She ran blindly, pushing people out of her way. She knew she had to get as far away from that voice… his voice - filled with that bitter contempt… as she could. Without realising it, she had been heading ever upwards, going on until she came to a small observation deck with a panoramic view of the stars. It was a room not used by many of the crew - just big enough for two really - with seats built into the wall behind her. She sat down and stared out, trying to calm herself.

* Why had he been so angry? He had called himself a tank - an invitro. * She could tell he didn’t believe her when she’d asked her question. It made her realise just how out of touch with the rest of the world she really was. She thought about all the times at home, when she’d asked about the stars… if they had names. Was it possible to visit them? Now she knew why the answers had never satisfied her. It was because she’d been told only half-truths, kept away from the rest of the world, for reasons she couldn’t begin to fathom. But she did know she’d have more questions, more demands to know the truth, when she returned home. Or perhaps she could get some of those answers here. She smiled at the thought. Perhaps from him, if she didn’t upset him too much. She leaned back against the wall, and sighed deeply.

“I knew I’d find you here.” He said softly.

She didn’t dare to turn and look at him. She’d probably blush again, and she was sure that she was already way down in his estimation as it was!

“Did you? I didn’t know I’d be here, so how could you?”

He sat next to her, and she could smell a faint hint of sandalwood from him, making her very aware that the seats were not very big at all.

” You like to look at the stars. You’d have found this place sooner or later.”

Now she did look at him, staring at him, hoping to see something… anything… to give her a clue as to what was going on in that mind… behind those icy blue eyes.

“How do you know I like to look at the stars?” she challenged.

He smiled.

“You stopped to take a look yesterday, remember? I nearly lost you.”

“Oh.” she whispered. * Was that laughter she could see * she wondered.

He turned, and deliberately looking out at the passing traffic - the usual assortment of Hammerheads flying in and out - he asked, “How can you not know what an invitro is?”

“You must think me terribly ignorant.” She whispered. She felt that the eyes of the whole universe were looking just at them. If she kept herself small, maybe they’d go unnoticed. “Ignorant and stupid. I bet not many people manage to lock themselves in their rooms.”

He rounded on her, anger flaring in his eyes.

“You are NOT stupid! And don’t you ever say that in front of me again!”

She leaned away from him as far as she could. He had frightened the life out of her, and all she could do was nod.

He said, more gently this time,”If you were stupid, they wouldn’t have sent you out here, would they? And as for locking yourself in, well - let’s just say that was unlucky. “

She tried to make herself look at him, but it was so difficult. He seemed to be always either angry with her or laughing at her!

“Tell me,” she asked quietly, “tell me about invitro’s. Please?”

He sighed. “Where do I start? Invitro’s are a race of artificially gestated humans.” At her blank look he went on. “We were ‘grown’ in a tank. That’s why people call us tanks. Created to do the jobs no natural borns wanted to do.”

She put out her hand to stop him. “Natural borns?”

“That’s you,” he nodded at her, “and almost everyone else on this ship, born naturally, with real live parents. Tanks don’t have parents; we’re decanted at the age of 18. Into indentured jobs, often at the place we’re expected to work - usually until we die.” His voice was harsh, angry.

She was horrified.

”But… but… but that’s slavery!” she managed to blurt out.

He looked at her calmly.

“Some people would call it that - others wouldn’t. Tanks are the lowest of the low. Not considered human even - just fodder to be used wherever there’s a need.” he finished bitterly.

She sat quietly for a moment.

“I never knew. I’m sorry.”

“And why should you be apologising to me? I’m a hell of a lot better off than many of my kind. At least I’m free. So tell me, how come you didn’t know?”

She checked to see if he was going to shout at her again before she spoke, but seeing nothing but interest in his eyes, she told him.

“I was born into the Community.” At his blank look she smiled. * This time, at least, HE didn’t know what she was talking about! *

“It was set up by my mother and two other women she’d met. They set it up in the highlands of Scotland, as far away from people as they could get, but close to my mother’s home village. The first few women and it was women at first, had all had problems in their lives. I don’t know much more than that. It’s not the done thing to talk about it. But they were all pregnant, or, like my mother, had newborns to care for. They chose to bring their children up without the benefit of the outside world. They set up schools as they needed them, groups for the pre-schoolers… that’s my specialty by the way! And a medical centre.” She laughed. ”I mean, they had to have somewhere safe to give birth, after all! The Community is entirely self-sufficient. It produces all its own food, most of its energy, and we build our own housing too!”

She stopped to draw breath, noticing his half smile as he watched her speak.

”They were lucky, I guess, that many of the women had the skills they needed. For instance, my mother is a doctor. And they had financial backing too. But it’s a closed community. We have as few dealings with the outside world as possible. Well, except for the Founders.” At his questioning glance she added, “That’s Jeanette, Paula and my mother. They seem to know what’s happening in the world - they just don’t allow us to know. I mean, this is the first time I’ve ever set foot outside our boundaries, since I sneaked out with a friend as a child, and it hasn’t exactly been a pleasant experience.”

Glancing at him, she whispered, “Until now, that is.”

“So, what about your father?” he asked.

She went very quiet.

“It’s a funny thing - nobody discusses fathers. I have no idea who mine was. My mother refuses to speak about him. None of the women do. It’s as if they want to forget that part of their lives. Which is odd, because they all have children to remind them.” she whispered. “That’s why I was so surprised when I was told I had to come here. I mean, whenever I asked about anything, I was always told it didn’t affect me - not to worry about it. Then suddenly here I am, being packed off to god knows where, to do god knows what! Except now I know I’m here to play.” She stopped, and stared straight at him. “With you, I guess. “

She paused, thinking how to phrase her question without angering him again. He seemed so easy to anger.

” You don’t look any different to me. How can anyone know who you are?”

He replied calmly, “My navel is on my neck, not my stomach.”

She thought about it for a moment.

“That’s what the bump is then, on your neck. I noticed yesterday.” At his questioning glance she grinned. ”When I was running to keep up with you!”

She wondered if she dared ask the next question.

“Ummm… this is a bit nosey I guess, but can I have a look at it? Please?”

He glared at her.

“My neck or my stomach?”

She flushed red again, and hung her head.

“Sorry.”

“No - it’s ok.” He turned, and tipped his head forward so she could see.

“Oh, it’s such a little thing!” she exclaimed. “Can I touch it?”

He stood up fast.

“NO!”

She jumped back at the violence with which he said it.

He practically barked at her, ”I have to go; I‘m on bridge duty. Can you find your own way back to your quarters, or shall I send a crewman to guide you?”

She stared up at him, knowing she’d made him angry again.

“No thank you. I’ll find my own way back.”

With that, he turned and left. She sat and watched the hammerheads flying past, wondering how he managed to make her feel so small while seeming so interested in what she had to say. She sighed. She’d never understand him, she was sure of that.

He found her on the topmost deck, in a tiny observation room. * Made for two by the look of it * he thought wryly.

“I knew I’d find you here.” he told her. She didn’t look at him. *Is she blushing again? * He wondered.

He sat down beside her. All he kept thinking was, how could she not know? But he knew, no matter how angry he was, he knew that she really didn’t. The confusion was written all over her face.

” You like to look at the stars. You’d have found this place sooner or later.”

She turned and stared at him, searching for a clue as to how he felt. The thought made him smile, so that he nearly missed her next question. Even while answering it, he was wondering how she could not know?

“How can you not know what an invitro is?” he asked her.

At her reply that she was stupid and ignorant, his anger raged. How many times had he been called a stupid tank? He’d lost count, but he’d promised himself he’d never use that word to anyone, of course he had, in anger, but he tried his damnest not to, and now here she was, calling herself stupid! It mattered to him, for some reason he couldn’t begin to explain, it mattered very much that she know he didn’t think she was stupid. Of course all he succeeded in doing was scaring her again, so he changed tack. He tried to be more… caring… was the word, he supposed, but it wasn’t something he felt he was good at.

”If you were stupid, they wouldn’t have sent you out here, would they? And as for locking yourself in, well, lets just say that was unlucky.“ He was pleased to see that she shifted back into her seat properly, and then groaned to himself, knowing what she was going to say.

“Tell me,” she asked, “tell me about invitro’s. Please?”

He sighed.

*How do I keep it simple, without showing her all the anger, the rage, the hurt? How do I tell her about the prejudice, the horrors involved? *

He tried, choosing to be extremely selective. She could look it up in the ship’s library if she wanted all of it. She interrupted him only once, and her final response didn’t come as a surprise. He felt that he knew she’d react as she had. It was comforting somehow. The thought disturbed him; did he really want comfort from this elf? To distract her, and keep his mind from wandering over things it ought not to, he asked about her. He listened intently, recognising the clues that she seemed unaware of. He let her talk, asking just one question.

“So what about your father?”

It made her go quiet for a second or two. He watched as a blank look passed across her features, glazing her eyes for just the tiniest fraction of a second.

He knew, he just knew somehow, that this was a community of women who’d taken their half-breed children and gone where the world couldn’t harm them. To where they couldn’t call their children tank brats, or their mother’s whores. To where they wouldn’t suffer the daily indignities that came everyday to couples trying to make a tank/natural born relationship work. Her father was a tank, of that he was certain.

” You don’t look any different to me. How can anyone know you who you are?”

The question, when it came, was not unexpected, though her request to see his navel was. He was angry for just a second, but knowing that it was an innocent request made it easier. He found himself offering her his bent neck to view. Her request to touch it, though, sent fire through his veins. He was on his feet like a shot!

He practically barked at her, ”I have to go. I ‘m on bridge duty. Can you find your own way back to your quarters, or shall I send a crewman to guide you?”

He turned and fled, frightened by the fact that he had actually been waiting for her to touch it. He’d wanted to feel her fingers on his neck, on his extremely sensitive navel.

When he was far enough away from her, he stopped and leaned against a wall. * God almighty, how long was he going to have to put up with her? She made him furious. But - and he really didn’t want to admit it - he was attracted to her as well. Damn her to Hell! *

He glared at a passing crewman who’d stopped to enquire if he was ok, and marched off to the bridge, dreading his next encounter with her, the damn little elf! That made him smile. An elf. She’d always be an elf to him now. He liked that - and even that thought disturbed him!

Next : Chapter Five
Previous : Chapter Three

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