hand to lift his head. Tears ran down his cheeks and he stared past her, locked in his private hell.
The pain and anguish in his eyes tore at her. "What happened, Ty?" she whispered.
"For a while, I was his whipping dog. He loved watching me flinch whenever he raised his hand. He'd beat me just for the fun of it. Then I started resisting him. Finally I fought back again. He beat me like the first time. Two more times I fought him… each time he left me in worse shape than before." Ty stopped talking for a long moment, and when he spoke again, his body was racked by soft sobs. "He hospitalised me each time. Broken ribs… arms… feet. Skin almost flayed off me. Unable to speak because my jaw was broken. Burns over most of my body. My eyes swollen closed. He even fractured my skull for me. I wasn't even a year out of the tank. "
Dill's arms slowly crept around him, holding him closely. But not as tightly as she'd have liked, aware that Ty was still there, still seeing this terrible man in his mind. She thought she'd never want to hurt anyone more than she'd wanted to hurt Amy for knocking him out, but this time - well, this time she knew she'd like to hunt the bastard down and make him pay for what he'd done to Ty. Pay painfully and slowly. The thought shocked her. She wasn't a vindictive person, but she could quite happily have spent a long time hurting this Yardley and dancing on his grave afterwards.
She was brought back from her thoughts when she realised that he had leaned into her arms. Dill pulled him as close as she could, one hand gently stroking his hair, they way she did when she was comforting the boys. "It's alright, my lover." she soothed. "He can't hurt you now. It's over and you're still here. You survived, and now you have us. You have me and Hamish and Cameron. Look how he loves you, Ty. And Isobel - you have Isobel. She's waiting patiently to say hello to her daddy. You have all of us, Ty. Glen - he loves you too. And Rhonda does. The 58th adore you. You have so many people who love you, who would never let him hurt you again."
Dill stood up, pulling him with her. "Come on, my lover, you need to rest." She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Ty followed silently, sitting down on the edge of the bed as she knelt to undo his boots. She undressed him to his boxers and put him to bed, climbing in behind him herself and holding him close. "Sleep, Ty. I'm here. I'll stay with you, and I'll hold you. I'll keep you safe. No one will ever hurt you again, not without answering to me. I dealt with Amy, didn't I?" She felt, rather than heard, the soft chuckle. "See? No one hurts my baby and gets away with it!" she whispered into his neck.
Dill could feel him starting to relax. As he did so, she ran a hand up and down his body, gently kneading the tense muscles, all the while whispering nonsense to him until he slept soundly. She sat up and looked at him. His face had lost all its tension, and he looked very much as she imagined he would have done when he was fresh from the tank. The thought brought her anger to the fore. How did anyone justify such treatment of another human being? She was well aware of how the whole invitro development had begun. Of how it had been claimed that as genetically engineered beings they weren't actually people in their own right, and were the property of Aerotech, to do with as they pleased.
Again she looked at the sleeping man. How dare anyone tell her he wasn't human, that he was someone's property. She had never met anyone like him, and found herself wondering if he had family out there somewhere - brothers and sisters from the same gene pool. If he had, what would they be like? Dill knew they'd look like him, but what horrors would have happened to them? Would they have similar personalities? The same dry, wicked sense of humour? Would she like them? Sighing to herself, she snuggled down against him and just revelled in the soft contented sighs he made as he slept.
Her mind went over the whole incident, from her and Glen talking about Amy to the way he'd told her not to touch him when she'd told him she would find him wherever he hid. Her eyes widened in shock. She'd used the very same words to him that that awful bastard had! No wonder he'd reacted the way he had, had turned and fled from her… he'd been waiting for the beating he was sure was coming. Dill sighed. And he was already painfully aware of the fact that she could and would hit him. Burying her head in his shoulder, she felt her own tears falling as she realised that her hitting him had only made it worse for him. Ok, so it'd had only been twice. But twice was two times too often.
"I'm so sorry, Ty." Dill whispered. "I let my temper get the better of me sometimes. I'll do my best never to hit you again. I can't promise that I won't, but I'll try. I don't do it to hurt you. You know that, don't you? It's my temper. You push me so far, like you did at the beach, and I let fly. But I'd never hit you, my love, not ever - not ever, ever, ever just to hurt you. I'd fight to the death to protect you, that's how much you mean to me. Hell, I'd take on a whole squad of Chigs if I had to. But I'd never deliberately hurt you, not just for the fun of it." She kissed his shoulder. "Oh, Ty, how can I let you know that I mean it? I won't blame you if you never trust me again. It broke my heart when you flinched away from me, and I never dreamt that you'd think I wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry. How can I make it up to you?"
"It's alright, Dill." Ty murmured, rolling over to face her.
"I thought you were asleep!" she said softly.
"I was, but you were talking in my ear." he smiled. "Dill, I know you wouldn't hurt me like he did. I know I deserved the right hooks you gave me. It was the words. It was what you said to me. Suddenly I was there, and it wasn't you I saw coming towards me. It was him. I had to get away. I had to hide. I know you try to control your temper. I drive you to distraction. I know. And Glen has said too many times he'd like to knock some sense into my head."
"But he doesn't actually hit you." Dill said, her voice low. "I do. I'm so horrible to you, Ty. Why ever do you love me? Look what I did to you today!"
"Dill, you've hit me twice in what - 4 years? That hardly counts as a regular beating, does it?" he reasoned, and this time he was hugging her to him. "You know, I feel much better now I've told you that. I never told anyone before. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
"Maybe you'll sleep better. The nightmares might ease off a bit. Or, no doubt, it'll be me in them instead." she muttered despondently.
"No, Dill. You think I can't tell the difference between you being in a temper and letting fly, and wanting to hurt me just for the sake of it? You have never done that, Dill. Not once. And I know I've provoked you enough. You promised me before the boys were born that you'd never hit me again. I know you'll try to keep that promise, but I'll never hold it against you if you do, because I'll have provoked you into it, in my usual pig headed, stupid tank way."
"You are not a stupid tank! Don't say that, Ty. I hate it when you say things like that."
"Yes I am, Dill. I keep hurting you. Yet you don't turn me away. You won't let go of me. Even today, when you said you'd divorce me, you still wouldn't go without letting me see the boys first. You don't have a vicious bone in your body. I know that. That's one reason why I love you so much. I've done far more to you than you have to me. It amazes me that you still trust me."
"Of course I trust you! How can you say that? I knew you were upset… that you didn't know how to deal with your feelings. I just needed you to see that yourself. But I never doubted for a moment that you loved me."
"That's how I feel, Dill. Yes, you hit me. But it was because you were so angry you didn't know how to do anything else. I made you that angry, and I knew you loved me. If you didn't love me, you wouldn't have cared enough to hit me." he told her.
"What are we going to do?" Dill sighed.
"We're going to carry on like we always have. I'll love you and you'll love me, and we'll both love the children. We'll fight, make love, and maybe make more babies, but most of all, we'll be there for each other. Maybe not physically together, but each of us knowing that the other is out there, loving them. Come here and let me kiss you." Ty pulled her in for a kiss, ready to show her how much he loved her.
Having collected the boys from the Wildcards quarters, Dill and Ty had taken them to the mess for dinner where Ty had had a quick word with the kitchen staff, before bringing the two exhausted toddlers back to their quarters. Dill had kept Hamish occupied while Ty showered with Cameron, and then they'd swapped boys so that Dill could settle Cameron into bed while Ty showered with Hamish.
Emerging from the boys' bedroom, having finally got Hamish to sleep, Dill found Ty still naked from the shower. He walked over to stand behind her.
"Hands up." he told her.
She lifted her arms as he slowly pulled the tunic she was wearing over her head. Throwing it to the floor, he began kissing the back of her neck, her shoulders and down her spine as he removed her bra and began to knead her breasts, his fingers gently pinching and rolling her nipples. Once he had kissed his way to the base of her spine, he moved to kneel in front of her.
"Nothing to undo." he whispered, slowly pulling her elasticated pants down her legs, taking her underwear with them. He kissed her swollen belly, his tongue tracing around her navel. "It's a sticky out one now, Dill." he smiled, kissing it gently. He looked up at her, seeing her eyes darkened with desire. "I love you, Dill McQueen."
Dill moaned softly as his hands slid down her legs, gently lifting first one then the other, to remove her clothing. With a final kiss to her belly, he stood.
"Come on. Time for your shower now." He took her hand and led her into the bathroom.
With the water running over her, he took a handful of liquid soap and began to wash her back. Slowly he massaged the soap into her, his hands sliding over her wet flesh easily, slipping around to her front as he soaped her breasts and stomach. Kneeling to soap her thighs, her buttocks and her legs, he avoided for the moment the one place she wanted to feel his hands. He gently pushed her under the water, rinsing her thoroughly. Turning her around to face him, she felt his kisses, soft and gentle, on her thighs. His hands gently pushing her legs apart, holding her as he buried his face in her moist core, his tongue inside her thrust, sucked, and nibbled on her clit, making her moan as she held onto him. He held her there, writhing and squirming under his touch, as he brought her to orgasm twice before finally standing, wrapping her in a towel and carrying her back into the main room.
"Dear god, Ty." Dill groaned as he laid her down on a sofa. "I was ready to collapse there."
"I know." he smiled. "Feeling better?"
She nodded. "Oh, yes. Definitely. Though I'm absolutely famished. We should have eaten with the boys."
"I took care of that." Ty told her, gently drying her. "The kitchen is going to deliver us dinner here." At her raised eyebrows, he grinned. "I promised them a bottle of scotch, which I just happen to have in my footlocker."
"I'll send you more." she giggled. "What initiative you show, Colonel. They really should promote you. Or do they need the promise of a bottle of whiskey, too?"
"Be quiet, woman." McQueen muttered, kissing her soundly, breaking the kiss as her stomach growled loudly. "You can be quiet, too." he laughed, kissing her belly. "The food should be here soon, so I guess we'd better put something on."
"Damn." Dill smirked. "I just love watching your sexy behind." With his help, she pulled herself upright and disappeared into the bedroom, coming back wearing what he recognised as one of his shirts. She threw a t-shirt and some boxers at him. "Better put those on. I don't want you showing the world all your assets."
"That's my shirt, Dill." Ty said, pulling the t-shirt over his head. "I wondered where that'd disappeared to."
"I held onto it last time you were home. I sleep in it. It still smells like you." she grinned, twirling in it.
"It doesn't hide much." he frowned, pulling on his boxers. "Better let me open the door. After all, I can't have everyone seeing your assets, can I?"
"It fitted better before I got so big." Dill chuckled. "You just have to stop getting me pregnant, Ty. I mean, you're the one who was afraid you wouldn't be able to love any more babies. Hell, you were the one who told me you could never get me pregnant! Just look at me now."
Ty grabbed her, kissing her neck. "She's going to look like you, and I'm going to love her just like I love you and the little guys."
There was a knock at the door. Dill sat herself down and tried to look presentable as he opened the door, hiding behind it and peering out. Outside stood a young corporal with a trolley.
"Colonel McQueen?" he asked nervously. At McQueen's nod, he pushed the trolley inside, trying desperately not to look too closely at Dill. But he still jumped when he saw Ty standing there in just a t-shirt and boxers. This was not the Colonel McQueen he was used to seeing. "Err, Colonel? Chef said he hopes it's ok. It was the best he could do."
"I'm sure it'll be fine. Thank you, Corporal." McQueen said sternly. "Now if you'll excuse us, my wife needs to eat."
"Yes, sir." the poor lad said and fled through the door.
"I think we scared him." Dill laughed.
"It was you, flashing your chest at him!" Ty grinned.
"I was not flashing my chest! I think it was the shock of seeing you in your underwear. I expect everyone thinks you were born in that flight suit." Dill laughed. "Now feed me, before I start seeing a roasted chicken every time I look at you!"
"Yes, ma'am." he chuckled. "And would you like me to cut it up and pop bite sized pieces into your mouth while you recline on the sofa?"
"You silly! That's peeled grapes!" she giggled. "But it sounds like a good idea to me. Come, slave! Feed me!"
"Whatever you say." Ty smiled, dropping to his knees and crawling over to her. "Your wish is my command."
"Then get up, you fool, and help me up. Let's eat - I'm starving. I think this daughter of yours is determined to be born fully grown like her father. She certainly makes me eat enough for about 10 people."
Ty held out his hand to pull her up, and pulled her to him for a hug. "Even though you are a real bossy boots, I love you, Dill."
"Well, I love you too, even though you're such a silly arse." Dill smiled. "Your kids would never believe it if they could see you so relaxed. I think even Glen would get a surprise. Mind you, I'm not complaining. I love you however you behave."
"Even when I behave like a stupid tank? Like today?" he said quietly.
Dill looked into his eyes. "Even when you behave as you did today, Ty. After all, you had reason to. I forget sometimes the baggage you carry around with you. Now if we can just get you to let go of a little more of it." She saw the fear in his eyes. "When you're ready, my love, and not before. I won't push. I fell in love with the whole you, baggage as well, remember?"
"I remember." he whispered.
"Good. Now let's eat, because I could eat a horse and his jockey too!" She kissed him quickly and sat herself down at the table, thinking that she really would have to thank Glen for moving them into these quarters.
They sat and ate, talking and laughing. Dill was pleased to see him so relaxed. She'd been seriously worried earlier that he might clam up and refuse to speak to her. But it was as he'd said, as if a huge weight had been lifted from him. Dill smiled fondly at him as he told her about some aspect of the 58th's training. She wasn't really listening, just watching him as he waved his fork around to illustrate his point. She watched the way his eyes sparkled, how his whole face lit up, and the way he smiled almost constantly, and all she could think was how lucky she was to have found him, how much she loved him, and how glad she was to be having his babies. Dill sighed contentedly, and carried on eating her food.
Next : Part Four
Previous : Part Two
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