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The energy of Amy's feelings of the day before; feelings of confusion and a
bit of jealousy, had been transformed in the course of last night's
discussion with her cousin. Amy found that she was developing a fiercely
protective attitude towards Kylen. It seemed to her that the younger woman
had been used and manipulated enough as it was. Amy had nightmares herself
after hearing only part of Kylen's story. Nightmares about both Kylen and Ty.
It was true that Amy felt afraid that Ty had finally met with a problem that
he couldn't match; that his incredible will might not be up to the task. And
it was also true that his reaction to Kylen had been remarkable. Maybe even
hopeful. But it had seemed almost cruel to Amy for Dale to ask Kylen to
leave her family and her own recovery to work with McQueen's rehabilitation.
Again, Frank Celina's letter was the only thing that had saved Dale's skin
last night. She was still mildly irritated with both men when she was called
into Dale's office first thing in the morning to meet with him and Ty. They
presented her with the problem of Kylen's late night wanderings.
Steinbeck's solution to the problem was like all of his research: simple,
elegant and intuitive. Kylen should just stay at the house with Amy and
himself. Amy, to McQueen's horror, thought the 'Steinbeck Solution' was a
good one. She didn't mind. It would be interesting. It might even be fun.
Amy was curious to get to know Kylen.
As McQueen had anticipated there was, however, a mini-scene, but it had not
been the one he had expected. Amy had, indeed, let him and Steinbeck have it
with both barrels but her target was not Kylen sneaking into the Clinic; it
was the general stupidity of men. How could two allegedly grown men not have
anticipated this type of problem? How could they have sent an emotionally
wounded "child" into an unfamiliar and empty house to sleep all alone? It
was the absolute definition of obtuse.
McQueen thought that is was a grave mistake to think of Kylen as a "child"
(even though it was a mistake that he had made more than once himself), but
he had the presence of mind not to voice his opinions on that score. He was
already filled with dread in anticipating the workout that Amy would put him
through that day.
It was Dale, however, - Dale, who thought up the whole thing to begin
with-Dale Steinbeck of the terrific ideas - It was Dale that managed, on
second thought, to float a balloon of what McQueen could only loosely call
sanity.
"It may perhaps be wise to run all this by Kylen. It is, after all, her life.
If I were her I'd be pretty sick of everybody else taking charge."
"Thank you," McQueen spoke heavy with irony.
They had finished the discussion and Dale opened the door to his office only
to find Kylen pacing back and forth in his waiting room. She had the
distinct look of a deer caught in the headlights.
"I have to go. I think I have to leave. I have to say good-bye," she
fumbled for the words.
McQueen was about to relax - problem solved - when he wheeled himself around
and caught the look on her face. Why do I think that this isn't good news?
"I called my father. They want me to go to Washington tomorrow."
"Why?" McQueen jumped on the implication.
"I don't know. They want Martin, too, Colonel. They said I can bring family
with me. Do you think it is okay to go? Can I say no to this?"
"What did I tell you, Kylen?" he asked. The two were once again oblivious to
Amy and Dale.
"Watch the details, look for patterns and analyze the relationships," she
recited immediately, without hesitation.
"Who is 'They'?" McQueen pressed.
"Major Howard and General Radford. It's not Aerotech. At least not openly."
"This is like a bad movie," Amy interjected as she moved to Kylen's side.
"They just let her go home and now they want her to go to Washington? She is
a civilian. Ty, this can't be real. They can't make her go if she doesn't
want to, can they?"
"Amy, Do you know the difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to
make sense." McQueen said. "Under the heading of 'Global Security' - Let's
just say they have a very broad discretionary range." No matter how fond
Howard professes to be of Kylen he isn't above locking her away - locking any
of the survivors - in a mental ward if he thinks they are a security risk.
Somehow Kylen understands this. Geez, look at her face. Kylen was now
gripping Amy's hand but it was him she was looking to for comfort. For
strength. For answers.
"Kylen. Think," he ordered. "What poses them the least security risk right
now?"
"My cooperation."
"There you go. Take a deep breath. You have twenty four hours before you
even have to leave for D.C. Settle down. Lets have breakfast and we'll talk
before you leave for home."
"Look, I'll give you guys my office," Steinbeck finally spoke. He really
didn't understand the implications of what had just passed between McQueen
and Kylen but it was obviously serious.
Amy put a sisterly arm around Kylen's shoulders. "Lets go get you calmed
down and your hair dried. Then we'll bring some trays in here and you two
can talk. Ty, you've got the morning off. We'll make up for it in the Gym
after lunch."
Kylen and McQueen were sitting at a table in Steinbeck's office. Kylen's
hair was now dry and breakfast had been served. She would be leaving before
too long.
"Kylen, you have to be circumspect. It doesn't all always have to spell
danger. You have to develop filters," McQueen reasoned with her. Kylen
looked at him; questioning his choice of words. He continued. " You have to
judge what they say. Put it all through a filter in your head."
She smirked in recognition. " My Dad talks about giving things the 'Smell
Test.'"
"That's close enough. Don't give them any reason to think that you may be a
loose cannon," he said.
"Dignity. Don't whine?" She smiled, relaxing. It all doesn't all have to
spell danger does it ?
"Close enough," McQueen repeated. " Add to that: 'don't go around half
cocked' and you should do OK."
"What is strange, McQueen, or at least interesting? It's what people don't
say. What they don't ask. Dad didn't say anything about the Spooks wanting
to see me."
"Maybe they have conceded you."
"You make me sound like a chess piece."
McQueen did not open his mouth. He didn't want to have to tell her that she
probably was just a piece in the game. Right now she has value but just as
quickly they would be willing sacrifice her. It is a very big game and the
stakes are incredibly high. InVitros were expendable. Marines are each
part of a greater whole. This was not Kylen's view. A cog in the machine?
It wasn't what she expected from life.
McQueen gave voice to thoughts he only partially believed. "You said they
wanted to see Martin. Maybe they want you there to give him support. "
or as a Judas goat. It's equally likely. God, why am I trying to deal with
this mess?
He spoke again. "Kylen get this done and then leave them behind. Don't
waste your time on things that you can't control. Go home. Go someplace -
any place - where you can start to rebuild your dreams."
"You know, Colonel, when Nathan and I were separated, I was the one who said
it. "Maybe we have to find a different dream," Kylen paused. "They helped to
keep me alive. My dreams. Not my sleeping dreams but the dreams of my
spirit. My dreams of life beyond the mines. I know that they helped keep me
sane. Nothing is a real as a dream," she said to herself.
"Well, Kylen. Don't let them disturb your dreams whether you are asleep or
awake." He realized that she had turned from her private thought and was now
looking at him with an expression of mild disgust.
"I didn't say that it was easy, Kylen. I said it was what I thought you
should try to do."
"Form not function - or - function not form?" she questioned. "Believe it or
not, I think I get it. The same dream only different."
"Close enough." McQueen said to himself.
"How do you do it? Keep going. What is your dream? What do you live for,
Six?"
McQueen felt a shiver run down his spine. Kylen used the diminutive she had
culled from his call sign. For reasons not understood by the man himself,
McQueen had accepted the term. It only dimly registered in his mind and it
was, after all, better than Big Bird. But it wasn't the use of the nickname
that had chilled McQueen. It was her questions.
McQueen attempted to read her expression. It was absolutely open and without
guile. As challenging as the question may have been, Kylen wasn't issuing a
challenge. She was just asking a question. An important question. But asked
with an ease and grace which told McQueen that she had grown up in a home
where such questions were discussed over meals. A home in which people's
dreams were to be shared and enjoyed. People in Kylen's life had spent time
and energy on each others dreams. Kylen had gone to the stars and her family
had taken the ride.
McQueen appreciated the irony. The Staff Sergeant - the Heavy Hat in Basic
way back when had asked McQueen and McQueen, in turn, had asked Hawkes: "What
would you die for?" I could have answered that in a heartbeat. He had a
list. He knew with absolute clarity what he would die for. But that isn't
what Kylen had asked.
Amy had asked him what his ambitions were; had asked too many times what he
intended to do with his life. And in fairness she had helped a great deal in
the attainment of his educational goals. But they had been goals. And Kylen
hadn't asked about goals either.
"Something better." It was the only thing that McQueen could think of to say
at that moment. The answer was a cop out and they both knew it.
Kylen poured him more coffee. She didn't quite understand his discomfort.
Kylen wasn't sorry that she had asked the question, but she was a little
surprised at his reluctance to answer. She knew when to let sleeping dogs
lie. In any case, it was time to hit the road.
Next : Chapter Seventeen
Previous : Chapter Fifteen
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