Part Three

Alex felt much better. They had been able to rest for awhile, while waiting for the other team to report in. All she was left with was a pounding headache, and a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She still felt wobbly, but a nice hot shower, and a long nap should cure that. Sleep always proved to the be the best medicine for overextending her paranormal abilities.

Vansen got the call from West. "Ok, let's move out to the rendezvous spot.

They weaved their way across the landscape, avoiding Chig patrols to the best of their ability. As they neared the rendezvous point, they came across a area where their had been a earilier battle. Bodies lay strewn across the area. They approached cautiously, gathering the dog tags of those that had fallen.

Alex felt the hairs on the nape of her neck rise. It was almost as if someone was watching them. They trooped over the hill to where they were going to meet the others.

The other team was already there. "Did you radio in for extraction?" Vansen asked.

West took a drink from his canteen. "ETA is seven minutes."

"Did you notice that there were no Chig bodies back there?" Vansen asked.

West nodded. The minutes ticked away. The feeling increased for Alex, until she almost jumped out of her skin when the transport landed, stirring up great clumps of cinnamon colored dust.

Even with all the dust swirling about, Alex saw the glint of metal reflected for a second to the left. She opened her mouth to shout a warning just as all hell broke loose. Several Chigs materialized from behind nearby rocks just as Alex screamed out a warning.

"Chig ambush!" Alex yelled.

"Everyone get on board on the double!" Vansen yelled. Everyone dived for the transport only feet away. Everyone except Vansen, who had just gotten of large clump of sand blown in her eye. She stumbled towards the transport, tripping on a concealed rock. Vansen went down hard, and leaped back up, scrambling for the transport. She was seconds to late.

Time seemed to move in slow motion for Alex. She saw everyone leap aboard the transport, all against Vansen, who had gotten a gust of sand in her face, and was momentarily blinded.

She saw Vansen trip, and then scramble to her feet. She also saw the Chig rifle target on her head, and pull back the trigger. Vansen's reddened eyes widened in shocked disbelieve at the gun aimed at her head. Her breath caught in her throat.

Their was no time for Alex to think or focalize. She just reacted and pushed out at the Chig with everything she had in her. The Chig was picked up like a rag doll and thrown backwards. His shot went wild, hitting the side of the transport close enough to Vansen to have singed her hair. Hawkes reached out and yanked her in, and the transport took off in a cloud of dust.

Unbelievable, unbearable pain tore into Alex. It slammed into without mercy, ripping, and shredding her apart. Everything around her was colored a bright bloody red. The roar of a thousand engines filled her ears. Then everything suddenly, mercifully, faded to black, and she hit the floor the transport hard.

"That was too damn close!" Vansen exclaimed, sweat pouring off her forehead. "Alex how did you..." The rest of the sentence died within Vansen's mouth. "Alex?" She asked, a look of horror crossing her face.

Wang was closest to her, and he turned her gently over onto her back. Blood oozed from her mouth, nose and ears. He gave Vansen a helpless look, holding her in his lap.

Vansen snapped into action. "West! Radio McQueen and tell him we need a emergency medical team waiting for us when we dock."

West nodded, and notified McQueen of the request. He then turned to Vansen with a haunted look. "That Chig had a bead on you, and then he was dead, crushed against that rock. I saw what happened."

"So did I." Hawkes agreed. Damphousse also nodded. Wang looked down at the bleeding woman. "How?" he asked, stunned.

"I don't know how. Don't ask me to explain, because I can't." Vansen told him, running a shaking hand through her hair.

McQueen was waiting in the docking bay as the transport landed. He saw the medical team rush in. Then he saw the members of the 58th leave the transport, shaken one by one. Pain blossomed in his chest as he saw who they had carted away.

Vansen stopped in front of him. "What happened?" McQueen asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

Vansen looked at him with tormented eyes. "I---I don't even know to begin. I'm just trying to understand."

"You saw then?" McQueen asked.

"I think we all did. But how...?" Vansen asked, only to be interrupted.

"Go get cleaned up. I'll brief everyone in a hour."

Vansen nodded mutely and walked away.

McQueen walked into the medical center. He found Doctor Duncan just placing up X-rays.

"How is she?" He asked without preamble.

"Hemorrhaging badly." Doctor Duncan told him. Right here, she said, pointing to a area on the x-ray. She looked up at him with shrewd eyes. "Got something you want to tell me?" She asked.

McQueen gave her a blank look.

She folded her arms across her chest and fixed a look on McQueen that made him flinch. Snorting angrily, Duncan pointed to another section of the brain. "This is not normal. I've never even seen cranial development in this area." She aimed another scorching look at McQueen. "I know you have information that will enable me to help MY patient, so spill it Colonel."

McQueen knew Doctor Duncan to be of excellent character, as well as being a dedicated doctor. "She has Telekinetic abilities. I think she pushed herself too hard."

Doctor Duncan nodded. "That would explain the scar tissue. Is she a IV?" She watched as McQueen nodded. "Don't want to prescribe the wrong pain medication. "I'm going to relieve the pressure to the area, and try and keep the brain fluid and serotonin levels even. Other then that, I don't think there's much I can do."

Seeing the tormented look on McQueen's face, Doctor Duncan, clasped his shoulder. "She's a fighter, that much I can tell."

Doctor Duncan walked away, to get some lab tests started, and left them alone.

McQueen looked the silent, pale woman lying so helplessly in the bed. She was so still, so unlike the vibrant woman he had come to know. "Alex." The word came out in a tortured whisper. He brushed aside a strand of blond hair, and brushed his lips against her forehead. The pain inside was so great, he had to bury in deep inside in order to function. Pulling up a chair, he took a cold hand in his, and held it until it was time to go brief the 58th.

Alex finished buttoning up the khaki colored shirt that was SARATOGA issue. She straightened the collar, and looked into the mirror, frowning. She still looked too pale.

She had spend three weeks in the medical center. Everyone had been very nice. Lt. Cato had come by to tease her gently, about taking so much time off of work, and filling her in on what was going on since she had been confined in bed.

Vansen had come almost every day, bringing teddy bears, balloons, and the sincere offer of friendship. She did her best to cheer Alex up when all she wanted to do was get out of the medical ward.

West had come with Wang, and they had smiled and acted silly, to try and get her mind off her pain. They were both sweethearts. Hawkes had come alone, full of questions, and acting ill at ease, until she welcomed his questions, and talked with him about their lives as IV's.

Damphousse had come to offer her support, timidly admitting to her own abilities. Alex had promised to help her understand her own abilities without any undue pressure. Alex found her to be a quiet source of strength.

It was McQueen's visits that she had looked forward to the most. He had come whenever he had available time. Holding her hand when the pain became bad, and she refused the pain medication, knowing how susceptible she was to it. He had seen to all of her needs, and sometimes just sat by her side, reading from a book, while she dozed.

But he had been very quiet, and more restrained then usual. It was like he was holding back thoughts and feeling from her. Alex found that it hurt, not being able to share with him like she had gotten used to.

Doctor Duncan had released her this morning. McQueen had send her a message saying that he wanted to speak to her as soon as possible.

"You asked to see me, Sir?" Alex asked, as she was ushered into his office. He waved her into a chair in front of his desk. He typed for a few minutes longer, before looking at her.

"I'm not sure they should have released you. You look like hell." McQueen told her.

"Just what my ego needed to hear." Alex muttered in a low voice. Unfortunately, McQueen heard her and frowned.

"I'd prefer it if you paid more attention to keeping that ego and body intact."

Alex grit her teeth, and looked at the floor. She was sick and tired of people treating her like a delicate piece of china. That or treating her with fear.

"Sir, I just wanted to say that I am fully able to resume my duties."

"I'll be the judge of that." McQueen said, tapping a few keys on his computer. "Now if you would tell me with your own words what occurred on the planet."

It was such a callous answer. Alex clenched the sides of the chair, and gave him a account of what had happened on the planet.

McQueen gave a disgusted sigh a few minutes later.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" He asked.

"Pardon?" Alex asked.

"Well something must be bothering you. Your mind isn't on this briefing."

"I'm sorry Sir."

"What is it?"

Alex chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. "Does everyone know about me know?"

McQueen nodded. "It proved impossible to keep a lid on it."

A dull ache formed behind her eyes. Alex bit down hard on the inside of her cheek. "Damn it." She cursed silently.

"Why?" McQueen asked.

"Some asshole came up to me today and wanted me to read his girlfriend's mind and tell him if she was cheating on him." Alex said in a disgusted voice. "And that was just the beginning.

"It'll pass. We've both dealt with situations like this before." McQueen told her. It wasn't that he didn't feel for her, it was just that he didn't know how to help her. So he expressed his thoughts on how he would handle the situation.

Alex gave the leg of his desk a stony look.

"It will blow over" McQueen told her in a soothing voice.

Alex doubted it. Maybe things had gotten better for him but he didn't have a telekinetic lodestone hanging around his neck.

McQueen tapped his fingers idly on his desk. He wished there was something he could say or do to make her feel better, but he didn't have the slightest idea where to begin.

"Would you like to finish the briefing later?" He offered.

Alex wasn't about to start slacking in her duties. She'd die before she'd allow that to happen.

"No, I'm fine, go on." She told him.

Everything proceeded well up to the point where the Chig had aimed his rifle at Vansen.

"Would you please repeat that?" McQueen asked, hoping she would clarify, and prove his suspicions wrong. It was not to be.

"Vansen spotted the Chig shortly after I did. She yelled out for everyone to get onboard the transport." Alex explained.

"And then what happened?" McQueen asked, knowing he wasn't going to like this.

Alex rubbed her throbbing forehead idly. "I saw the Chig draw a bead on Vansen and yelled out a warning, but it was too late."

"You attacked the Chig?" McQueen asked, frowned again.

"Yes."

"You disobeyed a direct order?" McQueen questioned.

"Like I said, he had his rifle aimed at Vansen. I just reacted."

"Alex, that's not the point. You disobeyed a direct order. I have to put that in his report, and it's not going to look good."

Alex's temper, already frayed by the day's events, flared into life. "Was I supposed to follow regulations and let that Chig kill her?" She questioned hotly.

McQueen pressed his lips together, frowning darkly at her. Looking back down at the computer he pounded out a few sentences.

Anger flooded over Alex, and she leaped out of the chair and stalked over to the window. "I don't believe this! You're angry because I disobeyed a order that saved Vansen's life!"

"The Core doesn't look at things in the same light you do Alex. They only see things in black and white." McQueen said in what he hoped was a calm voice, indicating the report he had been working on.

"Well damn them, then." Alex retorted, looking out the port window.

"That's enough." McQueen warned.

"You would think after all the help, all the information I've given them, they would cut me a little slack."

"They appreciate your actions. You're a valuable commodity to them." McQueen stated, realizing it was the wrong thing to say the moment it had left his lips.

There it was. Alex closed her eyes painfully. All her hopes and dreams were falling apart, shattering, and dissolving into nothingness. Would she never be accepted for who she was, not what abilities she possessed? Something brittle snapped inside her, and she turned on McQueen angrily.

"A commodity? Is that all I am to you? To the Core? A damn commodity?"

"Alex, calm down."

"I don't bloody well believe this!"

"Alex, get over here, and sit down!" McQueen instructed firmly. Things were quickly getting out of hand.

"No!"

At first McQueen thought he had heard her wrong. But the look of her face disproved that theory. His eyes darkened ominously. Where did she get off behaving like this? Didn't she realize he was just as much in the middle of this as she was?

Alex hurt. The pain wasn't physical, she could deal with that. No she hurt deep inside. It felt like something precious, something deep inside had been mortally wounded. All she wanted was a word, a gesture, something from him to show he understood what she was going through.

"That's a order, Sommerville!" McQueen said from between grit teeth.

Alex turned around and looked at him, her eyes begging him, the one person she respected, relied on, and cared about, to give her a single word that he understood. But no, he didn't budge a inch.

"Would you like to know what you can do with that order?" She hissed.

McQueen couldn't believe she was so openly defying him. He was just trying to help her, and she had just verbally slapped him across the face with her refusal to listen to reason. Fury, strong and hot burned through him.

"You will either follow orders, or you are out of here! Is that understood?" McQueen stated, carefully enunciating the last few words.

"How can you be so damn unfeeling?" Alex asked, noticing how dark his eyes had gotten. It was not a good sign, but she was beyond rational thought right now.

"Do you know what I think?" She asked in a sharp, biting voice.

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me. Now get your butt over here and plant it in this chair!" He barked.

"I think you're afraid that if you loosen up on the strangle hold you have on your feelings you might lose sight of your precious control, and feel something. That or maybe you can't feel and it pisses you off!"

"I have heard quite enough out of you!" McQueen said in a deadly, calm voice. He stood, the chair making a scraping noise as he pushed it back.

McQueen couldn't ever remember feeling this angry. He fully intended to strip a few layers of her thick hide, with a few well chosen words.

His fury mounted again at the rebellious look she tossed him. It rose up choking him, breaking down his carefully constructed walls, and exploding into a entirely new emotion.

Once, when he was still freshly out of the tanks, he had thrown a rock into a pond to see what would happen. The rock had disappeared, but the shockwave the rock had caused rippled on the surface long afterwards.

Alex was that rock now, and the emotions she had roused were the ripples flowing outward. All his anger had been funnelled, and underwent a metamorphosis into a strong, hot passion. Part of his being felt strangely detached, the rest wonderfully alive.

"You've gone too far this time." McQueen told her, walking slowly towards Alex. He saw fear flicker into her eyes, but she held her position. Good, he liked that. He continued towards her. His words gained a almost soft purr to them.

"If you play with fire, you had better expect to get burned." McQueen told her stopping just inches away, and looked down at her.

Fear and confusion conflicted for supremacy in Alex's eyes. Her nostrils flared gently, and her breathing quickened.

"So you think I'm unfeeling do you?" McQueen asked, smiling at her. It was a very predatory smile. Then he reached down and grabbed both sides of her collar and yanked.

Alex wasn't expecting this kind of reaction, and collided with his chest with a small "oof". Without giving her a second to react, McQueen bent his head, and covered her lips with a hard, punishing kiss.

It was the very last thing Alex had expected him to do. His lips moved upon hers, warm and demanding. Alex expected to feel the same dread and repulsion she had every time Tolian had forced her, But she didn't

A warmth seemed to form in her chest, radiating outward like liquid sunshine. She had placed her hands against McQueen's chest in a gesture to try and push him away. Now the very same hands seemed to move of their own accord slowly up his chest, and around his neck.

One very long kiss, flowed into another. Alex found herself responding, and returning the kiss, her lips moving in time with his.

McQueen had felt Alex suddenly stiffen, then slowly relax against him. Her hands slowly traveling up his chest to loop themselves around his neck. She responded slowly, then with increasing passion.

He released his hold on her collar, and slowly slid his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. McQueen kissed her again, another long, searing kiss that flowed into another, and another, until she was gasping for air.

Leaving her mouth, he trailed his lips to her forehead, and kissed the throbbing beat there. He kissed the softness of her hair, and the very tip of her nose.

Alex leaned closer. It felt so very good. Every nerve in her body had come shockingly awake, and clamored for attention. All her anger and frustration had receded to the far distance.

She looked up at McQueen. His eyes had darkened to the most intense blue she had ever seen. There seemed to be a unspoken question in his eyes.

Alex didn't bother trying to figure out what he was thinking. She only knew that he was too far away, and she wanted him closer. Without a single qualm, she pulled his head back down to meet hers.

McQueen looked down at Alex. Her lips were swollen with his kisses, and her eyes half closed with passion. He wanted her, and he wanted her right now.

He spent a few seconds trying to gauge her thoughts. Then she had pulled his head back down towards hers. It was enough of a answer for him. He gave a low growl of satisfaction and cupped her softly rounded bottom and pulled her closer, letting her feel the effect she was having on his body.

Alex's tongue flickered over McQueen's bottom lip, teasing, asking. He opened his mouth to her, and met her foray with one of his own. His hands squeezed her bottom rhythmically, kneading the softness in his hands, as he slowly maneuvered her back towards his desk.

Alex ran her fingers through the soft silkiness of McQueen's hair. Her fingers weaving magic upon his scalp, and the back of his neck.

McQueen trailed kisses down her neck to just below her ear. He took her earlobe into his mouth and bit down. Alex gasped softly, then arched her neck to allow him better access.

The warm glow inside her became a warm honeyed ache deep in her lower regions. She began to unconsciously rub her body against McQueen's, craving a closer contact.

"Lord!" McQueen thought. She was rubbing herself against his body, making his hard as a rock. He maneuvered her back against his desk. His lips dipped to the wildly beating pulse in her neck.

His fingers went to the buttons of her shirt. It was a newly issued shirt, and the buttons were still stiff. He unbuttoned the first one, but the second refused to give. McQueen gave the button a yank. It came off with a pop, and flew off across the room. It was soon joined by two others.

"Damn." McQueen uttered as Alex's shirt fell open. She was wearing the most impractical undergarments. Nothing more then a couple of narrow strips of peach colored satin, edged with lace that reviled more then it covered.

Her nipples were hardened into sharp little peaks, playing peek-a-boo beneath the lace. They were damn irresistible. He placed his hot mouth over one of those eager little peaks, grazing the tender flesh with his teeth, before lapping away the hurt with his tongue. He drew hard again the little point.

"UHNNNNN!" Alex gasped aloud, arching closed to what that warm wonderful mouth was doing. She shrugged her shoulders and the shirt slid off onto the floor. One of McQueen's hands reached around her back, and unhooked the bra. It slipped off, and landed on the floor near her shirt.

McQueen's other hand found and unfastened the snap to her pants, and lowered them past her hips. He was having a hard time concentrating with Alex nibbling on his neck and ear.

Alex slipped off her shoes, using one foot as a lever for the other. She stepped out of her pants and reached for the zipper on McQueen's flightsuit, a very feminine smile on her face. It gave a slight rasp as she lowered it.

McQueen gave her a very pleased grin, and pulled his arms out of the sleeves of the flightsuit, and yanked off his turtle neck. Alex gave a low purr of pleasure, as she ran her hands over the hard plains of his chest, following the curves of his shoulders up to his neck where she once again looped her arms.

He was so hard to her softness, so warm and smelled so wonderful. She pressed her mouth against his throat and licked there. He even tasted good tasting of perspiration, and his own unique scent.

"Nice." McQueen whispered in her ear, referring to the tiny patch of lace and satin that composed her underwear. "But I'd prefer them off." He told her in a husky voice. His thumbs hooked under the waist band and pulled then down and off.

Alex willingly stepped out of them, rubbing herself against his erection. Her fingers found the opening to his boxer shorts, and grasped him. McQueen sharply sucked in air, as her fingers wrapped around his erection and squeezed.

His hand cupped a firmly rounded breast, and he rubbed the distended nub with his thumb and his index finger. The rest of his fingers softly squeezing her breast.

His other hand followed the curve of her hip into the soft blond curls between her legs. He located the small pearl of her womanhood with his thumb, and slowly began rubbing it. The rest of his fingers delved between her soft folds, probing deeper and deeper before plunging into her passageway.

"OHHHH!" Alex cried out, all her breath catching in her throat. She recovered and flicked her tongue into his ear, before trailing a series of nips to the navel on his neck. She began to stroke his hot velvety shaft with her fingers. Her body followed the motion of McQueen's fingers deep inside her, her breath coming in quick pants. With her tongue, Alex encircled his neck navel. She drew down upon it, sucking hard.

A bolt of sheer electrical sensation shot through McQueen at what her mouth and fingers were doing to him. He removed his fingers from her, ignoring her whimpered protest, and swept everything off his desk. Disengaging her other hand, he lowered his boxers, and pushed her down onto the desk, plunging hard into her.

She was warm, wet, and very tight. A little bit like heaven, and a lot like coming home. Alex screamed as he buried himself to the hilt within her. She bit down on his shoulder hard, nails digging into his back. He withdrew and plunged back into her harder this time. He withdrew again and slammed much harder into her.

"Oh...TY! Ty....rus!" She moaned. "Do you know what you're doing to me? You're so hard and strong, and you feel so very good inside me." She told him in a breathy voice. McQueen stopped dead, letting the glory of her words flow over him.

"Don't stop! Oh please don't stop!" Alex moaned, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, urging him on with the most incredibly sweet, naughty words. A very primitive noise escaped his lips as he lost all control. He placed his hands under her bottom, bringing her closer with every thrust.

He plunged hard into her, squeezing the twin globes of her bottom with every thrust. Alex made low keening noises in her throat, moaning and sobbing out his name, surging upwards with his every thrust. Her soft impassioned cries of pleasure, the bite of her nails in his back, caused him to redouble his efforts, and McQueen pounded into her harder, and much, much faster.

There were stars in the room, beautiful pinpoints of light sparkling away in the distance, McQueen thought. The desk creaked and groaned under their straining bodies.

McQueen licked, nibbled, and sucked his way up and down her body. His body thrusting into her's with a almost brutal intensity. Sweat trickled off his forehead, and the tendons in his neck stood out in stark relief as he labored over her. The stars were much closer now, almost blindingly beautiful in their intensity.

Alex felt herself surging, flying upward, trying to reach a world of brilliant crystalline colors. Suddenly she broke through, reaching it. The flood of feelings that filled her, caused her to scream out in mindless pleasure. Her world shattered into a million rainbow bright prisms of sensation. Wave after wave crashed over her, shaking her until she collapsed against the cool desk top.

McQueen felt her convulse and writhe under him, a look of shocked pleasure entering her eyes. He covered her mouth with a long kiss, muffling her scream of pleasure.

McQueen pumped into her a few more times before the stars came closer, entering him, inflaming him with their heat and brightness. He felt the stars exploding, and he went up with them, flaring up a moment of almost unbearable sweetness.

He had never experienced, or even imagined such intense feelings were possible. Wave after wave of ecstasy tore through him. He moaned loudly against Alex's lips. He thought he was dying, and yet never felt more vividly alive. He felt his hot seed flood her passageway, as the spasms took all coherent thought away.

He didn't know how long the spasms shook him. Gradually he became aware of the softness beneath him. Raising himself up on his elbows, he placed a gentle kiss at the nape of her neck. She still labored for breath. Their eyes met, and for a moment he felt something. A strange new, wonderful feeling. He didn't have time to explore this feeling became the attack klaxon suddenly went off.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, as everything snapped back into focus.

Alex watched the smooth precision in which he moved, taking only seconds to dress. He walked to the door, then suddenly turned back towards her. He memorized the way she looked, all rosy and glowing from his passion. He opened his mouth to speak, then not knowing how to vocalize what he was experiencing, he pressed his lips tightly together and left the room.

As McQueen walked to the command center he wondered what had happened back there. His thoughts were all tangled together hopelessly.

He had just screwed the hell out of a woman on top of his desk! Then he frowned at his own crudity. It hadn't been just sex, it had been something----more.

He found it hard to accept that he had lost all the discipline he had fought for over the years. Even more difficult was that he had not only lost it, he had let it go willingly. He felt raw, confused, ashamed.

He had known that Alex was a lady the moment he had laid eyes on her. And he had just taken her like a common whore. Women like her deserved moonlight, soft, sweet words of poetry and to be cherished and loved slowly.

McQueen knew he would accept anything she dished as a result of his inappropriate behavior. He would take it because he knew he deserved it.

He was almost to the command center now. McQueen centered himself, and buried everything away in some deep spot inside. He would analyze all of this later, he needed to be in control right now.

Alex slid off the desk, and stretched experimentally. Her legs were wobbly, and she was tired and sore in places she hadn't been in years. A deep sense of fulfillment filled her, and she smiled softly.

She gathered up her clothes from where they had been strewn about. Her shirt was missing three buttons, and she found herself grinning like a fool at the memory of how she had lost them. Luckily, her quarters weren't too far away. She would have to duck back in her room and change shirts.

It was a mercifully brief battle. McQueen was aware the moment Alex entered the Command Center. He avoided looking at her. He was still to raw right now. Raw and afraid of what had happened to him. What was still happening deep inside him. He needed time to think before he could face her. He would do that all when he could think for rationally.

Alex struggled to ignore the hurt building inside her. McQueen had been ignoring her all afternoon. He refused to look at her, speak to her, or even acknowledge her presence. She left the moment it was prudent to do so.

The thoughts that filled her head, caused her grief. Why was he treating her this way? Was he ashamed of her? The way she had acted? She had never behaved that way before. Like the wanton Tolian had always wanted. Suddenly she felt very dirty inside.

She got back to her quarters and lay down on the bunk. All the feelings that had erupted in McQueen's office came flooding back, triple fold.

Not only had she lost everything she had hoped to gain on the SARATOGA, she had lost her self respect as well. She had behaved like a whore, and believed that she was to be treated as one now as well.

She curled up in a fetal position on the bunk, and for the first time in her life, Alex cried. Hot tears flowed from her eyes. The flood tides opened, and she sobbed until she had no tears left to shed.

McQueen bent over and picked up the last few papers, straightened them, and placed them back on his desk. It was hard not to feel, not to hurt, as he picked up the scattered contents of his desk. It only it was as easy to straighten up his feelings.

Something glinted at him from across the room. He walked over and saw three buttons, military issue. He picked them up, and held them in his palm. Alex. He knew she had been hurt, and angered by his behavior. Didn't she realize that losing his objectivity was dangerous for a man in his position?

A small voice within mocked him, saying that the danger was more to his feelings then his position. It was true. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to care. It was easier that way. He squeezed the buttons tightly before placing them in a zippered compartment of his flightsuit.

He lay on his bunk later, tired, hot and irritable. He couldn't sleep. His mind was still too active. The harder he resisted the thoughts of Alex, the more they plagued him. He could still see shocked look of pleasure as he took her fully. He could hear the words she had whispered to him.

He turned over and pounded his pillow. It hadn't been just good sex. It had been good with his ex-wife. It had felt more like a joining of souls. She had pulled him inside her, and he was terrified he would never be the same. No woman had ever made him want like this, need like this, or ache like this.

He scratched at his burning, itching eyes. If only......No! He pounded the bunk with a fist. If only's were impractical, useless. You had to make your own choices and live with them. Slowly the minutes of the night ticked away.

Alex woke at dawn. She woke to the realization that the tears had been therapeutic. Alex saw things in a whole new light now. She had behaved horribly in McQueen's quarters. The things said still hurt, but it was only a mild hurt now.

Her resolve and goals were clear now. She wasn't going to self-condemn herself any longer. She was who she was, and she would build on that image, and make it respectable.

She wasn't giving up on McQueen either. Sometime during the night she had come to the conclusion that she had reacted so strongly to him because of her feelings for him. She had started out caring, and those feelings had evolved into something much stronger. She wondered if this was what love was.

If it was, it was troublesome, a real pain in the butt. But it was also capable of being wonderful, and fulfilling. She smiled, showering, and slowly defining her goals. Wiping herself dry, she knew she wouldn't let the forces against her rob her ever again.

For the first time in her life, she was going to fight for what she wanted. And she wanted McQueen. He must have some feelings for her, no man made love like that unless he had some emotions involved. With a secretive little grin, she headed for the bridge.

"I need your signature, sir." Alex told McQueen. Anyone could have taken the supply sheets to the bridge, but she had latched onto them, and volunteered to take them.

McQueen looked at her apprehensively. He had a warily look in his eyes. Did he think he had hurt her? Was that the reason for his behavior? He could hurt her "that" way anytime he wanted, Alex thought, biting back a grin.

McQueen frowned at the strange expression in Alex's eyes. She didn't seem angry. As a matter of fact there was a unusual challenge in her eyes. Like she wasn't giving up on the Core after all. He looked at the forms attached to the clipboard, and then back at her. The look was still there, and she raised a eyebrow at him.

There was definitely a challenge in her eyes. Puzzled, he signed the forms, and handed them back to her. "Thank you." He said, at a loss for words.

"My pleasure, Sir." Alex returned, politely.

McQueen would have been deaf, dumb and blind to miss the double entendre her statement implied. Then the realization hit him between the eyes.

He wanted her. He wanted to be able to talk to her, get to know her, and have her in his life. Getting her to accept him would be a challenge, but one he found himself looking forward to. Quite suddenly, it was all he could do to keep a silly grin off his face.

The End

Whitethorn © 1996