Rated PG, mild language and situations

The characters and situations of "Space: Above and Beyond" depicted in this story are legal property of Glen Morgan and James Wong, Hard Eight Productions, and 20th Century Fox Television, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. Any other characters other than the ones that Mr.'s Wong and Morgan have created, which are depicted in this story, are my creations, and may not be used without my permission.

This is my first piece of fan fiction, please be kind (lol) if you have any comments: phsyco_58@hotmail.com

This story takes place some time after the season finale…

The Day He Decided


Daydream Believer

019232 Earth side
Tuesday, May 4, 2065.
1800 hours

Captain Nathan West sat in the briefing room finishing off his after mission report, while the rest of the 58th packed for a two week shore leave, as the Saratoga was returning to earth side for an upgrade in systems, and on the hammerheads. After the faithful demise of operation homeward bound, West never relinquished his guilt for leaving the others behind. Although he did the right thing by saving the colonists, and Vansen, Wang and Damphousse, who were eventually found, the 58th were never really the same squadron again. It had taken Vansen and Damphousse over a year in rehab and in retraining, to continue on with their careers. But they were never the same, especially Vansen. All of their physical wounds had heal, and any scaring was of course removed, relieving them of any physical evidence of planet 2063 Yankee, but the aspect of their psychological traumas were permanently damaged, especially Vansen's, who'd basically alienated herself from the rest of the squad. Damphousse was back to her normal clear-eyed self, and kept herself busy with an engineering program she enlisted into on the Saratoga, and as well as the missions she and her squad mates were given. Wang however wasn't as lucky as he went into a coma during his surgery for his severe injuries and ended up in a New York naval hospital, with the uncertainty of ever waking up again.

Colonel McQueen jogged through the corridor, with his new leg. He was temporarily placed with an artificial robotic leg, but an opportunity came up when a recent new technology was developed which artificially reproduced human organs, limbs, and as well as removed scaring and ligatures, and hence McQueen was placed for the reproduction of a new leg. McQueen was glad to have his kids together again, after the classified report on their actions on anvil. Apparently Aerotech had been investigated about their knowledge about the alien's existence. Although a part of the puzzle pointed a finger at Aerotech, there still wasn't enough incriminating evidence for Aerotech to be blamed. Suspiciously the brass destroyed any evidence and swore the parties that were involved to secrecy, meaning the 58th, and hence the first operation of anvil never existed. The 58th were of course relieved that they wouldn't be court marital, and drummed out of the corps, but were prevented from ever knowing why they were so lucky. McQueen had noticed a change in the 58th. They were still one of the best squadrons in the fleet, but the unique bond between them had broken. Things got worse as West was promoted and succeeded Vansen as the temporary honcho during her absence, and the newbies had already gotten too attached and use to West as a leader. Nathan often tried to talk to Shane, but along with her adjusting to the changes of her life, she just didn't think that she'd lose her place as the stability of the squadron, the one everyone came to talk too, but that changed during her time at the POW camp, they had broken through to her. Even though she remained honcho afterwards, the bitterness caused her to distant herself from everyone, especially West.

"Everyone packed yet?" Nathan asked as he walked in their quarters.

"Yeah almost" Hawkes replied.

"So where are you going, Hawkes?" Vanessa asked.

"I'm going with Vansen, we're goin' to stay with her sister for a few days and then go visit Paul, you?

"Where else, home. It'll be good to see everyone again."

"You know, you should go and visit Paul" Vansen stated flatly.

"Hey, I heard the colonists have just finished rehab - Kylen's going to be there right?" Vanessa asked to break the tension.

"Yes she is, it's been a long time, and I mean I haven't talked to her since, but you know how hard it is emailing back and forth these days, with satellite interference and everything" he said nervously.

West walked over to his locker and began packing. Though not admitting to it, West had emailed Kylen every opportunity he had, but somehow she seem different. He couldn't blame her though, they both had changed, and were no longer the idealistic individuals they were so long ago. By the time Nathan had found his packing bag, the others were finished, and had left the room - everyone but Shane. The awkwardness was a little more than Shane could take, so she discontinued her packing and began to leave.


"West?" she asked in a flat voice, "You gonna pack or what?"

"I'll do it later, just not right now" and she left the room. He couldn't blame her, after all if it wasn't for him she still be the same.

The following hours were more hectic than usual. Along with the noisy chatter of personal talking to each other about what they were going to do with their shore leave. Nathan headed down to the Tun Tavern and saw the cards all at their usual table and went to join them. It turned out that they were playing poker and from the looks of it, Hawkes was losing money, and a lot of it as well.

"Hey guys, deal me in" West said

"Um, actually sir, this was out last game, we thought we let Lt. Hawkes save some of his money for shore leave" 2nd Lt. Melissa Brown replied.

"Oh then, never mind, excuse me I'm just going to grab myself a drink" West walked over to grab himself a drink when a hand gently tapped his shoulder, and McQueen sat down beside him.

"Sir" West said, knowing that whatever the Colonel was about to say was going to be bad; "West, I've be wanting to talk to you."

Even though West already knew what this was about, he didn't want to make a big issue about it, so he simply answered with an innocent


McQueen knew West knew, and replied: "West, you know what I'm talking about, the situation between you and Vansen." For many months the Colonel had noticed that Nathan and Shane's relationship had been tense, both of them silent about it in their own way. Still, McQueen was worried that the squadron's moral was at stake because the honcho and XO, weren't setting good examples towards the junior member's of the squad and more importantly, they had lost their unique bond as friends. After a while West broke the silence: "Sir, in any way, are mine and Captain Vansen's actions, interfering with our abilities as good marines?"

"No, but they are as people" McQueen replied

Hesitantly West spoke: "She blames me."

"She blames you?" McQueen said confusingly

"She blames me for everything that's happen to this squadron, for her and 'Phousse being captured and tortured by the A.I.'s, for having a closer relationship with the squad than her, for Wang…" West's voice trailed off

"West, you have to understand, that was not your fault. You did the right thing as a Marine, and you shouldn't have to feel ashamed of it, and besides Vansen ordered you to leave her " McQueen said.

"Causing two of my squad members to be POWs for weeks, and leaving one behind only to be put into a coma, sure doesn't feel like the right thing sir" West said, with that he excused himself and walked out of the Tun. Walking along the corridors, West felt sick for having to put up with this for months. He was tired of always having to look and talk to Shane and only to get nothing but cold stares, and meaningless responses. He was sick of blaming himself for things he knew weren't his fault, but somehow even inside West knew it was. Shane just proved it to him constantly.

ISSAPC no.62428
004562, Earth side
Wednesday, May 5, 2065.
0700 hours

With all the missions the 58th had been through the last few months, and the exhaustion they were all going through, they still had to fly themselves back home, because of the shortage of personal.

"I can't believe this, I thought I'd be sitting down and relaxing on my way back on this flight, yet here I am watching the LIDAR." Phousse complained.

"You are sitting down relaxing Phousse, you're just staring at a screen, and besides at least you're not flying this thing" West replied. West smiled at Vansen when he said that, but she just looked away. With that West had enough, and pulled the switch on, which turned off communications outside of the cockpit.

"What are you doing West, turn the radio back on!" Shane said sternly

"We need to talk, Shane and you know it." West replied. The silence was broken when West finally said: "Why do you hate me, so much?"

With that Shane stubbornly turned the radio back on, and continued to fly. It wasn't always like this Nathan thought. He use to be able to talk to Shane, be for some reason he couldn't do it anymore.

Marine Corps Base
00042 Loxley, Alabama
Wednesday, May 5, 2065
1630 hours

The site of the base was beautiful - partially because it was on the ground not up in space, and the fresh air that could be breathed, rather than the artificial oxygen they were use too aboard the Saratoga. It was good to back to their roots. Vanessa smiled when she saw some new recruits; it reminded her the time that Sgt. Bogus made Shane and Nathan do twenty-five push-ups. "And speak of the devil, there he is" Vanessa said. The rest of the 58th looked across the base and saw the man, who turned them into Marines. Of course none of them wanted to disturbed him at the moment, as he was yelling at some poor new boot's face.

"What do you say we all hit the Astro Bar?" West asked.

"Uh actually our flight's in half an hour, West, we kinda need to head out now" Hawkes replied.

"Anyone else?" West asked, as he looked at the other members of the squad.

"Um actually sir, my flight's in thirty mikes as well, " responded 2nd lieutenant Gavin Price

"I was going to head out now sir, I only live about hour from here" responded 2nd Lieutenant Jordan Porter.

"I'll stay with you sir, I'm not leaving for my flight until 1900 tonight" Brown replied.

"I'll stay too, the flight to New York, won't be for another two hours" Vanessa said.

"Alright then, so I'll see the rest of you in two weeks" West added.

As the rest of the members, bid farewell to each other, West, Damphousse, and Brown went to dumped their gear and change out of their flight suits. On their way, they had ran into Sgt. Bogus, who by the time was done with yelling at new boots for the day. Bogus was ecstatic when he saw some of the members of his old trainees, they even spent some at the Astro Bar together, where West told him about the other members and how they were doing, and about Wang.

"Well, that's a shame Captain, Wang looked like a stick, but was sure one hell of a marine from what I've heard" Bogus said. During their encounter with Bogus at the Astro Bar, several pairs of boot eyes looked over at the 58th, and with envy. Some of them were even saying things like:

"Wow, look that's the 58th, the best squadron in the entire fleet." One even got the courage to go up to them, and compliment them, which of course they were really modest about.

Afterwards, Sgt. Bogus retired for the night, and Damphousse left for her flight, and only Brown and West were left. They sat at the bar, and West order two beers. "On the house for a Wildcard" the bartender said. West thanked the bartender, and thought that would have never happen, only unless he was an Angry Angel. Brown, was at thought, and look at her XO. He was great marine, and a hell of a leader, but over the months, as Captain Vansen resumed as honcho; she noticed that the Captain's behavior had changed considerably. She had notice that he seemed more depressed, and isolated from the squad.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" Asked Brown.

"Brown, we're off duty, just talk, and stop calling me sir" West smiled as he replied.

"The lieutenant wishes to ask…uh, I'd like to ask why you've been behaving the way you been…sir" Brown asked and added, "Did something happened to you to make you feel this way?"

West looked down at his beer, and replied; "I guess it's because…to be honest, I haven't been very happy lately, that's all, and it has nothing to do with the squadron, its…"

"Captain Vansen?" Brown answered. "Sir you're a great leader, and if Captain Van…"

"It's nothing, just stress and fatigue that's all, don't worry about it" West interrupted, "But thank you for your concern Brown - and stop calling me sir will you!" West joked. Brown and West joked and talked for a while, until Brown had to catch her flight, and left. Soon afterwards West left for his flight back home.

West Residence
00153 Augusta, Maine
Wednesday, May 5, 2065.
1900 hours

It was the first time, in a year, and since Neil died, that Nathan had seen his family. Nervously he walked up to the door, and rang the doorbell. He saw his mother appear, and immediately ran to the door to open to it, only to embrace her son in a warm hug.

"Oh sweetheart what a surprise, why didn't you tell us you were on leave, we could have come and got you" Mrs. West said while kissing her son on the cheek.

"I wanted to surprise you mom," West said. As Mrs. West held her son she noticed something different about him.

"Nate, is there something wrong?" She asked. "It just feels good to be home mom, that's all," West replied.

West Residence
00153 Augusta, Maine
Thursday, May 6, 2065.
0500 hours

The next morning, West woke up at 5:00 am in the morning, since he was so use to the morning routines aboard the Saratoga. Of course no one was up at that time, so he decided to go for a walk. He was amazed at the small town he had grown up in. He looked at the old convenient stores he use to go to when he was a teen, and at Joe's diner where he would go eat with his friends, and Kylen. Afterwards he stopped by the Celina's residence. Unlike Nathan's newly styled home, it was Victorian and had vines wrapped around the outside of the house. As he stood outside the residence, he thought about all that had changed between himself and Kylen. Before they were so close, and could depend on each other for support. But now, she seem different, and even distant from him. It's nothing too serious he thought. She's been a POW for a year, its only natural that she seems distant from everyone, including himself. But why would she not tell him that she needed space, it was very unlike her. By the time he had gotten home, it was 8:00 am, and everyone was up. "Hey, son come have some breakfast" Mr. West said, as he passed Nathan a plate filled with sausage, toast and eggs. Nathan took some time to look at it of course, it was probably the first real meal he had in a year.

"Well go on Nate, eat," Mr. West said as he smiled at him. He took his first bite, but for some reason he thought it tasted differently.

By the end of breakfast, John had already gone off to school, and bid his brother goodbye, and also told him that they would do something after he got back from school. Nathan went upstairs then, and stopped at Neil's bedroom. Everything had been left untouched as if, Neil would come back one day. Nathan went into the room, and picked up a picture of Neil, then suddenly the flashback appeared; "I'm scared, I'm so scared…"

"Neil? Neil! It's Nathan"


"Nathan?" Mrs. West asked with concern. "Sweetheart, you haven't even touched your food this morning, and you look like death, is there something wrong?" she added.

"No, mom there's nothing wrong, I guess I'm just not use to this anymore that's all" Nathan said.

"Honey your father and I are worried about you. You haven't acted like yourself for a while now" Mrs. West said.

"Mom, it's war, it changes everyone." Nathan answered.

When John came home from school, he immediately took his older brother out the field, where they use to play football. West looked around, and thought about Neil again. Sometimes it was so painful to think of him. He was so young, and had a whole life ahead of him, but he had to enlist didn't he? Then he was killed. A part of him would never forgive himself, for not looking out for his brother the way he was suppose to that night.

"Hey Nathan, think fast!" John said as he threw the football towards West. Nathan caught it, and looked around for a minute. God, the field was beautiful, it always stayed so green this time of year, and it was huge, enough space to play football that is.

"Bro, hey you okay?" John asked his older brother.

"Yeah I'm okay" West replied.

"Nathan I know you, you're not like this. When something's wrong, you act like this" John said.

"Like what?" West replied.

"Like what you're doing right now. Just tell me what's wrong with you" John pleaded.

"You've really grown up, John" West said.

"Don't change the subject Nathan, damn it, you're so stubborn" John replied

"John nothing's wrong with me, it's just the war that's been going on, that's all" West replied. After a moment of silence, John thought. Every since his brother came home on leave more than a year ago something had been different about him. Of course it was the war, but this time it was more than that. It was like he was feeling guilty for something, and was too ashamed to admit it. But he had to make sure:

"Nathan is this about Paul Wang?"

Nathan suddenly had the look of despair, and looked away for a while, but finally spoke: "When I'm out there fighting, it's always hard to see someone die, whether you know the person or not. It's also hard to a make a decision when you have you have two choices in front of you, and no matter which one you choose, the other one will always be there, and you'll ask yourself - what if?" West said. John was about to say something, but Nathan told him that it was time for dinner, and off they went.

New York Naval Hospital
00478 New York, New York
Friday May 7 2065
1400 hours

He looked so peaceful. As if nothing had ever happened, and he would wake up soon, and as happy as ever. Shane, looked at Wang's unconscious form, and began to cry. Why did this have o happened to him? He might as well be dead. He won't be able to wake up, or talk, or laugh ever again. Why did West have to leave him? He could have stayed to help him fight. But it's not his fault, he had to think of the colonist's lives first, and besides she told him to go.

No Shane, it is his fault, if it weren't for him, you would still all be together now wouldn't you? He's to blame, he abandon you, all of you. Yes he is to blame; yes he is, yes he -…

"Shane you okay?" Hawkes asked as he handed Shane a cup of coffee.

"Yeah everything's fine" Shane replied.

"Shane, can I ask you something?" Hawkes asked.

"What?" Shane replied.

For a brief moment Hawkes stare at her, but finally asked: "Why do you hate West so much?" Hawkes asked straightly.

"Hawkes, that's a subject I'd rather not discuss right now okay?" Shane answered.

"I think it's the prefect time to discuss that right now" Hawkes replied. "Shane, what ever you're holding against him, you know isn't his fault. He didn't have a choice - Wang did, and he chose to stay and fight" Hawkes said sternly and then added; "Shane, he already feels badly enough about what happen, and he doesn't need to be, but you're…"

"What, it's my fault now?" Shane replied in disgust.

"Shane you're hurting him, and you need to stop" Hawkes said.

"I've have been through hell for the last year and a half, I've had things done to me that you can never imagine! So if I need to be a bitch once and a while, I think of all people, you should be able to understand." Vansen screamed and stormed out of the room.

Hawkes looked down at Wang. Probably out of the entire squadron he could understand West the best. Ironic as it was, Hawkes became extremely close to his XO, and could understand why he was always so depressed. It had taken West time to come to terms that Vansen and the others had died, and yet that day they came back. He remembered how West looked when they brought Vansen, Damphousse, and Wang back on board the Saratoga. It was the look of the guilt on his face, which caused Hawkes to become emotionally supportive towards West. Before West was always the older and wiser mentor towards Hawkes, but since the return of the others, West had constantly turned to Hawkes when ever he needed to, hence allowing Hawkes to mature over the year. Still to see two of his closest friends to be so distant from each other worried him, especially Vansen who seemed more on the edge of a breakdown.

West Residence
00153 Augusta, Maine
Monday, May 10, 2065.
0500 hours

West once again, woke up at 0500; he thought that the point of shore leave was to be able to sleep. Nathan got up, took a shower and dressed. As he walked in his room, he picked up a picture of Kylen. She was so beautiful, and caring - speaking of which he was suppose to see her today. He quickly got the keys to his parent's car, and drove over to her apartment, that she was now living in.

Why was he so nervous? It was just Kylen after all. As soon as he reached her door, he knocked. He heard some soft stirrings inside, but it stopped, and the door opened. "Nathan!" Kylen yelled, as she jumped and kissed him.

"When did you get back? I'm so happy so see you" Kylen said.

"A few days ago" West said.

"And you didn't come see me first" Kylen said playfully.

"Sorry, I just wanted to get settled before I came to see you that's all" West replied.

"You're forgiven" Kylen said as she kissed West again. Nathan notice something different in Kylen's kisses. They felt as though they were held back.

"Is something different Kylen?" West asked as he broke away from the kiss.

"What are you talking about?" Kylen replied.

"You seem different" West said suspiciously.

"I don't see how" Kylen replied offended.

"Then why did you kiss me like that?" West asked.

"I kissed you the way I've always kissed you, Nathan" Kylen said again and then added; "Look, it's taken some time for me to adjust to a normal life again. Baby, just give me some time ok?" Kylen said while stroking Nathan's hair.

That day, Kylen and Nathan spent time together just talking. Nathan tried asking Kylen what she'd been doing during her time in Europe, but every time she just said that she went through several therapy sessions, and some site seeing.

"So how are David, and everyone?" Nathan asked.

"They're doing good Nathan, it was really tough for them, but they all pulled through in the end. Thanks to you and your squadron that is" Kylen responded and then added "They were talking about you allot there you know."

"They were?" West said surprisingly.

"Well yes, Nathan you've changed a lot since they last saw you" Kylen said. Suddenly Kylen noticed that Nathan's expression changed. "Your squadron saved us, you saved us" then added, "What's wrong?" She asked

"Truth is Kylen, I didn't save anyone that day, I was just doing my job" Nathan said flatly.

"Nathan, take some gratitude here, I was just…"

"Three of them got severely injured you know, one's in a com…" Nathan stated and then added, "You know let's stop talking about this, let's do something else." Hesitantly Kylen knew something was bothering him, but didn't want to push the subject further, so she invited him at her place for dinner. Again during dinnertime, Nathan lacked the appetite for it, again which Kylen was concerned about, but didn't say anything. After dinner, they sat by the fireplace with just the comfort of each other. Kylen saw West's face, and at his dark blue eyes, the ones that she fell in love with the first time she met him. But those warm blue eyes were different now, she thought, but he was still the same person she fell in love with right? Within a moment, Kylen reached up to kiss him. The kiss became more and more intense, but it abruptly stopped West pulled away.

"We can't do this, it just doesn't feel right" West said. Kylen knew as well that it wasn't right either, and didn't say anything. After a moment of silence West kissed Kylen, and told her that they could talk in the morning, and left. Afterwards, Kylen felt as though she should tell him, what had been happening to her, and what she'd been feeling since her time in Europe. It wasn't fair to him, what she had been feeling. But she tried very hard to ignore, and even get rid of these feelings, but she couldn't. Yet she still couldn't tell him, she didn't have the heart.

West Residence
00153 Augusta, Maine
Tuesday, May 11, 2065.
0700 hours

"…You fly I'll fight"… "It'll double our chances of getting home"… "Semper Fi, my friend"…"Neil it's me!"… "No!"… "Take her home"… "Take them home"… "I'm scared"…

West woke up with a cold sweat, and was shaking. He quickly got up and went into the bathroom, and looked into the mirror. No question about it, he looked like hell. And the same dream he been in his head for months, yet still he couldn't get rid of it. Mrs. West just happened to walk up to check on her son, and saw that he was inside the bathroom.

"Sweetheart, you slept in a bit today" Mrs. West said happily.

"Did you want breakfast?" She asked.

"No thanks mom" West said strangely.

"Nate, is something wrong in there?" She asked, while approaching the washroom door, to only find out that it was locked. She knocked. "Nathan?" She asked

"I'm ok mom, I'll be down in a minute" West shouted while taking some painkillers he found in the washroom.

"Okay then" Mrs. West said confusingly and left. Nathan looked at his reflection again, and told himself, that it was nothing, he should stop this, it was nothing…

Later that day, Nathan went over to the Celina's household again, along with Kylen. Mr. and Mrs. Celina were of course delighted to see Nathan. And decided that they would all go over to the West's for dinner. During supper, Nathan found himself bombarded with questions, which he tried very hard to avoid.

"So Nathan, what's the war been like?" Mr. Celina asked cheerfully.

"Difficult to live with sir" Nathan answered strangely. This of course unsettled Mr. Celina bit. He thought that Nathan had a bit of an attitude all through supper, and didn't appreciate it one bit. Nathan then excused himself, to get more painkillers for the migraine starting in his head.

Long after dinner, the West's retrieved into the family room. Anne West eyed Richard West, as he eyed Nathan.

"Why are looking at me like that?" Nathan asked his father

"I think you know why, son," Mr. West answered concerned, and held up the bottle of painkillers.

"Why are you taking these?" Mr. West said sternly.

"My head's been aching that's all dad, don't worry about it" Nathan answered.

"I think I should worry about it Nathan, why do you need painkillers for a headache, haven't you heard of aspirin for God's sake!" Mr. West shouted.

"Dad I'm fine!" Nathan said sternly.

"Sweetheart, your father and I are just worried about you. You haven't slept, or eaten much ever since you got back, and now you're taking these pills," Mrs. West added.

"And not to mention, your attitude towards Bob was unimaginable tonight" Mr. West added as well.

"What has gotten into you Nathan?" Mrs. West said.

"Nothing has gotten into me!" West shouted.

"Don't shout at your mother like that!" Mr. West shouted as well. After a moment of silence Mr. West finally spoke:

"Your mother and I, have been talking about this, and we have even asked some professionals about this. Nathan, we think it's best if you discharge yourself from the Marines."

"I can't believe this! You went behind my back on this, I've only been back for a week, and that gives you enough time to judge me?" West shouted again

"Nathan you've been like this for more than a week now, and you know it. We've also asked offhand, and found out that it would be ok to discharge yourself at this time as well. Nathan, I think it's the best you can do right now, you can find something else you like, it's just that we think that being a Marine isn't healthy for you anymore" Mrs. West said calmly.

"Mom, I'm 24 years old, I think I 'd know what's best for me" West said

"Nathan you're not thinking clearly anymore, and as your parents we want you to discharge yourself!" Mr. West said sternly.

"I can't, and I won't" Nathan stated.

"I was hoping that it wouldn't come down to this. Nathan if won't quit the Marines, and seek some professional help, we won't be here for you anymore" Mr. West stated.

"What, now you're threatening to kick me out the family?" West shouted. "The choice is yours, son" Mr. West added. There they were - two choices laid out in front of him; either he stay in the Corps and never become a part of this family again, or return to nothingness and stay here with his family. He couldn't bear to stay on earth anymore, not when he owed so many people to stay. Slowly, Nathan walked upstairs and gathered what little he had and went back downstairs again.

"So this is what you're choosing," Mr. West said disappointedly. Mrs. West began to cry, and John ran towards his brother and began to plead.

"Don't go please, Nathan!" John cried.

"I'm sorry John" Nathan said solemnly

"You're only going to wind up dead one day, and we won't be there to pick up the pieces!" Mr. West shouted. "This is what happened to your brother!" He added. Still Nathan continued to walk towards the door.

"If you walk out of that door, don't ever come back, you hear me!" Mr. West shouted desperately.

Nathan quietly closed the door behind him, and began to walk away. After everything that he had gone through, he didn't think that he would be alone - again. After a few moments at the cross bridge, Nathan thought again. His parents were right he did need help. He was heading towards a spiraling path of destruction, and only he could stop it. He had nowhere go though, except Kylen's. He wanted to talk to her; he needed to talk to her right now. Maybe she could make some sense of his situation. As West walked through the night, and towards Kylen's apartment, all he could think about was her. Now, that he decided that he was staying in the marines for good, would she wait for him? Would they ever become as close as they were before the war start ever again? As West approach Kylen's apartment door, he hesitated for a minute but knocked. No answer, he tried again. No answer. Maybe she was still over at her parents' place he thought. Knowing Kylen, he found a spare key on top of the doorframe, and used it to open the door. Maybe he would wait for her to come back he thought. But that changed as he heard a noise inside the bedroom. Knowing what he might find, Nathan walked slowly towards the bedroom door, and began to cry at the sight he saw. Kylen and who ever else it was in her bed, stopped abruptly when they saw Nathan.

"Nathan, I-" Kylen gasped. Nathan just stood there paralyzed at what he just saw, and quickly left. It was obvious to Nathan now why she had been so distant from him these past months, and it was also obvious that their relationship was over. As he walked out of the apartment, heard Kylen crying at him that she was sorry. Shocked that he had lost everything in one night, all Nathan could think about was the last place where he could be understood.

New York Naval Hospital
00478 New York, New York
Wednesday May 12 2065
0900 hours

A tired and exhausted Nathan slowly walked up to Paul, and sat down beside him. He took his hand, and held it for a while.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Paul" Nathan said. From that day on, he decided never to become close to anyone again. Everyone that he loved and cared about, he would always loose. Not anymore, not if he could help it, and so he decided that day.


Next : Chapter Two "…And From The Sidelines Watch Me Fall"
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