Disclaimer: The concept of and all characters from Space: Above and Beyond belong to Glen Morgan and James Wong, Fox Broadcasting and Hard Eight Productions. I'm just borrowing them. No money was made from this, and this was done totally for fun.
Feedback: Any and all comments are welcome.


In the bright light of a rocket, his world had changed. He'd thought he found a way to right that, but it seemed the world wasn't done changing. His life would never be the same. No one's would. And Nathan bolted.

He ran. He need to look up into the sky, he needed to have faith, he needed her. He needed the world to stop spinning. He stumbled out the door and into the alley, nearly falling to the ground. And in that moment everything came crashing in around him, suffocatingly so. His hand squeezed the photo tag around his neck, her voice called to him--from the tag, from far away.

He never noticed the tears that ran down his face or the people that watched from the door; and they would never mention it to him. He looked into the dark night sky with its so bright stars and made a promise he would never be able to break. "I will find you," he whispered softly. "No matter what it takes. I will find you."

Nathan sat on his bunk, everyone was asleep--peacefully or not. He watched them all. He could have cost his friends their lives, again. And, it was the again that was bothering him more and more. They would help him keep his promise because he believed in it, in her, more than anything. But was that fair to any of them, with every step he made in fulfilling it he hurt someone else. His mistakes could get them all killed and then where would his promise be?

He could see the badges on Hawkes' arm as the other marine moved in his sleep, the bruise on Shane's face, and more as he watched them all sleep. The injuries caused in his last fool-hearted attempt. But never again. This was it. This last time had scared him, made him realise that there was more than one path, and he needed to get back on the right one. He needed their strength as much as they needed his faith. He would find her, but not through some stupid stunt that would shatter his world even more. Or even destroy it altogether.

Nathan shifted quietly until he laid on his bunk, but took one more look around before closing his eyes to sleep. And a new promise was whispered into the dark. "I need you all."

- end -

© Susan September 2004