Rating: NC17

Spoilers: None

Author: Vasalysa, with many undying thanks to Geek.

E-mail: cmbower@ennorath.net Comments are always welcome

McQueen sat on his bed, fighting for control. But every time he started to suppress what he was feeling, thoughts of Griffon intruded and he wanted to run out the door and find the vampire so he could beg to be fucked.

A hand rapped on the hatch. "McQueen."

McQueen opened the hatch, barely able to keep his hands off the vampire. Dogging and locking the hatch, McQueen lost all control, flinging himself on Griffon, needing to get inside Griffon's flight suit, to be taken by Griffon.

When Griffon pushed him away, McQueen could barely stand up with the wall's support. His whole body trembled and ached to be touched and taken by the man before him.

"Get undressed," Griffon ordered, his voice tense, as he stripped off his flight suit and kicked his boots toward the bathroom.

In a frenzy, McQueen obeyed, hoping that Griffon would allow him close.

"McQueen, I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen. I will set it right. Come here." Griffon held open his arms and staggered when McQueen launched himself into his chest. As hot kisses were rained down upon his throat and neck, Griffon sighed. "God, I wish you were mine. But neither of us would ever get any work done."

"Stop talking and fuck me, damn you. It's all I have been able to think about since I saw her." McQueen slid down Griffon and growled in frustration when Griffon grabbed his head, keeping him from sucking the hard cock.

"Not yet. Breathe in. Breathe in the scents. Focus on the one that isn't mine. You already know it."

Obeying, McQueen recognized the second scent. "Silver." A trickle of clarity ran through him. "You did something to me last night. She said you bonded with me."

"It was unintentional. I never meant for it to happen." Griffon stroked McQueen's head lightly, then said, "Go ahead. We have to get this out of the way before I can break the bond. Just try to remember her scent. If you need a reminder, let me know."

"Right, like I have a choice in this." McQueen found his hands were rubbing up and down the hard thighs. "Damn it, I need you to take me and it's driving me mad."

"Get on the bed. Hands and knees. Once I've satisfied our initial lust, I'll work on breaking the bond." Griffon could barely release his light hold on McQueen, keeping his hand on the bare back as McQueen moved to the bed. "We need a lubricant, McQueen."

"Massage oil in the bathroom," groaned McQueen.

Griffon used the oil and returned to where McQueen waited, carrying a towel over his shoulder. He took a moment to admire the view, running his hands lightly over the revealed flesh. The towel was set down on the bed under McQueen.

Sliding his finger in, Griffon felt the way McQueen's muscles sucked him in and moaned at the thought of again fucking McQueen's extremely hot ass. When he felt McQueen was stretched sufficiently for him, Griffon started to ease himself in.

It was too slow for McQueen and he slammed himself backwards onto Griffon, impaling himself fully in one thrust. "Now fuck me! Stop dicking around."

Before starting, Griffon put his fingers under McQueen's nose. "Breathe in."

Silver's scent invaded McQueen's nostrils and he dropped his head. "God, I need her."

"I know."

"And I need this. So get started, dammit."

Griffon took McQueen hard and fast, driving them both over the edge in only minutes.

"Again." McQueen twisted around on one arm, reached back and pulled Griffon down for a hard demanding kiss. "More Silver. Yes. Now, fuck me again."

It took three more times before McQueen could lie down and look at Griffon without demanding to be fucked. "Ok, how do we break this bond?"

"You get to take me this time while breathing in Silver's scent and thinking about her. I know it sounds simplistic, but it will work."

McQueen jerked the towel out of the way and grabbed Griffon, pulling him down onto the bed, hard. He moved over the other man, pinning him to the bed on his back. "About damn time." He gave Griffon a hard kiss, breathing in Silver's scent deeply. "I'm going to enjoy this." The tenseness in Griffon's body telegraphed the vampire's fear of how much he was going to enjoy it as he pushed both of Griffon's legs up to the man's chest. "Hold them."

To McQueen's surprise, Griffon obeyed, closing his eyes.

"Don't move." McQueen fetched the oil and used it liberally on himself and on the exposed ass. He quickly and thoroughly stretched Griffon before pushing in a bit at a time.

Griffon's lower legs over his shoulders, McQueen used short in and out movements, teasing Griffon by never quite fully stroking the vampire's prostate. Soon Griffon writhed on the bed, panting hard, but never losing his grip. Griffon's ability to control his body amazed McQueen. He knew he couldn't have kept holding his legs while under such an assault. Burying himself deeply in Griffon, McQueen leaned his head down and found the hand with Silver's scent. He breathed deeply, focusing on her scent, knowing that this meant that he was also bonded to her in some way, but it wasn't as intrusive as what Griffon had done to him.

Reaching down, McQueen stroked the twitching cock below him and watched as Griffon arched his back, groaning. "It's your turn, Griffon."

"Stop talking."

Grinning, McQueen took serious control. He started a slow, steady rhythm, intent on seeing if he could break down Griffon's control. When he felt the hard thighs trembling against his chest, McQueen stopped and waited, running his hands over the smooth, muscular body.

"Never thought you would be a tease, McQueen," came after several minutes.

"Just wondering how far I can go."

"I can't release my control, McQueen. If I do, I'll finish the damn bond. I want you too much. And Lysa is pissed at me enough. She's going to, as the saying goes, rip me a new one, and if I screw up again, she'll get out of that bed to do it. And she is a very strong willed vampire. So do all three of us a favor and don't try to break my controls. Not now."

McQueen could see Silver going after Griffon in her unhealed state, injuring herself further. He nodded. "But I intend to get a little back."

"Fine."

The resignation in Griffon's voice almost made McQueen decide to just finish it, but he figured it for a test on Griffon's part. Keeping a steady pace, McQueen watched as Griffon responded enthusiastically. Twice more McQueen drove Griffon to the edge only to pull back to lower the intensity. The rush of power that McQueen felt, watching Griffon writhe under him, made him want to prolong the situation, but as he breathed in Silver's scent once more, he knew it was time to finish. He started to really take Griffon hard and fast.

Griffon's body arched as he came and the resultant muscle contractions brought McQueen over with him. Slumped forward onto Griffon, McQueen felt slightly dazed, but himself. "It's broken?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Griffon smiled and ran a hand through McQueen's hair. "What I wouldn't give to have you. But I'll be good." He slid his legs down around McQueen and pulled him forward, kissing McQueen. "There, now, I think you better get some sleep. I have a rather irate Silver to get back to."

"I should-" McQueen rolled onto his side.

"Later, McQueen. Later. Let me calm her down. It's a vampire thing and you'd only get hurt if you were there. As it is, I'll be looking for some of my skin when I leave her room." Griffon lurched to his feet and rubbed his backside, thinking about just how Silver would exact her revenge

"She won't get up?" Anxiety showed in McQueen's eyes.

"No. I'll be a good submissive vampire and take my verbal lashing with quiet dignity." Griffon laughed. "No, it's when she can actually get out of that bed that I have to start looking for cover. She is very pissed at me right now. I wonder how many counties I can get between her and me on this ship. Not enough I fear." Reaching down, Griffon started gathering up his clothes. "McQueen, the best thing you can do right now is get some sleep. This has done more to you than you realize. Believe me. Just grab some more sleep. Go see her after lunch."

"I told the squad to see her this afternoon, one at a time."

"I'll let her know." Griffon swung McQueen's legs up onto the bed. "I'm going to take a shower and get out of here."

By the time Griffon came out of the bathroom, McQueen slept, stretched out like a great cat. The sight took Griffon's breath away and he just stood staring for several long minutes. The beautiful, scarred body relaxed in sleep, demanded to be watched. "Damn, if only I had seen you first, McQueen. Lysa needs you though. I can only hope that you let me give you a tumble some time in the future."

Locking the door behind him, Griffon set out to reassure Silver the damage had been repaired.

McQueen opened his eyes, pondering the vampire's words. He shrugged and let himself slip back into sleep.

When McQueen woke, he tested himself and thought about Griffon. His overall response was that he ached, and damn it had felt good. With a satisfied grin, McQueen showered, tossing the soiled towel in the hamper. Reminding himself that he needed to get another blanket out for his bed, McQueen luxuriated in the hot water, washing away the sweat and smell of sex.

He dressed again, glad that his clothes had survived the ordeal intact, if a bit wrinkled from the floor. Before going to lunch, McQueen decided to see the commodore.

McQueen found Ross in his office, working on a report. "Plans for lunch?"

"It's close enough." Tossing the report down, Ross ran a hand over his face. "I hate inventories."

As Ross rose, McQueen said, "If you're short two folding chairs, they're with the 58th."

"If only it were that simple. It's Ammunition. How do you lose five torpedoes?" Ross glanced at his secretary, Lt. Martins. "I'm going to lunch. See you in an hour."

"Yes, sir."

In companionable silence, the two men strolled to the Officer's Mess and got their food. Several minutes after sitting down, Ross said, "I haven't seen a mission report, Ty."

McQueen hesitated slightly before saying, "I'm still trying to figure out how to report it. Glen, you wouldn't believe the things that happened." McQueen stared at his plate.

"Worse than trying to explain Lt. Damphousse's psychic experience?"

"Much worse." McQueen toyed with his fork, debating how much to tell his friend. Deciding that he could only tell the entire truth, he looked up at Ross. "It's going to take a lot longer than an hour and a lot more privacy, Glen."

"Will it explain the presence of one Black Force colonel?"

"Yes."

"And why Colonel Silver is healing at three times the rate of most people?"

"Yes."

"And why it was Capt. Vansen who brought me the data recorder and not you?"

McQueen sighed. "Yes."

"After we eat, I'll tell Lt. Martins to cancel my afternoon schedule. We can talk in my quarters."

"Glen, I'll need you to listen before you jump to conclusions."

"So what else is new?" Ross grinned, remembering past escapades over their long history.

McQueen smiled briefly. "Thanks, Glen." He started eating.

In Ross' quarters, McQueen stood by the view port, staring out. He almost asked for a scotch to fortify himself, but decided that he needed to keep his wits sharp. This would not be easy.

"How relaxed should I get, Ty?"

"As comfortable as possible, Glen." McQueen raked his fingers through his hair. "This isn't going to be easy for me to do, so if you could keep the questions to a minimum until I've at least gone through it once, it would help a lot."

"Ah, one of those kind." Ross settled into his favorite chair, unbuttoned his shirt to a comfortable level and picked up his guitar, Rosalyn, letting his fingers strum absently. "Whenever you're ready, Ty. I'm listening."

McQueen took it as a good sign from past hard discussions and, despite appearances, he knew Ross would be paying attention and would have a lot of questions, mostly at the end of the first telling.

The one question McQueen expected as an interruption came. "She's a what?"

"Vampire. Not quite what the classic tales describe, but she does drinks blood, or rather, life-force. And she needs a lot of sex to go with it."

"Blood and sex." Ross strummed for a moment, not looking at McQueen. "All right. What else?"

To McQueen's amazement, Ross managed not to ask any more questions. He sank down into the chair he usually sat in during their late night visits and waited.

"As I see it, the two biggest problems for your report are how to explain Silver's getting around with such serious injuries and how you managed to heal so quickly. I think that sums it up nicely."

McQueen nodded. "I have no idea how to explain Silver's being able to keep going for as long as she did, especially with those injuries. I know people have been able to manage for several days, but a month?"

"Let's check with the doctors and see what their opinion of her injuries are. If we're lucky, they'll decide the injuries were not as old as that. As for you... Ty, we'll have to say it appears to be a temporary side effect of the treatments you underwent."

"That's the only thing I could come up with." McQueen dropped his head into his hands. "I don't want to become a guinea pig. Not so late in my life."

"I don't blame you." Ross set the guitar down on its stand. He waited a moment before asking, softly, "So, Ty, what was it like... to make love to a vampire?"

"Quite normal until she sinks those teeth into me. Then my whole body turns into fire. It becomes so intense, I have trouble breathing. I'm both looking forward to and extremely anxious about the first time we make love with her still drinking from me." McQueen did not look up at his oldest friend.

"Ty, are you ashamed of what has happened?"

Breathing deeply for a minute, McQueen answered finally. "Yes and no. A part of me is ashamed. Ashamed of how I treated her. Ashamed of enjoying the physical side of things, when so much needed to be done. Ashamed that I want more, a lot more."

"But it is not a one way street, Ty. She obviously wants you, enough to nearly kill herself on the trip back to keep you alive. She is probably ashamed of losing control during that time, even though she kept from killing you. The two of you need to talk this out. Soon."

"I know." Still staring at his hands, McQueen said, "I would like to get a medic assigned to the 58th, Glen. It would make things easier, especially if Silver stays."

"Don't you even know that?"

"For the time being. That's all she's agreed to."

"How do you plan on getting her to stay?"

McQueen sighed and gave his friend an anguished look. "I don't know. All I do know is that I need her. In some crazy way, I really need her. I can survive without her, but I want her, I need her close, the closer the better. Letting her go on missions won't be the hard part. It'll be when she comes back, when all I want to do is sweep her into my arms, kiss her and make love to her."

"Have you told her any of this?"

"Not yet. Things got a bit confusing there with Griffon and that damn bonding he did. I plan on seeing her this afternoon. I'm hoping I'll have the time to talk to her. The squad is coming by as well and some of them really need to speak to her, to get the situation between her and them straightened out. If they can't get the situation back on some sort of track, it won't matter if I get to talk to her or not. She won't stay, not if the squad can't accept her. No matter how much I need her, I won't make her suffer their disaffection. I'll let her go before I force her to stay where she's not comfortable." McQueen dropped his gaze to the floor again.

Ross smiled slightly, realizing that his friend was finally learning about loving another person as an equal. And that he was a father to those unruly young Marines. "Ty, I'm certain that if you want her to, Silver will find a way to stay here on the Saratoga. I'd be willing to make her a bridge officer. She's got the same good instincts that you do."

"She should."

"Ty, whatever happens between Silver and the squad, don't let this woman get away from you. Those kids of yours may end up being unhappy about you having a relationship with Silver, but they have no right to dictate to you who you spend time with or how."

A sharp laugh, "Glen, we're on a Navy vessel. The how would be all over this ship in no time flat if they did not approve. And Silver will come in for a lot of flack over having a tank for a lover."

"She can handle the challenge."

McQueen almost did not hear the breath soft words that followed. "And I would have." He brought his head up and stared at Ross, remembering words from the night of his spanking. "Glen-"

"Don't ask." Ross could not meet his friend's eyes.

"How long have you wanted me?"

"I told you not to ask."

"Please, tell me. I need to know."

"Do you remember the first time we met, Ty?"

"Yes, The AI POW camp. You led the rescue team."

Ross snorted softly. "Trust you to reduce it to bare minimum, Ty." He reached over and took Rosalyn by the neck and started strumming again, needing to ground himself, to distance himself slightly from the memories. "We had been trying to figure out a way to get inside. Then we heard gunfire. I led the attack, hoping the distraction from inside would be enough. I nearly shot you when you came staggering around that corner, carrying a pistol. The only reason I didn't was the obvious blood coming from those damned injuries the AIs had inflicted on you."

"I was positive I was dead when I saw you," admitted McQueen. "I couldn't have pulled the trigger again to save my life. Besides," he grinned, "I was out of bullets."

"Now he tells me." Ross grinned back briefly. "Then you sank to your knees, exhausted, badly injured, and that damned Capt. Burton came strolling over, thanking me for rescuing him. The contrast between the two of you told me everything I needed to know. He had talked or worked out some sort of deal with the AIs, earning himself a relatively easy time. He hadn't tried to escape, not seriously. And he had the effrontery to ignore you, even though you were there at his feet. It angered me because I could see your stay just as clearly. I didn't know you were an Invitro, but I knew you had fought, tried to escape, been caught again, and still fought. From the anguished look in your eyes, I knew the AIs had broken you and, in an effort to regain your self-respect, you had made another break for freedom, this time succeeding."

"All that from less than two mikes of observation?" McQueen asked quietly.

Ross nodded once. "And then the bastard pissed me off when he looked down at you and said, 'Tank, get your ass over to the barracks and start evacuating my people.' And you said, Yes, sir,' and started to get up."

Lost in the memory, McQueen said, "You shoved me back down, keeping your hand on my shoulder so I couldn't obey. And you said, 'I need this tank. I have a job only he can do.' Burton laughed and said, 'Hope he pleases you as well as he did us.'" McQueen focused on Ross' hands, remembering the fingers tightening on his injured shoulder, the anger pouring off the Navy Seal. "Then you released my shoulder, saying, 'I'm sure he'll please me just fine.'"

Ross suppressed a shudder of distaste. "The only reason I let the bastard walk away was I knew it would only make things worse for you. When I looked back down at you, Ty, you were unzipping your flight suit, preparing yourself for yet another invasion of your body. Those beautiful sapphire eyes glanced up at me and, for a split second, I wanted to do just that. I wanted to know what you felt like, how you kissed, how it would feel taking you. But in that same instant, I knew that no one had ever asked you if you wanted this. That they had always taken from you and that you had come to accept it. I could see the pain in your eyes and such weary resignation. I realized that it would make me no better than that bastard Burton and the AIs. I decided then and there that I was going to be something more to you than another taker. I was going to become your friend whether you wanted me to or not. I wanted to get to know the man behind the bruised face. If anything were to happen later, it would be because we both wanted it to happen, not just me." Ross' voice dropped and he did not look up at McQueen.

"You knelt, stopped me from undressing and said softly, 'What's your name, soldier?' I answered, 'McQueen. Captain. U.S. Marines.' Then you ran your fingers lightly over my cheek and started looking over my injuries, saying 'Let's get you to the medic.' When I asked about the job you wanted done, you chuckled, 'That's the job I want you to do, McQueen. Come on, let's go.' It was the first time anyone had bothered to care about me before anything or anyone else. I didn't know what you wanted from me, but I hurt too much to really care about it then. I just figured I would handle it whenever you demanded payment. Only you never did. It took me a long time to figure out all you wanted was to be my friend."

Ross shook his head. "It took me months to get past the mistrust you had of everyone. Just like trying to befriend a feral dog almost. And when I found out where you had spent your early life, I knew that my decision to become your friend was the right one. I spoke to a couple of friends of mine and arranged to have you tested for aptitude. They decided that you were being wasted where you were, as well as being abused, and arranged for your transfer. I followed your career and tried to see you as often as I could, wrangling days off so that I could visit you. I was so proud of you when the Angry Angels accepted you. I knew you had what it took to be the best." Ross stopped strumming and looked at his friend. "I never stopped wanting you, but our friendship had come to mean so much more to me than the physical possibility. I never intended to let you know. I wanted you to know that an enduring friendship was possible and did not have to be physical."

"Glen, you've always been my friend. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around or to understand. And I can be dense and stubborn. But I have always valued our friendship, once I understood that it was what you wanted from me. I'm not always sure how to be a friend and sometimes I need a reminder of what friendship is about. Then I just look back over the years and I know what a friend is. You are my friend and will always be my friend. Thank you, Glen, for daring to make friends with me all those years ago."

Rising, McQueen stood before Ross. He gently took Rosalyn out of the still hands and set her on the waiting stand. "Glen, you gave me back my life and soul and all you asked was to be my friend. I have trusted you to guard my back and you have trusted me to do the same. I trusted you a hundred different times and that trust was never misplaced. I trusted you not to abuse me when you punished me that night. You didn't disappoint me. And I intend to go on trusting you, because you are my friend, Glen. Will you trust me in return?"

"Always, Ty."

"Then trust me for the next couple of hours. Let me teach you what it is like to make love to a man, a man who happens to be a tank that wants a vampire for a lover." McQueen tilted Ross' head up and gave his friend a real smile. "Trust me."

"That was never the problem."

"We'll deal with whatever happens, Glen, together, as friends should. Just think of it as repayment of a very old debt. One that should have been paid a long time ago."

"Ty. I don't-"

"Glen, no matter what, it doesn't change the way I feel about you. Glen Ross, you are my friend. Nothing in this universe will change that. Now, trust me." McQueen held out his hand.

Slowly Ross placed his hand in the waiting one, giving a wan smile.

Nurse Temple looked up from her computer terminal, sensing several people standing by her desk. She smiled at the sight of the entire 58th squadron waiting. "Must be visiting hours again. No more than two at a time, please. The colonel tires easily right now. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," the squad chorused.

Temple nodded. "The room to her right is empty, so the rest of you can wait in there. If I come in and find more than two of you with the colonel, I will immediately revoke and suspend indefinitely your visiting privileges. Go on."

"Yes, ma'am."

In the empty room, the squadron glanced at one another.

"Who goes first?" asked 'Phousse.

"Finch and St. John," Vansen said firmly. "Then Russell."

'Phousse looked at Vansen. "Then you, Shane. You need to straighten things out between the two of you before the rest of us talk to her."

Vansen hesitated.

"She's right, Shane." West touched her arm. "You need to talk to her first."

"All right."

Finch and St. John left.

"I want to go after Shane," stated West.

"Can I come with you?" asked 'Phousse.

"Yes."

"Guess that means I go alone and last." Hawkes stared at the floor.

"Hawkes, if you want, I'll come in with you," volunteered Russell.

"No, man. You need to see her by yourself."

"Doesn't mean I can't join you too."

"It's ok, Russell. I kinda want to talk to her alone."

Ten minutes later, Finch opened the swinging door. "Next."

Russell alerted Vansen after fifteen minutes. "Ok, Shane. She seems pretty mellow right now. Oh, be warned everyone. She knows about Adam."

Vansen sighed and rose. "Who told her?"

"One of the staff."

"Should have been the colonel."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't."

Outside Silver's room, Vansen hesitated a moment before pushing her way through the swinging door. "Colonel."

"Captain."

To Nansen's eyes, Silver still looked awful. Dark circles gave her gray eyes a transparent look and the cast immobilizing the right shoulder lent her a misshapen air. A burn trailed up from under the hospital gown across the left side of her throat to the back of the jaw. Under the skimpy gown, Vansen knew more burns were hidden from sight.

"Do I look as bad as I feel?"

"Possibly." Vansen ventured to the foot of the bed. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"I have an advantage over Invitroes. I can take the most powerful painkillers our science has devised. There's no pain unless I move more than a couple of inches."

"Colonel... I want to... Silver, I would like to..."

"Sit down, Vansen. Gather your thoughts and forget the rank."

Vansen sat down, staring at her hands. "Silver, I would like to apologize for my actions toward you. I was jealous and overly distrustful. You did everything you promised, including leaving when we made it obvious that you weren't wanted. We, no I, treated you unspeakably badly and you did nothing to deserve such treatment from me. I'm sorry."

"Shane, come here." Silver patted the bed.

Slowly, Shane obeyed.

"Why were you jealous?"

"I didn't want you to take him away from us."

Gently laying her hand on Shane's knee, Silver said, "I don't plan on taking him away from you, Shane, any of you."

"I know that now." Taking a deep breath, Shane forced herself to say calmly, "I would like to start over, Silver."

"I think we can do that." Silver held her good hand out over Shane's leg. "Hello, I'm Lt. Col. Silver, the new co-CO for the 5-8." She grinned.

Taking the offered hand, Shave said, "I'm Capt. Shane Vansen, honcho of the 5-8."

"Nice to meet you."

"Silver..." Shane stared down at their hands and slowly let go. "I know you're a vampire."

"So?"

"I'm not sure how to react to that."

"At least that's different and a lot more positive than what I usually get. Most people laugh nervously and then run for their lives. After that, they usually avoid me at all costs."

"Do you tell people often?"

"No. As rarely as possible and only when necessary."

"But you told members of the 112th."

"Yes. All told, twenty-five out of a hundred knew exactly what I am. The others may have guessed, but I didn't tell them. And outside Major Dupre, they were all Invitroes."

"Dupre? The major who died when we found Paul and Adam?"

"Yes. I had to tell him when we were stranded in the desert on Sigyn. Just the two of us survived the crash. We had a hundred and fifty mile trek to get back to friendly territory. There was enough water for one person. In order to get Dupre to take the water, I had to tell him what I am. Traveling at night, I went on four feet, scouting. I was relieved when we reached scrub desert. Our odds of survival went up since I could hunt without using ammo."

"Did you hunt on Ixion?"

"Yes. I kept my people supplied as best I could. I still wish I could have been on Deimos. I think I could have kept more alive if I had been there."

Shane shook her head. "A trading of lives. And we had to take Ixion. You needed to be there. Not on Deimos. You made a difference on Ixion."

Silver's smile was bleak. "I know why we went to Deimos and why we had to abandon you there to go to Ixion. But it didn't help the hurt. The only thing I could do was fight on Ixion and pray to make it back to pickup my kids."

"Is it something that happens to people in command? This thinking of those under them as their kids?"

This time Silver smiled genuinely. "Only to some of us. Those of us who allow our hearts to become engaged."

"Are we your kids?" Shane raised her eyes to Silver's face.

"I would like you to be. I already know, like and respect you for yourselves, not just because you're his kids." Silver met Shane's gaze steadily.

Shane nodded. "On that planet, McQueen told us some things. One thing he said was that he cared for us, that he felt like a father. West said he made a good father. Then Hawkes asked if that made you our mother. McQueen looked at me and I told him that if you were willing to give it a go, I would accept you as such. I guess what I'm trying to say is-"

"Shane, you don't have to say anymore. I understand." Silver patted Shane's knee. "Family does not always mean blood relations, as you know. I would be honored to have the 5-8 as family. And you remind me, Shane, a lot of my daughter, Cassie."

"May I ask you a personal question?"

"Go ahead."

"Aren't you married to Cassie's father?"

"No. When my parents discovered I was in the Corps, they demanded, rightly enough, that I leave a child behind, just in case. Robert was a childhood friend and we liked one another. So we got together and it took six months before I was pregnant. At four months, complications set in and my body was trying to terminate the pregnancy. My mother, who specializes in OB, came to the rescue. She used a variation of Invitro technology, removing the placenta and the baby from my body and placing them in a tank to finish gestation. My heartbeat and voice were recorded to be played continuously. I returned to my training once I recovered from the surgery. But I was there when Cassie was born, a beautiful, healthy baby. Despite the fact that she was raised with a wet nurse, I love Cassie dearly, but I am a Marine first, then a mother, and both she and her father understand this. So you'll just have to be my kids."

"We would be honored to be your kids." Shane sighed. "I should let the next group in."

"Rest up, Shane. I have the feeling things will be getting busy in the near future."

"I will. You too."

Silver nodded and Shane left the room.

Holding open the door, Vansen returned to where the others were waiting. "Ok. I'm done." As West and 'Phousse walked out, she asked, "Hawkes, do you want me to stay?"

Shaking his head, Hawkes gave her a quick smile. "I'm all right. Don't worry about me. I'll meet you for dinner, ok?"

"All right."

Standing at the foot of Silver's bed, West and 'Phousse tried to hide their dismay at how bad she looked.

"I've looked and felt better." Silver gave them a weak smile. "So what brings you to this room of dismal cheer?"

"Silver, we would like to apolo-" started 'Phousse.

"Don't apologize. I think Shane did it enough for the rest of you. So is there anything else?"

"I really like the scarf, Silver. Thank you."

"You're welcome, ''Phousse. It was a gift from a good friend a long time ago. He won't mind my passing it on." Silver shifted and winced. "Damn shoulder."

"Colonel, you missed Christmas." West glanced at 'Phousse, then looked back at Silver. "When you're released, we'd like to give you a small Christmas party."

"I appreciate the gesture, but-"

"Colonel, let us give to you this time." 'Phousse stepped up beside Silver. "You already gave us the two greatest presents possible. Paul and McQueen. Let us show our appreciation, please."

"And the gifts that you left for us, well, we sort of decided to consider them Christmas presents when we agreed to come after you." West moved up and rested his hand lightly on Silver's bad arm. "So, in a sense, you've already given us our gifts."

"Looks like I'm outmaneuvered."

'Phousse smiled. "We were hoping to. Do you mind if we invite the commodore?"

"Of course not."

"Colonel, you're looking a bit tired and Nurse Temple has threatened to suspend our visiting rights if we overtire you. Hawkes is waiting to see you, so we'll go and let him come see you." West nodded at Silver. "We'll come again tomorrow. That way the colonel can stay for the evening visiting hours."

'Phousse smiled at him. "Haven't seen the colonel since breakfast when we got the letters from Paul."

"Griffon brought my letter early this morning. I haven't watched it yet." Silver sighed. "I figure I can wait a bit. He only knew me for a short time."

"Paul is different from others. Hell, for months, he was carrying on a love affair over the Space Net. Never could understand that." West shook his head. "But he is smart and observant. You might be surprised at what he has to say."

"All right. I'll watch it later tonight."

"Let's go." 'Phousse headed for the door.

As West joined her, Silver heard 'Phousse say quietly, "Now all we have to do is talk the others into this idea."

Silver smiled with a soft chuckle. She closed her eyes and, after a moment, sensed another person enter quietly, keeping the door from swinging shut swiftly. "It's all right, Hawkes. I'm just resting my eyes. Come sit down, please."

Whisper soft steps and then he was sitting on her good side. "Colonel, I need to talk to you."

"What about?"

"You and the colonel."

"Yes?" Silver opened her eyes and settled her gaze on his face. "Go on."

"You hurt him on the shuttle, didn't you?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"And you expect him to be interested in you after that?"

"I think I can see what you're after, Hawkes." Silver sighed. "It's a difficult thing to explain. But I'll try. I'm not sure how much I should tell you, but I need you to understand one thing. Whatever I tell you must not be told to anyone else. Is that acceptable?"

"Not even McQueen?"

"I'll tell him myself."

Hawkes met her eyes steadily. "Ok. I'm listening."

"Vampires like myself originated on the far side of this galaxy. So, yes, there are other races out there. On that far planet in the dim past, possibly five million years ago, two creatures for reasons unknown became joined. One resembles the four footed form you saw me in. It is like any other mammalian creature. It eats, sleeps, procreates, and dies. The other was a viral parasite that thrived on the life force of its host and drove its host to seek out other life force. Somehow, again for reasons we never understood, the relationship changed from a parasitic one to a symbiotic one. Do you understand the difference, Hawkes?"

Hawkes frowned, thinking it over. "Parasitic is one organism preying on another without benefit to the one it preys on. Symbiotic is both organisms benefit from the relationship."

"Good enough. The four footed organism provided the body; the viral organism provided the drive to hunt and kill for the life force. The symbiotic relationship changed both creatures, creating a new whole that was more intelligent and getting more so. Over another million years or so, this new creature learned how to use tools and how not to kill in order to get its life force. Without getting into a long lecture about it, vampires evolved into an upright, tool using, space faring race. I won't go into the reasons why, but ten thousand years ago, vampires were forced to flee their home world and wander the galaxy. Almost thirteen hundred years ago, my ancestors crashed on Earth. We changed our shape to conform and disappeared into humanity, keeping our family units together, bringing in humans as needed. The majority of us have never killed another human as a vampire. It is considered the vilest act one of us can do. That is where the legend comes from. The blood sucking killing machine is what an evil vampire becomes. Fortunately, they are rare. Unfortunately, the couple that existed in the past got a lot of press coverage and the legends spread, giving the rest of us a bad name. Sort of like the way people treat you for what the Invitro platoons did in general."

"I get it."

"Thought you might."

"You still haven't explained why he should want to come back to you."

Silver smiled. "I'm getting there. Now remember a vampire is two organisms in the same body. The viral part craves life force and the physical part gets that life force to feed the viral part. Think of a vampire as a lot like yourself, Hawkes. Certain things are hardwired in."

"Blood and sex. I heard that part as they were talking to McQueen on the transport."

"Right. Vampires are born, just like any other natural creature, and I'm not saying you're not natural. That's another discussion for another time. Vampires learn how not to kill when drinking from others when they reach their adolescence years. We learn how to control the craving the viral part demands and how to feed it so that we gain the most benefit from the partnership."

"What benefits?"

"Hawkes, you know you were designed to try and replace members of the Black Forces, don't you?"

"There were rumors about that. But the rumors said that the tanks that were tested against the Black Forces all failed."

"Do you want to know why?"

"Yes."

"Because most of the Black Forces are vampires. And just like you, we have better reflexes, sight, hearing, strength, you name it and it's better. Except perhaps in the sex department. And frankly, I prefer tanks as sexual partners. You have better endurance and stamina than normal humans as well as being better built. The reason we are so much better than normal humans is because it is the edge that the viral portion gives us. But there is a price to pay for that edge. When a vampire becomes badly injured, with little to feed on, the viral hunger starts to dominate. It becomes harder and harder for the vampire to control the hunger. The worst the injuries, the harder it is to control the hunger. All the hunger knows is that in order to heal, it needs to feed."

"And that's where you were."

"And still am. Only I've been fed enough that the hunger is just barely controllable again." Silver closed her eyes briefly. "Imagine yourself as being extremely thirsty and you know that every person you see is a possible well to drink from, only you can't do it without permission and none of them are likely to give you that permission. What do you do?"

Hawkes answered slowly, working it out verbally. "You either die from lack of water, take from them forcibly or you ask everyone if you can drink from them. But then, with either of the last two options, they then know what you are and will react in fear because they think you will drink them dry."

"Right. So, I was in even more difficulty than that. Have you ever been so thirsty that when you finally found water, you just drank and drank until you couldn't any more?"

"Yes."

"Did you try to control your urge to drink?"

"No."

"Do you think you could have?"

"No." Hawkes frowned. "That's where you were? So thirsty, so hungry, that you couldn't stop yourself?"

"Yes. And what would happen to the person I drank from?"

"They would die."

"Right. So I had to try to control the urge to feed, not very successfully at times. But I forced the hunger to stop before it killed him."

"Does he know how close you came to killing him?"

"I'm sure he does. He was conscious while I was feeding and fighting to regain control. I'm not very proud of what happened on the return trip, but I did manage to control the hunger so that I didn't kill anyone. It could have happened and it would have been easy to do. A vampire in the state I was in... let's just say they can easily become a killing machine. Losing that battle drags a vampire down into darkness. I walk in the gray areas enough as it is. I don't need the blackness any closer."

"So, it was the hunger that was hurting him."

"Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"I was also hurt and ticked off at the way he treated me."

"We weren't any better." Hawkes stared at the floor for a moment. "Silver, how did you heal McQueen in the cavern? Why did he heal so quickly? Why didn't he walk off that transport looking like death warmed over?"

"Another benefit of the viral part. When I drink from people on a regular basis, I give blood back. This exchange of blood satisfies the hunger and allows the viral partner to benefit the other person, temporarily. Enforced speed healing is one of the benefits. If McQueen decides to bond with me, then he will drink on a regular basis and all of his senses will receive a boost, making him damn near as sharp as a vampire."

"Bond?"

"It is a link between a vampire and a regular donor. Some vampires like to bond so tightly that they can't separate even for a day, definitely not my style. If McQueen bonds with me, I will be able to, if I want to, separate out his heartbeat from thirty or forty other people in the same room or within a hundred feet, even through a steel bulkhead. I will know if something like Danson happens again. I will know if he is alive or dead, even if he were on Earth and I were here. And he could do the same, if he wanted to. And we could always know where the other one was, at least generally, if desired."

"Have you bonded with McQueen?"

"Yes, the lowest possible bond. All it does is mark him as claimed so that no other vampire will touch him. It is something that only another vampire can sense."

"How many regulars do you need?"

"The more the better." Silver frowned. "I know that was facetious, but it is accurate. On the Ticondaroga, I had twenty-five regulars at one time. Most of the time it was around ten. This allowed me to drink from a different three every day, giving the others the chance to recover before I drank from them again. Here on the Toga-"

"You've been on worse than half rations."

"Yes. Drinking from the others one a day. Even if McQueen bonds to me, that still leaves me short even of half rations. But I have to pick my regulars carefully."

"What is the downside to being a regular?"

"The biggest one is being bonded to a vampire. It depends on how that person feels about the idea. Otherwise, a regular sees only benefits."

Hawkes leaned back in his chair, silent for a long moment. "Am I acceptable as a regular?"

Silver drew a sharp breath. "It is not something to jump into, Hawkes. You better think about it seriously."

"I have been."

"And for a lot longer. This will change the relationship you have with the rest of the squad. Are you prepared for that?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

The door swung open and McQueen strode in. "And this is a discussion that will be held at a later time."

"Hm, been listening long?" Silver gave McQueen a hard look.

"Since making him promise not to tell anyone."

"Basically the entire discussion. Well, at least I don't have to repeat myself."

"Hawkes, is there anything else you'd like to talk to Silver about?"

Nodding, Hawkes rose. "Silver, will you be our mother?"

Despite the absolute seriousness of his tone and look, she couldn't stop a single burst of laughter from escaping. "Hawkes, you are the absolute be-all and end-all. Come here." As he approached with a puzzled look, Silver pulled him down to her and kissed his forehead. "Yes, Cooper Hawkes, I will be your mother if you want me to be."

"What about the others?"

"It is their decision, Hawkes. I can't be something they don't want me to be. Don't worry about it. Now, why don't you go on out? Should be dinner time soon."

"Ok." Almost to the door, Hawkes spun around. "But you already act like McQueen toward the others."

"It has to be their decision, Hawkes."

Hawkes nodded. The door swung shut behind him.

"How do you feel?" Silver watched McQueen approach her bed, seeing he moved easily.

"Fine. Griffon and I broke the bond. But you know that already. How badly did you tear into him, Silver?" McQueen sat to her left on the bed.

"Enough."

"It'll be after you're released that you'll go after him, right?"

" Yes. He knows better." Silver caressed his cheek and smiled when he kissed her palm.

Returning the smile, McQueen leaned over and kissed her.

"And who is this I smell on you?" she asked softly. "Ross?"

"Repayment of a very old debt."

"You don't have to explain anything. I'll never ask you to confine yourself to only one lover. After all, I can't be monogamous, there's no reason for you to be. Just stay away from other vampires."

"And how would I know who they are?"

"Right now, you can't."

"I have a great many questions, but I'll wait until we can talk privately." He kissed Silver lightly and sat in the chair, pulling it up next to the bed and leaning on the bed. "I take it that Hawkes was the last of the squad."

"Yes. Each and every one, except for Hawkes, has apologized to me. But I think the topic of conversation will serve."

"So things are resolved for the moment."

"I guess so. Be warned. West and 'Phousse want to throw me a Christmas party."

"You did miss out this year. For us, it was a quiet one for a change. No fighting on our front."

"Good."

"But we were missing two members." McQueen paused. "They sent presents to Wang."

"And you?"

"A message."

"Oh, lord. If it went anything like the ones you sent us, it was exceedingly short and terse."

McQueen saw the sparkle in her eyes. "Well, I limited myself to one page. But I filled it."

"At least I know they didn't send him any bunny slippers."

McQueen smiled at the idea. "Have you read his message?"

"Not yet. I thought I would do it later."

"Neither have I." McQueen touched her good hand and felt encouraged that she twined her fingers in his. "Ross will be by after dinner. He was helping me figure out how to write the mission report. We drifted onto the subject of you and I realized something I had missed. And I learned something new about my good friend."

"Nothing bad, I hope?"

"No. Just unexpected." McQueen fell silent for a moment. "Would you like some books?"

"It would be appreciated. I can only sleep for so long."

"Does get rather tedious." McQueen smiled, remembering his own times in Sickbay. "I'll bring some by after dinner."

By the time Nurse Temple arrived to shoo visitors out, McQueen had a mental list of items to bring with him.

"On my way, nurse." McQueen rose. "See you after dinner."

Silver watched him leave, enjoying the sight of him striding out. She caught the admiring look Temple gave McQueen's back. "Quite a sight, hm?"

The nurse met Silver's gaze. "Quite a catch for someone."

"I'm hoping for myself."

"Good luck. He's always had trouble with the women around here. They go after him because they consider him a trophy, another notch in their belts. He isn't a person to them."

"Or they consider him untouchable because of his being a tank. I know the feeling." Silver nodded. "But I want the man, just the way he is."

When McQueen returned to Silver's room after having eaten with the squad, he heard voices and paused outside the room.

"Commodore, you've been a good and loyal friend to McQueen. Such friendship is rare."

"It was a chance I took a long time ago. The rewards were well worth the time and effort it took to convince him I was serious about being a friend."

"Yes. He can be extremely stubborn about accepting friendship or help."

"That's him." After a short pause, Ross continued. "Silver, what are your plans for McQueen?"

"There's that friendship rearing its head." Silver chuckled. "Relax, commodore. My intentions are honorable. I know that's usually the man's line. But it's probably appropriate in my case. I can't offer him more than consort, but to my family that's as binding on my part as marriage is to most humans. If I take him as my primary consort, it is my choice and my family will honor it as such and do everything in their power to support him. He receives full benefits as my survivor and my family will make sure he never has to face the world alone. No questions asked. It's just the way we work."

"First, drop the rank. We are talking as friends, I hope."

"I'd like to think so."

"Good. Second, primary consort?"

McQueen could sense her smile in her words. "Yes. Primary consort. Due to what I am, I can't have a marriage like most humans. To maintain a healthy level, which I have not since arriving on the Toga and it isn't your fault or McQueen's, I need at least ten individuals. But as you can guess, finding those individuals is a tricky proposition."

"I can see that. Not many would embrace what you are without some reservations."

"Speaking of which, you seem to be quite comfortable with the idea, Ross."

"Let's just say that I've had my world view changed any number of times in my life. After AIs and Chigs, what's finding out that vampires are real?"

"True. Just wish more felt that way."

"Eventually, but I suspect first will come equal rights for the Invitroes."

"With any luck. Both McQueen and Hawkes will be forced into the forefront of that bitter battle, I'm afraid, whether they want to be or not."

Ross turned back to the original topic. "Your family will have no problem with accepting McQueen?"

"The ones that matter already have. My parents both admire him from the time he was there. They wrote me saying that he was more than worthy of joining the family. Not that their opinion really mattered to me. The one I had my doubts about was my daughter, Cassie. But she thinks he's a hunk with a brain. The best combination there is." Silver laughed. "And my daughter does not fall easily."

"Like her mother."

"Perhaps."

McQueen wondered at the hint of sadness.

"What is it, Silver?"

"Vampires know that every soul has a mate. All our lives we search for that other soul. Few are lucky enough to find their soul mate. Sometimes, it takes lifetimes to find them."

"Lifetimes?"

"I've lived at least five times, all of them on Earth and not all as a vampire. Each time, I've been a warrior. Once, I held my soul mate in my arms and watched her die only seconds later, taken by a Nazi bullet. I tore the soldier apart in my grief and rage. None of the other times did I come close."

Ross took a sharp breath. "Until now."

"Until now."

"And that's why you've been so careful around him."

"As a vampire, I know immediately. So few humans can remember past lives. How do you tell a man who has been told all his life he has no soul that not only does he have one, but that he's lived several lives already?"

"I have no idea."

McQueen leaned against the wall, stunned. He blinked rapidly, realizing the explanation for at least one thing. Why he had trusted Silver within a day of meeting her now made sense. His soul had recognized her, but this life had conditioned him to question and refuse help.

"He should be here soon. I suspect he ate with the squadron."

"It's been good to see him interacting with them so much outside of missions. Silver, I know I'm jumping the gun here, but when you're cleared for light duty, I would like you to be on the bridge during combats, whether McQueen is there or not."

"In what capacity?"

"You and McQueen appear to work well both as a team and separately. I would like that to continue."

McQueen pushed into the room, his sack of goodies under his arm. "Sorry, I'm late. Took longer to round everything up than I thought. Would like what to continue, Glen?"

"The two of you working on the bridge, either together or separately."

"Sounds good to me." McQueen walked over to the side of the bed.

"It's definitely better than sitting in my quarters going mad." Silver eyed the bag tucked under McQueen's arm suspiciously. "Just what did you bring?"

"Some books, a chess board, a deck of cards, and a computer pad. Plus a couple of other things for later." McQueen set the bag down on the stand and pulled three books out. "I don't know if you've read them already, but I found these tucked away on a back shelf in the library. An author by the name of McCaffrey."

"Yes, yes, yes."

McQueen smiled slightly at the glow in her eyes.

"I read her over and over. Which ones?"

"They all have dragon in the title. I figured that was a good sign."

"Definitely. A great series."

"Dragon Flight, Dragon Quest, the White Dragon."

"Perfect." Silver gazed at the books hungrily and with delight. She would enjoy delving back into that world. She glanced up at McQueen. "Do I need to dare you?"

"No. I'll read them when you've finished. I'm learning to trust your book sense."

"Good."

"But I expect you to read a few of mine some time."

"Of course."

"Dragons?" Ross shook his head slightly. "When did you start reading fantasy stuff, Ty?"

With a shrug, McQueen said, "She started me on the Hobbit. Then came Lord of the Rings. I just finished that one a month ago, for the second time. This time I read it, not listened."

"Without all the dramatics of my daughter."

McQueen chuckled, remembering the way Cassie would change her voice and body language for different roles. "She would make a good actor." He sat down.

"Oh, that would go over well with my family." Silver shook her head. "Acting is fine as a hobby, but as a career? Not that I mind. Hell, I joined the Marines."

"I take it soldiering is ranked down there with acting?" Ross chewed on his unlit cigar.

"Oh, no. Soldiering is at least an honorable profession. It is protecting others, like being a policeman or a fireman. And they aren't quite as good as being a doctor these days." Silver smiled sadly. "But then being a family where three quarters of the people are doctors of one sort or another, it does make some sort of sense."

"I suspect Cassie will be a lot like her mother. A non-conformist." McQueen smiled. "I saw a lot of similarities."

"Let's see, that would be: stubborn, arrogant, bossy, and strong willed."

"All good traits in an officer," Ross stated. "Or a doctor."

"But disastrous in a teenager." Silver shook her head. "Fortunately, Cassie seems to have also gotten a healthy dose of common sense."

v McQueen fished out the cards. "If we're going to talk, let's at least play some poker."

"Good idea. Ross, would you please get me some water?"

"Certainly."

Two hours later, McQueen sat wondering about Silver. Her playing struck him as erratic, not what he had expected. Sitting back, he spotted the painkiller being pumped into her IV line and understood. He opted for three cards. "Silver, would the drugs affect anyone who drank from you?"

"Yes, part of the reason for Griffon. He's providing both for me and for the others. When I can stay off the painkillers for a while, I'll be ready for the exchange."

"But you won't be ready for the sex," pointed out Ross.

"You'd be surprised what a bit of determination can do." Silver shared a look with McQueen.

After a second, McQueen asked, "Ross, in or what?"

"Three hundred."

"Hm. Must be a good hand. Only two cards. Three fifty." Silver folded her cards together and set them on the table.

As her eyes closed, McQueen said, "Four hundred."

"Four fifty."

"Five." Silver opened her eyes, watching them both.

"Call."

With a grin, McQueen saw he beat them both. "Let's see. That make one thousand pennies you owe me, Glen. And seven fifty from you, Silver."

"Aren't pennies fun? Bet by the hundreds and you don't lose your shirt." Silver chuckled. "Of course, I wouldn't mind if you did lose your shirts." She included Ross in her mischievous look.

Ross bent his head, paying more attention than necessary to gathering the cards. "One more hand. I still have that damn inventory to finish tomorrow." He started shuffling.

"Have I made you uncomfortable, Ross?" Silver tried to move her right hand toward him and grimaced at the pain. "I didn't mean to."

"It's just- I'm not used to-"

"A woman admitting she likes looking at the handsome men she's around?" Silver smiled. "It's ok. Ross, I will never do anything that you don't want. I can keep from including you in such moments."

For a long moment, Ross studied Silver. "Just keep it private."

"Of course."

Ross dealt the next hand. At the end, Ross had reduced what he owed McQueen to two hundred and fifty pennies and Silver actually owed him three hundred. As he once more gathered the cards, Ross said, "Silver, I meant what I said. I want you on the bridge, at least until you're fully healed."

"I know. I'll be there." Silver sighed.

The cards neatly stacked, Ross handed them to McQueen. "Good night, Ty."

"Good night, Glen."

"Good night, Ross."

"Good night, Silver. And heal up quickly."

McQueen sat quietly watching Silver as her eyes closed. He waited several minutes before saying, "Soul mates."

"You have got to stop eavesdropping. Didn't anyone ever tell you it's a bad habit?" She opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

"But I seem to discover the most interesting things when I do." Grinning, McQueen crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. "It does explain a couple of things. Especially why I trusted you so quickly."

"That was quickly?"

He grinned. "Physically. I don't like being touched; Silver, not by just anyone. And yet I not only allowed you to give me a massage within twenty-four hours of meeting you, but I turned complete control over to you during it. I do not do that." McQueen shook his head.

"I understand what you're saying. Could you please get me some water?"

"Of course." McQueen rose and refilled the glass. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to hear the full story, but I am pleased to know I do have a soul, even if it has lived before. And I don't want to get into a religious discussion right now."

"Neither do I." Silver sipped her water, letting her eyes close.

"Shall I get a nurse?" He saw the pain in her face. "You were hiding the pain from Ross."

"He doesn't need to worry about me. And no, don't get the nurse. I just need a few minutes of rest. Don't go anywhere, hm?" She set the glass on the table, eyes still closed.

"I'll be right here... Lysa"

Taking the cards, McQueen put them on the stand next to the books. He sat down with the computer pad and started writing his mission report. With occasional glances at her, McQueen knew when she slipped into sleep. Half an hour later, he had finished a rough draft of the report.

"And what has you so busy?'

"The mission report." He saved and set it aside. "Feel better?"

"At least up to a game of chess. Maybe even two. I don't expect to win."

"Not a chess player?"

"Not a very good one." She laughed quietly. "Surprising, considering my abilities as a tactician and strategist."

Setting up the travel sized magnetic board, McQueen said, "It's been a while since I played, so we'll see who wins."

A hard won battle thirty minutes later; McQueen put the chess pieces away. "I brought a reader for you."

"Thanks. Set it on the table, please. Good game."

Doing so, McQueen asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No. I'm not ready to read it yet. Some Bach would be nice about now."

"To soothe the battle scars? You fought hard."

"Still lost."

"So? Think of it as only one battle in the war. Tomorrow you might win."

Silver snorted and grimaced. "Damn shoulder and ribs."

Reaching into the bag, McQueen brought out a disc and slipped it into the player. The strains of Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring on organ filled the room. He watched as the lines of strain around Silver's mouth eased slightly.

"Where did you get that? You didn't have much in the music department before."

"Finch. I borrowed it from her. While you were gone, I started listening. I've placed a few orders of my own."

"You don't have to, you know." Silver met his gaze steadily.

"I know. I want my own copies." McQueen smiled. "I've always liked Bach. I found I like Vivaldi, Mozart, and Beethoven. Russell has continued to introduce Hawkes to various, ah, what did he call them?" Frowning, McQueen racked his memory. "Right, rock and roll bands."

"That's Russell. I decided that those two had pretty similar musical tastes. Russell has more variety, but then he's been alive a while longer."

McQueen pondered the wisdom of what he was going to say next, but decided to broach the subject anyway. "Hawkes was taking, I'd have to say, lessons from Finch, Russell, and St. John."

"Lessons? I take it they weren't singing lessons."

Shaking his head, McQueen said, "And they weren't lessons of war."

"That leaves bedroom lessons. They are good teachers." Silver smiled. "Are you worried about it?"

"No. It's just hard to explain. I found them all in the shower together."

"Must have been interesting."

"That is one way of putting it." McQueen paused, rallying his thoughts. "Do you know Hawkes' history?"

Silver nodded. "Some, any way, enough to reason out his behavior. I know he left the facility early and I gather from remarks Russell has let drop that the Monitors were going to kill him for asking who monitored the Monitors. He survived on the streets for several years, doing odd jobs. Then some co-workers tried to kill him and it was Hawkes who got caught. The judge sentenced him to the Corps."

"That's it in a nutshell. But he was also subjected to a lot of the same things I was." A shudder coursed through McQueen at the memories. "You have a good idea of what I mean."

"Yes. And I still intend to get you to talk about it. Have to work on those nightmares."

Curtly, McQueen nodded. "Hawkes' past makes it difficult for him to trust others, especially when it comes to sex. Yet those three somehow managed to earn that trust and Hawkes gave himself freely. Do you realize what that entails?"

"I think so. I had to earn their trust all those years ago and there was only one of me. But it was worth the effort."

"How did you survive?"

Frowning slightly, Silver shifted position. "It was difficult. I lucked out that most of the planets we fought on were marginally habitable and had some sort of warm blooded life."

"So you would disappear and hunt?"

"Yes. It was Jackson who found out about me first. The man had the soul of an artist and he was in the Marines." Silver shook her head. "He started following me around, unobtrusively he thought. I managed to lose him before I went hunting most of the time. Then once he actually came across me gutting an animal I'd brought down. There I was crouched, naked as a jaybird, cutting open a creature twice my size. I'd already taken as much of its life force as I could and killed it."

"What did he do?"

"He stared at me and asked if I was another experiment. I decided to be blunt and said that no I wasn't. I was a vampire. He looked at me strangely and walked away. I found out later he waited until he could get to the library and he looked up vampires. Then he came to my quarters and asked me all sorts of questions. In the end, he asked to become a remal. That's our word for those who we drink from. It actually has more to it than that. He sounded out several of the others, including the three you know. He made good choices. I was able to cover a lot of it by conducting singing lessons, reading sessions, and other activities in my quarters. A bit harder here."

"When did he die?"

"Deimos."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He volunteered to go down on Deimos. And I fully agreed with the decision to go to Ixion. We had to take it."

"We lost so many lives, though."

"And we'll lose a lot more before the war is over. World War II cost Earth seventeen million military men in less than six years. In two years we've lost, what, five million? Out of how many billion? The only way we can cut this war short is to gear up the entire planet, produce more soldiers, ships and equipment, and bury the Chigs under the tidal wave. Unfortunately, with AeroTech's fingers in the political pie, that isn't going to happen. So, a lot of lives will be lost before this war is ended."

The bitterness in her voice echoed the bitterness he felt toward AeroTech. The damned AeroTech CEOs had known that the two colonies were going into Chig territory and that the Chigs had warned Earth not to invade their territory. Hell, AeroTech had known about the Chigs before the colonies had been sent out. But they had wanted a war as a way to get authorization to research into some shady areas. And it gave them a reason to continue producing Invitroes.

McQueen forced his thoughts back to Silver. "We need to talk. And I'm not sure how to say what I need to." He sat up straight, trying to meet her eyes and having difficulty.

"Which subject do you want to tackle first?" Silver took his right hand in her good one. "I'll not hold how you say something against you. Just don't take offense if I rephrase your words, hm?"

McQueen shook his head; pleased she had taken his hand. "First, are you willing to stay? I mean, with the 58th? And me?"

"Triple yes."

"Do you want to stay?"

"Yes. Easy one."

"I wasn't sure. And let me say it again. I'm sorry about the way I treated you. It was extremely rude and thoughtless of me." He hoped his contriteness showed.

She squeezed his fingers. "Apology accepted and I won't hold it over your head."

"Thank you." McQueen took a deep breath, not sure he was ready to delve into the next topic. "Just what does consort entail?"

"No more eavesdropping, Ty."

He nodded once sharply.

"If you hear a subject that you want to know more about, ask me. I will not take offense, no matter how it may seem. I will always give you an answer, sometimes it may take a day or two, but I will answer your question. My promise."

"I can live with that."

"Because of our particular needs, vampires don't practice monogamous marriage exactly. For appearance's sake, we pick a primary opposite and declare that one to be our spouse.' And they are for the most part exactly that, our husband or wife, our primary spouse. The one we come back to every night. The one we want to spend time with. But when you need roughly ten individuals to keep you healthy, monogamy just doesn't cut it. We prefer for our close circle to be those we care for, want to have children with, sort of an extended family with multiple spouses. And a lot of times, the regulars take a primary among the circle."

"Was Cassie's father a consort?"

"No. I am truly fond of Robert. He is a good friend and a great father to Cassie, but I never offered him the position of consort. I've never offered it to anyone. And I haven't actually offered it to you, either."

"I know. I need to understand, though." McQueen hesitated. "Would Robert be a member of your circle?"

"No. Though I would consider him a second tier circle. Just outside the immediate one."

"Is Cassie a vampire?"

"Don't know yet. She's pretty close to the age when I started showing signs. But vampires mating with other vampires do not usually make other vampires. It tends to make remal, those who are born with the viral symbiote, but it never becomes fully active. Remal are members of our family, our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and family. For them, sharing blood with a vampire gives them the edge. Their symbiote never activates, but it allows them to retain the edge for longer and they make great mates. Vampire to vampire, you usually get one out of four being a vampire. Vampire to remal, you tend to get half and half, same with remal and remal. My family clan is a bit unusual. My father, a vampire, married my mother, a remal, and every single one of their four children turned out vampires."

McQueen's gaze dropped to their joined hands. "Lysa, why do you say either McQueen or use my full name?"

"You've never given me permission to do otherwise."

His gaze narrowed in a frown. "Permission?"

"It is considered bad manners among my family to call someone by a nickname or a shortened version of their name without their permission."

"No one has ever asked my permission. Not even Glen."

"But I bet he made sure you were comfortable with his using Ty."

McQueen thought back to the early times with Ross and realized that, in a way, Ross had asked permission. "He asked if I was ok with him calling me Ty."

"And you answered him?"

"Only in private. But over the years, he's used it in other circumstances and I haven't objected." He met her eyes.

Silver nodded.

"What do you want to call me?"

"Ty would be good. Short and easy."

"Then please do so."

"Very well."

"Is it all right if I call you Lysa?"

"It is my name, Ty. And I haven't objected to you using it before now."

"I need to know for certain. I have the feeling I'm in an emotional minefield and I am trying to avoid the mines."

Silver smiled at the image. "You're doing ok. No need to kick your butt."

"Thanks, I think." His smile faded. "Lysa, there are a lot of things we need to talk about, but I think I better call it quits for the night. After I've had some time to think through what I've learned tonight, I'll be ready to continue. I'll be here tomorrow some time. I'm giving the squad some time off until the day after tomorrow. Then it's back to the regular schedule, except that they're not on flight duty for a week."

"Good idea. Try to get some sleep."

"I'll try." McQueen stood up, still holding her hand. "Lysa, I really want to try to make a relationship with you. How far this relationship will go, I don't know right now. Can you accept that?"

"Yes."

With a sigh of relief, McQueen leaned over and kissed her. He cradled her head between his hands and tried to tell her with the kiss how serious he was. Her good hand curled around his neck, avoiding the raised neck navel.

When he broke off for air, McQueen smiled gently. "Hope that helps with the pain a bit."

"Very nice." A satisfied look shone in Silver's eyes. "Go to bed, Ty."

"Night, Lysa."

"Night, Ty."

In his quarters, McQueen sat down at his desk, Wang's letter in hand. He slipped the disc into the optical reader and smiled at the familiar face that appeared. Before activating the letter, he studied the face, seeing that the lines of pain had eased considerably. Paul seemed to have recovered from the intense sessions.

He activated the letter. Paul's rich voice filled the room.

Dear Colonel McQueen,

I've started this letter several times since you left. Each time I decided it was too emotional. But I finally decided it had to be.

Sir, thank you. Thank you for sharing with me about the AIs breaking you. It really helped. It's taken time, but I can look in the mirror and not see a loser. I can live with myself again.

Thank you for caring. I know and understand that it's difficult for you to express the depth of your caring for us. And that as our commanding officer, many would view it as inappropriate. To hell with them and propriety. The 5-8 is different than other units. What makes us so, I don't know. My knowing that you cared for us and for me really helped me get through this exhausting regeneration process.

At first I know I had to provide the anchor for you. And the fact you let me, well, sir, it meant a lot to me. I know you felt uncomfortable about needing me and you retreated from the physical contact, but you still hung onto my hand, allowing me to know you still needed me there.

And you were there for me. You could have left me to finish my testing alone. But you stayed, holding my hand and talking to me. I've probably got most of those Sonnets memorized now. So, thank you for caring.

You also helped me find a way to get through the time after you were gone. Using the letters from the gang was a great idea. I have them all memorized, but I still play them, needing to see their faces. I just wish I had one from you.

I'll start wrapping this up, sir. Thank you for everything. Always coming through for us in the end. It wasn't your fault the so-called 'peace talks' failed so disastrously. It wasn't your fault I nearly died. It wasn't your fault Vansen and 'Phousse were shot down. So don't feel guilty about any of it.

Take care of the gang for me. Especially Colonel Silver. I don't know what it is about her, but don't let her get away. Not from the unit, or from you. I can't explain it, but I feel she is important to the survival of the 58th, emotionally and physically. Take care of her, sir. Be there for her, sir.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Love,

Paul Wang'

McQueen blinked back tears. Before he could reject the idea, he removed Paul's disc and slipped a clean one in. He hit the record and once the green light showed started speaking.

Dear Paul,

I've just finished your letter. It is I who should thank you. I know there were times I came down hard on you. I felt I had to. I should have said this before I left and I can tell from your letter that you understand why I didn't, but I need to tell you now. Thank you. Thank you for promising to be there during the regeneration. Thank you for keeping me grounded and sane during those initial few sessions. The only reason I survived them was because of you. Thank you for accepting what little I could offer in return.

I'll take care of the 58th to the best of my ability and as the war allows. Colonel Silver included." A single tear escaped and McQueen did not brush it away. "Thank you, Paul. And... I love you, kid."

Hitting the stop button, McQueen saved the recording on the disc. He resolutely went about the process of preventing erasure and packaged it to be mailed. With a determined look, McQueen wrote a quick note and stuck it on the small package.

"Don't chicken out. Send it."

Next : Chapter Ten
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