Author's notes: This story is rated PG-13, for adult themes and language. Creative consultant: Mike Lee. Thanks to the space-l mailing list, which inspired this story. As always, many, many thanks to my beta readers, Claudia Patarra, and Susi Patzke, who have patiently tolerated silly questions and misspelled names!
From a Distance, lyrics and music by Julie Gold, copyright 1987 by WING AND WHEEL MUSIC & JULIE GOLD MUSIC (BMI) all rights administered by IRVING MUSIC, INC. (BMI) All rights reserved. Used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Up Where We Belong, lyrics by Will Jennings, music by Buffy Sainte-Marie and Jack Nitzsche, copyright 1982 by FAMOUS MUSIC CORPORATION and ENSIGN MUSIC CORPORATION. All rights reserved. Used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.



Part Three

It soon became obvious that they weren't going to be able to outrun the Silicates. McQueen and Lucas began looking for a good place to make their stand, and found it in a large storage area. The AIs would have to cross an open area to get to them, and they had good cover behind some heavy ore crates. They hid and waited, it wasn't long until the AIs walked into the ambush.

Kylen felt her throat close off as she recognized one of them, a Julio model. "Rosie, that's the same one."

She nodded. "Yeah, he's still got that ripped place on his shoulder I gave him. That's him all right."

At that, the two Marines opened fire. They had taken positions far enough apart that they had the area in front of the hatch covered in a crossfire.

Most of the AIs fell immediately, but a tear gas grenade went off, choking them and obscuring the area. They retreated out the far end of the chamber, hurrying along until they got to clear air. Rosie and Kylen found themselves almost completely incapacitated by the gas. Their eyes burned and flooded with tears so they couldn't see, and it made them sick. McQueen and Lucas had experience with it and weren't affected as badly.

They took cover around a corner, and waited for the mine's ventilation to clear the gas away. Rosie and Kylen slowly recovered, but the gas had really made Rosie sick. McQueen asked her, "Can you breathe okay? Any swelling in your throat?"

She shook her head.

"Probably not a severe allergy then. We're affected worse, you'll be okay once you breathe fresh air for a while."

"Can't see a damn thing."

"It goes away."

She nodded. "Do you think you got them all? I don't hear anything moving in there."

McQueen said, "Give it a few more mikes. If there are any still in there, they can't sit still too long ... they'll have to 'take a chance.' "

Kylen wiped her eyes. "The dark-haired one with the torn shoulder, see if you got him. I think he was the one who threw the tear gas. That was Julio, he was one of their leaders -- he and Felicity."

When there was no movement from inside the storage area after a few moments, McQueen told the women to stay there while he and Lucas checked out the situation in the storeroom. Both of them had counted the AIs before they had started shooting, they were both sure there was one missing and none of them had a torn shoulder. It looked like Julio had popped the canister of tear gas and made himself scarce. McQueen hoped Vansen had secured the detonators or this could be a real short mission, once that AI reported in...!

They got back to Kylen and Rosie and kept moving. By then, Rosie could see a little bit, but Kylen still had to help her along, and she was still out of breath herself. McQueen realized the two women couldn't go much further without a rest. Stopping for a little while and letting them recover from the tear gas was the only real option.

Then, they had their first real break. Kylen recognized an intersection. "Okay, I know where we are now. The cellblock is down there, and we worked a vein of ore up here."

McQueen said, "Let's see that."

It was a large area, the POWs had done a lot of digging in the months they were here. There was lots of cover, from columns left to support the roof and two-meter-high piles of scrap rock. Lucas took a guard post just inside the entrance, where he could duck quickly out of sight.

Rosie lay down, shut her burning eyes. Within a few minutes she was unconscious. Kylen checked to be sure she was still breathing without difficulty, the examination didn't waken her. Kylen gave McQueen a concerned look, he didn't seem to be as badly affected by the tear gas as Rosie had been. "Did that stuff make you sick too? If you want to get some rest, I'll be awake."

He shook his head. "I'd never rest down here," he told her quietly.

"Reminds you too much?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah. I hate being underground."

She nodded, and tried to figure out if her eyes hurt worse open or closed. When it didn't seem to make a difference either way, she just lived with it. Either it would get better or it wouldn't and there was nothing she could do about it either way. After a while, she pointed out a big pile of rocks. "Right over there was where Theresa and Joanie Becker committed suicide. They found a sharp piece of metal, and when the AIs weren't looking they ducked behind the rocks and cut their wrists. I don't know how long they were back there ... it must have been a while. They were dead by the time anyone noticed they were even gone. Rosie and I had to stop some of the others ... Rosie dropped the piece of metal down that hole over there to keep some of the others from doing the same thing." She looked up at him with eyes that still saw this tunnel full of the enemy. "They gave Rosie and me to Elroy that night and most of the next day for letting them kill themselves. But Teri and Joanie just ... slipped away ... there was nothing we could have done."

He nodded. "Out of all of us who were sent to Omicron Draconis at the same time I was, only six of us made it out alive. We watched the others die one by one. Accidents, the guards, older tanks, the conditions we lived in -- it was always something. In Vitroes rarely actively commit suicide, we're conditioned against it ... but sometimes people would just ... get tired and quit. It can be a form of suicide to stop fighting to live." He looked around, the tunnel was dimly lit by the eerie red glow of the ore. He thought of something. "Why didn't you tell anyone before about the women who'd committed suicide?"

"We told everyone that they died, we just didn't say how. They both came from a real strict Catholic family -- they were sisters. They believe suicide is a sin, their parents would think they were in hell if they knew." She shook her head. "I think God would understand. This was hell. If there's anything after this life, it has to be better than what we went through here." She leaned her head back against the rocks. "We were right in here most of the time. Every day was pretty much the same, they'd line us up and march us to breakfast then they'd put us to work. That was all day, sometimes we got a break about noon but mostly we could only stop for a minute or two to get a drink of water. The first couple of months, our hands were raw all the time. Handle this stuff for a couple of days, and it takes the skin off." She held out her hands, even in the dim light he could see her palms and fingertips were covered with thick pads of scar tissue. "Finally we toughened up to that. For the first few months, we were always hungry, breakfast was all we got. After that, they started feeding us enough, thank God, or none of us would have made it out. They'd take us back to our cells after that. And, oh God, the nights."

McQueen said, "They'd lock us in a played out tunnel at night, and turn out the lights. To me, Kylen, that's always been the essence of darkness, that first few moments after the lights went out. After a little while, my eyes would adjust to the darkness and I'd be able to see a little light through the gates from the mine shaft outside. But that first little while...."

She nodded, looking at him with complete understanding. "It's never really dark in here, you know. The glow from the ore is really everywhere. After you've been down here for a while, it gets so you even see it through your eyelids with your eyes closed." He looked around, she was right. There were areas of lesser and greater shadow, but there was no real darkness anywhere.

She went on in a low voice. "Every night, they always took one of us ... the chigs wanted to study us, and other times the AIs just ... we didn't know anything valuable to them, and after a few weeks they knew that for sure. They weren't allowed to do anything permanent to us. But they still ... wanted to play. I'm convinced that's what it was. It's like we were mice and they were cats, playing with us."

"I know. I've been a prisoner of the AIs. You'll never convince me they don't think it's entertaining."

She nodded. "We learned, most of the time they'd just grab at random one of the people who ended up nearest the door. So we started making sure that the sickest and the weakest were in the back. No one ever complained -- not once -- when their turn came to be up near the door." Tears started to spill from her eyes, at first McQueen thought it was the gas but then he realized she was crying without even knowing it. "Every night I was up there, I'd wait and I'd pray I wouldn't be the one they took. At first I felt so guilty about that, until I realized we all felt the same way, and I sure didn't blame anyone else for hoping it was me instead of them. I'd lie there and wonder what evil thing I'd done to deserve this happening to me."

"Nothing, Kylen," he said. "You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. There is nothing more to it than that. I know the AIs tried to convince you that you were at fault for what happened to you, but don't you buy into that."

"They said we were the invaders. There were times I believed them."

He reached across to take her small, scarred hand in his. "So did I. If they hurt you long enough and badly enough, Kylen, they can make you believe anything ... for a while. But only for a while -- not forever. It's past. You put it behind you, and you go on. It's that simple."

She regarded him very seriously, considering every word he had said. "I kept hearing all these different things from the doctors and the psychologists. It was like they were saying, you were a victim, now you can be a nice little patient from now on and let us take care of you. I'll be damned! I don't want anyone taking care of me, I want my life back."

"The chigs and the AIs made you into a victim. But that was then. At some point, you're the one who has to decide whether you are going to stay a victim or be a survivor, and there's only so much those doctors can do to help you with that. Finally what it comes down to is, taking a walk through the dark places they left in your soul and turning on a few damn lights. Kylen, you decided to do that when you came back to Kazbek in the first place. It isn't easy, but if you hadn't been strong enough to do that, you'd have been looking for help from somewhere from now on. Now, it starts to get better."

"Do the nightmares ever stop?"

"Completely? No. But they don't happen as often, and you can handle them when they do."

"You're the first person who's ever told me the truth about that."

"I can't explain that one. There's no sense in trying to pretend it's easy. That's as stupid as trying to tell you that you can't do it just because it's hard."

Kylen smiled, and her fingers tightened on his for a moment. "When Nathan asked you to talk some sense into me, I don't think this was exactly what he had in mind, Colonel McQueen ... but thank you just the same."

Lucas called, "Sir! I think I hear someone speaking English up here."

McQueen joined him at the tunnel entrance and listened. He could hear Vansen, he would know her voice anywhere ... but there was no way to be sure how far the sound was carrying in these tunnels. "Stay here with the civilians until I give you the all-clear."

"Yes, sir!"

About fifty meters down the corridor, a narrow hole led off into a low side passage. He stopped, listening intently to find out where the voices were coming from. It was the main passage, he continued on.

Vansen was talking to West and Hawkes, organizing a search of the caverns from an offshoot of the pit. They'd had no idea they were so close. She saw him and said, "Never mind, there he is."

West asked, "Are you okay, sir? Where's Kylen?"

"Back there with Lucas. We took out about half a dozen silicates, only one got away. What's the situation?"

Vansen reported, "Most of the mine is secure, sir. We've got what looks like about fifteen or twenty chigs up near the ceiling, we have them pinned down but we can't get at them. We're trying to figure out how to get to them now without bringing the whole place in on top of us."

"We'll have a look at it as soon as we get the others," he said. "We were only a few hundred meters up this tunnel the whole time."

Lucas was doing exactly what he was supposed to be doing, which was keeping watch up the tunnel, while they waited for McQueen to return. A small sound up the tunnel got his attention. "There any animals down here?"

"Sometimes, things about the size of rats were the biggest we saw," Rosie replied.

"I thought I heard something. Stay here." They did as they were told, watching while Lt. Lucas checked out the sound he'd heard. Kylen and Rosie saw a quick scuffle of movement, then Lucas went down. Rosie moved fast, but however quick an In Vitro was, an AI was faster. A leather-jacketed arm caught her and sent her flying against the wall. Kylen heard her head hit the stone and she fell near Lucas. Right behind Rosie, she skidded to a stop, just out of the AI's reach.

She heard Rosie groan softly, she felt a surge of relief that her friend was still alive. Lucas was curled up around what was apparently a knife wound -- the AI, Julio, was holding a bloody Ka-bar. Lucas's M-590 lay a meter away from him. She was careful not to look at it. "Long time no see, Julio," she commented.

"I can't believe you got up the nerve to come back here."

"Why, sweetie, I missed your company so much I just had to drop in for a visit." Her voice dripped sarcasm. Anger sang along her nerves like a drug, how could she have ever been so afraid of this thing! In five minutes, one of them would be dead ... but she had never been more alive than she was right now.

Lucas tried for his sidearm, he was hurt too badly to ever hope to hit anything but he attracted Julio's attention. Kylen launched herself at the rifle, her hand closed on the grip. Firing an M-590 on full auto wasn't like hunting squirrels in the woodlot with a .22 -- she wasn't prepared for the kick, or how fast the weapon fired -- six or eight rounds tore into the AI, it dropped its knife and fell in a shower of sparks as the weapon tracked up and several more shots hit the ceiling. Ricochets and flying rock went everywhere, something burned Kylen's ear. She finally let go of the grip and drew a deep breath. As she watched, the sparking stopped, leaving the silicate nothing more than a heap of plastic and wire.

McQueen, Hawkes and West had scattered for cover when the shooting started. Kylen looked at them, and just lay there for a few seconds.

A wide, silly grin spread across West's face as he realized she was unhurt. "Anybody got a camera? I'd like a picture of this!"

Kylen reddened. "Get some help! Rosie hit her head, and I think Julio cut Lt. Lucas pretty bad!" At that news, McQueen and the others gathered around Lucas to see how badly he was hurt, while Kylen scrambled to her feet and hurried to check on Rosie. She was okay, at least Kylen was pretty sure she was. She sat down beside her friend and watched McQueen getting Lucas patched up.

Nathan squatted beside her and gently brushed her hair away from her bleeding ear. "Turn your head this way a little, honey. What happened?"

"Something just flew and hit me, I guess. I don't think it's much of anything."

"Well, I'm not much of a medic, so that's okay." He got in a pocket for a dressing and tore open an antiseptic wipe. She hissed but held still while he cleaned up the injury. "Just a scratch," he confirmed as he taped the gauze in place.

"Will Lt. Lucas be okay?"

"It looks like. The bleeding stopped right away. He wouldn't have been if you hadn't taken out that AI. None of us had a shot, we were afraid we'd hit you."

"If I'd known you were there, I'd have been afraid of hitting you! I didn't know it would fire that many times, I don't know how I didn't kill all of us!"

He laughed. "You learn not to let it run away like that, but you got the job done," he grinned.

"Where did you guys come from, what's going on?"

"It's mostly over with, but there are a bunch of chigs up top of the pit, they're a damn nuisance. We have to figure out how to get them down from there without caving the roof in."

"Up top -- let me see where that is! If it's that big ledge, there's another way up there."

Rosie started to get up, but Kylen wouldn't let her. "You got hit on the head, you can't walk around until they scan you to see if you have a fractured skull! Stay put!"

"Don't climb up there yourself!"

"Don't worry, I'm just going to show Nathan how to get to it! I'll come right back. Are you awake enough to know not to take anything unless you're sure what it is?"

Rosie groaned and grabbed the back of her head. "What, you think I'm dumb enough to let somebody poison me? I'll be okay, Kylen, I just got knocked out for a minute."

Kylen told Nathan, "She'll be okay, she's getting grouchy."

They got the mine secured with all of five mikes to spare before the full-scale attack began. Kylen and Rosie were expecting a long drawn out thing, they were surprised at how quickly Kazbek was officially in the hands of Earth forces. The medics who took Lucas off on a stretcher assured them that he was going to be fine, it looked like he was already figuring out how to best turn some light duty time to his advantage. Rosie overheard him mentioning something to Hawkes about pretty nurses, she snickered and passed the comment along to Kylen.

Kylen watched the Earth flag go up over the entrance to the mine and grinned from ear to ear. West came up and put his arm around her. "Did you find what you were looking for down there?"

She nodded. "I think so."

"I understand now why you had to do this. I saw it on your face when you shot that AI."

"Forgive me for disobeying you?"

"I don't think they put 'obey' in the ceremony any more, honey. I guess things like this are why. You knew better than I did."

She slipped her arm around his waist. "You didn't want me to get hurt, Nathan, I can't be upset with you for that. But this was something I had to do. You couldn't do it for me. I was the one who had to find the guts to face the things that they did to me, and the compromises that I made to survive, and walk back down in that mine. If I hadn't ... I think I'd still be a prisoner for the rest of my life."

"You did it," he said. "I am so proud of you, and in awe of you ... I don't think I'd have had the strength to do what you did."

She looked up into his eyes. "I had the strength, because you were right there beside me," she replied. "Your love is my strength. All the time I was held captive, and all these months we've been apart since, you've been my lifeline, Nathan. I wish I had the words to tell you how much I love you."

"Try 'I do,'" he said. "I want to get married on the Saratoga, before you go back to Earth." Nathan suddenly realized that although they had been making wedding plans for years, he had never actually proposed to her. It was just something they had both known. He decided to remedy that omission immediately, he went to one knee and took her hand in his. "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

She smiled and blinked at the tears of joy that suddenly filled her eyes. "Nothing would make me happier, Nathan."

He stood gracefully and drew her into his arms. "Everything that's happened in the past, is past, Kylen. The rest of our lives starts right now."

She stood on tiptoe to kiss him, held him as if she would never let go. "I love you, Nathan."

"I love you," he answered. He bent to kiss her again. Neither of them broke the embrace until they heard a loud round of whistles and applause. They looked up to see the rest of the Wild Cards grinning and laughing -- even Lucas on his stretcher. They reddened and joined in the laughter in spite of themselves, but Nathan made no apologies whatsoever for the proprietary way he put his arm around Kylen and held her to his side. They were both grinning from ear to ear, with their faces still smudged with dirt from the mine. Overhead, the earth flag snapped in the warm breeze, brave blue and white against blue sky and white clouds.

(USS Saratoga, January 2065)
It was a quiet night at Tun's in spite of the crowd. West was a little out of sorts because Kylen and Rosie had disappeared with Vansen and the other female Wild Cards, and left him on his own. They were occupied with whatever mysterious rituals women went through before a wedding. Apparently once a fellow proposed, he'd done his part until it was time to stand up and say "I do." He felt distinctly like a fifth wheel. Hawkes had thought a poker game might cheer him up, they'd come down to Tun's looking for one. Their usual table was taken, but they saw McQueen at the bar and made their way over there.

There were a couple of empty barstools between him and a few people who looked like they'd been there a while already, judging from the empty glasses at that end of the bar. West didn't really pay any attention to them.

Shane had told McQueen about Nathan and Kylen's plans. "Congratulations, son. I know you two have waited a long time for this."

West grinned. "Yes, sir. It wasn't exactly the way we'd planned, but the hell with waiting any longer."

One of the people drinking at the end of the bar staggered and almost fell, the rest found that really hilarious. Hawkes shook his head, he'd have to kill at least a whole bottle to get that drunk.

"Will your folks be upset with you for eloping?" McQueen asked West.

"No, sir. As a wedding present, the squadron pooled their vidphone allotments and put together enough time that our folks will all be able to see the wedding at Kylen's dad's place. He's renting one of those big screen phones for the ceremony."

"The girls kicked you out of the barracks?"

"Yeah, that's the bridal boutique for the time being. Said it would be bad luck if I saw Kylen in her dress before the wedding."

Hawkes said, "We thought we'd get up a poker game."

West heard one of the drunks make a remark and heard Kylen's name, something about how she'd looked when she'd been rescued. West didn't like the tone of voice. He turned around. It was a guy named Pilcher, a regular Marine who didn't like Space Cav. They'd had a few minor run-ins before, nothing of any consequence though. "What was that again?"

"Just that she looked awful ... well fed ..."

West's vision turned red as he realized what the man was implying. He let out a wordless shout as he charged, within seconds the two men were on the deck punching and kicking. West was so mad he didn't know he was getting hit, he came out on top and started slamming his fist into Pilcher as if he was going to drive him through the deck plates. It occurred to Hawkes and McQueen at the same time that this wasn't just a bar brawl, Nathan wasn't going to stop on his own. Coop grabbed him and pulled him off, found himself using all his strength and training to do it. "Nate! That's enough, man, knock it off!"

McQueen yanked Pilcher to his feet and slammed him against the bulkhead. "Now hear this, you son of a bitch, if I ever hear you make a crack like that about Kylen Celina again, you forget about West and you worry about me! Do you understand me, Captain?"

"Sir! Yes, sir!"

"And get this, CFB -- if I ever find out that kind of bullshit got back to Miss Celina, you and I are going to have a discussion about that, too!"

"Sir! Yes, sir!"

"Now haul your sorry ass out of here."

Pilcher was all too glad to have the chance to do that, he'd found out fast that West was nowhere near as harmless as he looked ... especially where an insult to his fiancee was concerned. Much less, he ever wanted similar trouble with McQueen! Stone cold sober and well aware they'd got off easy, he and his friends made themselves scarce.

West's eyes were once again lit with rationality when McQueen turned around, and he was feeling his bruises. But he drew himself to attention and fell back on the extreme formality that so often expressed the strongest emotions. "Sir. The captain wishes to apologize for his behavior, sir."

McQueen replied, "The colonel sees no reason for an apology. The colonel's report will indicate that fact, if such a report becomes necessary."

"Thank you, sir."

McQueen sent them to get Nathan cleaned up, before Kylen happened to see him looking like he'd just come back from a ground-pounder. He gave Coop strict orders to take West straight to sickbay if he turned out to have anything worse than bruises wrong with him. He knew from experience that a person riding an adrenaline high like that could easily overlook a serious injury.

There were times he thought he had heard everything, but that crack had come out of left field ... he had wanted to let that arrogant bastard have a few shots of his own for good measure. Instead, he turned back to the bar and told Willie to set him up. The old man had a grin on his face, but he didn't say a word as he pulled out a bottle of the good stuff from under the bar.

West and Hawkes took a back corridor to the gym, where West had a change of clothes stowed. Coop commented, "Man, are you ever gonna have a shiner."

West winced as he touched his eye. "Oh, hell."

"What'll you tell Kylen? She'll want to know how you got that!"

West shrugged calmly, "I'll tell her the truth. Trust me."

Hawkes gave him a confused look, but let it be. Sometimes you couldn't figure NBs.

A hot shower helped, and West was fairly sure nothing was broken. Hawkes laughed, "Pilcher got the worst end of it. He was falling down drunk."

"Yeah. I really went off at him -- it's a wonder I didn't land us all in the brig."

"Like hell! If someone said that about Christy I'd have done the same thing. But, man, I thought you were gonna kill him."

West thought about it. "Maybe I was, Coop. I'm glad you busted it up."

"Not half as glad as Pilcher."

Kylen tried to see her dress in the head mirror, without much success. "How do you guys get your dress uniforms so neat without a full-length mirror!" She exclaimed.

Lisa laughed. "We help each other," she replied. "That, just like everything else!"

Vanessa opened a carefully folded packet of paper, to reveal a couple yards of white satin ribbon. "I'll braid this in your hair," she smiled. "We couldn't find anything for a veil, but there's a guy down in hydroponics who can do all kinds of flower arrangements. He said he'll make you a floral tiara, you'll look just like a fairy tale princess."

There weren't a lot of wedding gowns on board the Saratoga, but Vansen thought they'd improvised very well with a long white skirt and a silk and lace blouse. "You're going to knock Nathan's socks off when he sees you in that," she teased.

Nita grinned and said, "Well, Major, wait till he sees her in this!" She opened a black paper bag and pulled out a barely-there negligee.

She held it up, and Kylen's eyes widened. "Oh, my gosh!"

"I thought it would fit," Nita said, with a self-satisfied grin.

"Where did you get this!"

Lisa teased Nita, "Did you have anyone special in mind for that?"

"Get real, I couldn't get one leg in that!" Nita snickered. "I wear a large. So happens I knew where to trade for it. Jeez, you people didn't expect her to go to her wedding night in shorts, did you?!!"

Kylen's laughter was half nervousness and half delight. "I don't know if I've got the nerve to go in this, either!"

Lisa exclaimed, "You mean you guys never --!" She shut up in sudden embarrassment to have asked such a rude question, and popped her hand over her mouth.

Kylen shook her head, taking no offense. "When we were kids, we signed a 'True Love Waits' pledge at our church. I never asked him about before that, it's none of my business. But I never worried about afterwards. We both ... take promises seriously."

Vanessa said, "That's so sweet. And it explains a lot about Nathan, too, honey. Marines really get rowdy on leave, but Nathan never got mixed up in any of that kind of stuff. He used to get teased about it. Now it makes sense."

"I know." She smiled. "He never let what anyone else thought bother him." The delicate lace caught on her scarred palm, she carefully detached it to avoid snagging. "I hope he doesn't think--"

Vansen gently turned her hand over, Kylen reflexively closed her hand to hide the scars. She said, "You listen to me, Nathan thinks you are beautiful. He would think you were beautiful if you showed up in BDUs! And as far as this goes ...." Shane unfolded her fingers, still gently, but firmly. "...He won't even see a few scars. No more than you will notice his. Trust me."

Kylen smiled, and held the negligee up to her shoulders, standing on tiptoe to see in the mirror. "Oh, my God--!" She laughed.

Wickedly, Rosie teased, "Don't worry, you aren't going to have it on that long!"

Kylen flushed from the roots of her hair down to her collar, and giggled like a kid. She realized she hadn't laughed like that since before the prison camp.

There was a knock at the hatch. Nita asked, "Who's there?"

Hawkes replied, "It's just us, are you done playing fashion model in there yet?"

There was a mad scramble to put the dress and the negligee back in the bags. When everything was out of sight, Nita admitted them.

Everyone admired West's black eye. Kylen asked, "What happened?"

He said innocently, "My eye? I got that fighting a big ape while defending your honor."

Kylen put her hands on her hips. "Yeah, right .... what did you do, walk into a door?"

He kissed her. "A hatch, honey. On shipboard, you call it a hatch, not a door."

"I don't know about you, sweetheart, but I speak English." She gave the injury a critical look and decided it wasn't life-threatening. "Have you seen the Colonel?"

Hawkes said, "He was at the Tun, but try that observation bay up in officer's territory. He goes there to read a lot."

Kylen asked Rosie, "Are you coming?"

"I'll meet you back at our cabin. I don't have any eye shadow that will match this dress, is there anywhere I can get some?"

Nita said, "The PX. You'll have to give me the money and let me buy it for you on my PX card."

The girls went in different directions. Shane looked at West when they were gone. "So what did happen?"

"Hey, I don't lie. It was just a little trouble at the Tun."

Hawkes said, "Colonel McQueen was right there when it happened. It wasn't Nathan's fault. That guy Pilcher started it--!"

Shane's lips compressed to a thin line. "I know who you mean. Get some ice on that, Nate, before it swells shut. Gee, that's gonna look just lovely with your dress blues tomorrow," she commented sarcastically.

West hadn't thought of that. "Color matches, anyhow."

Kylen entered the cool darkness of the observation bay, there was a light on over one of the benches and that was where she found McQueen. He put his book down when he saw her. "Kylen."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Cooper said you'd be here."

"You aren't interrupting."

She sat down on the end of the next bench. "Colonel, I always thought my father would give me away when I got married. He and I've been sending e-mail back and forth all day, and we -- Dad and I both would be honored if you'd stand in for him."

The request startled him, but he replied, "The honor would be mine, Kylen."

"Thank you, sir. You see, my mother and father gave me my life in the first place ... but in a very real way, you gave it back to me again down in that tunnel."

He shook his head. "All I did was point you in the right direction. You had to take the steps yourself. Don't ever sell yourself short for what you accomplished, Kylen."

Her smile lit her eyes. "I know. I know I can make it now. But I'd never have had the chance to be sure of that without you, and I love you for it. Nathan and I both do, even if he is too much of a guy to admit it."

McQueen's laughter went no further than his eyes. "I suppose we aren't real good at that."

Late that night in their quarters, Kylen carefully hung up her wedding outfit. Rosie said, "You mean you really never -- with anyone?"

"Not by choice. Just the AIs--"

Rosie's eyes went cold and hard. "That doesn't count. When I was on Demeter, the overseers were just as bad. It isn't the same thing, Kylen."

Kylen blinked hard. "Will Nathan know that?"

"Of course he will, nobody could be that dumb!" She declared bluntly.

"I'm kind of scared," she admitted.

"When you both want to, making love is the best thing in the whole world," her friend assured her. "Nathan would never hurt you."

"I know that! That isn't what I'm scared of. I'm afraid I won't be.... Well, I really don't know a lot!"

"So you learn," Rosie told her, grinning. "There really ain't that much to it!"

Kylen said, "Well, I know the basics, of course! I went to school. That isn't what I mean. Nathan's been a Marine for two years, and even after everything we've been through -- I'm still really just some stupid farm kid from the back end of nowhere."

Rosie laughed. "Just you wait, I'll bet they didn't teach you the good stuff in that school of yours. What, you think I knew any more than you do when I got off Demeter? But there was this guy I used to know in New York --!" She licked her lips and burst out laughing again. "Trust me, you'll have a hell of a lot of fun finding out what you don't already know." Kylen found herself laughing too.

She climbed up to the top bunk -- rack, the sailors called it -- and settled down for her last night as an unmarried girl. Tomorrow at this time she would be a new bride, a married woman. Rosie turned off the lights, and Kylen tried to still her excitement and sleep.

For centuries, the tradition had been that the captain of a ship was empowered to perform marriages. But that tradition hadn't become law until after the turn of the century, in the days before the development of the Eckerly drive, when the journey to the farthest outposts in the solar system could take two years, too long for couples to wait for official sanction. Glen Ross had performed a number of marriages among his crew.

Usually it was a couple of red-faced kids who had just got the news about the rabbit. Gone were the days when pregnancy had been a ticket home, and there was just as much pressure in the service as in civilian life for an expectant couple to marry.

Now and then, though, there were couples who wanted to be married aboard the Sara, because they wanted him to perform the marriage. That was the case with Nathan and Kylen, and it was one of the great joys of being captain of this ship. He checked the fit of his dress uniform and looked over the handbook containing the marriage ceremony to make certain he had the bookmark on the right page.

They'd asked to hold the ceremony in one of the observation bays, it was large enough to hold everyone ... and Ross couldn't imagine a more suitable place to conduct the marriage of a young Space Cavalry officer like Captain Nathan West, than surrounded by the stars he loved.

When he arrived at the observation bay, the people from hydroponics had worked their magic on it already. Chairs had been set up, and there were flowers at the end of every row, as well as around the podium and the little table with the wedding candle.

Some people from Comms were doing final sound checks, to make sure the families back in Maine would be able to hear clearly. He could see Kylen's dad on the screen, and a crowd of people in the room behind him. Hyperlight communication could lag seconds or days, but the gods of space travel were with them, and the lag now was only a few mikes. No one would notice that once the ceremony started. He heard the comms tech talking Kylen's dad through hooking up a VCR to the phone and making sure it was working right.

It had been one thing to decide not to marry, when he'd realized where his career was going. Glen Ross knew there were a hell of a lot of divorced Admirals. He had thought his many nieces and nephews would be enough. Knowing the pain that their divorce had brought Ty and Amy had left him gun-shy of a similar situation in his own life. But knowing now he would probably never escort his daughter up the aisle or watch his son take a bride, he wondered if that had been the right decision. Some marriages lasted. Some loves grew stronger because of the hardships and weathered all the storms. Ross was sure that the one they solemnized today was going to be one of those, the love between these two young people had already come safely through so much.

When McQueen came to pick up Kylen, Shane and Rosie were making last minute adjustments to her hair. Kylen and Rosie ducked into the head for a second to look for more bobby pins. Shane slicked back her own hair to make sure it would lie neatly under her cover. Their eyes met, and neither of them had to speak to know they were thinking the same thing. Every day was one day nearer their special day.

Rosie was Kylen's maid of honor. She was wearing a blue dress that belonged to Nita, Kylen had never seen her friend before in anything but jeans or a uniform. "You wait till the boys see you all dressed up! You look great!"

Rosie laughed. "If I ever do find Mr. Right, Kylen, you've got to promise me you'll be my matron of honor."

Kylen hugged her, careful not to mess up either of their clothes. "Of course I will, Rosie! It's always going to be you and me, we'll always be best friends."

Nathan opened the jewel box containing the ring. It was the only wedding ring they'd been able to find at the PX in Kylen's size, a plain gold band with a simple beaded edging on both sides. Inside someone had engraved "Forever". Well, it hadn't worked for the first guy, but it was going to now.

Cooper smoothed his gloves. "Now all I have to do with that is keep it until the Commodore asks for it, right?"

"Right. Don't lose it."

"I won't," he laughed. "I saw that in a movie. The best man couldn't find the ring!" Hawkes had a plan to deal with that, he'd put a piece of double-sided sticky tape inside his pocket and he was going to stick the ring to that, to make sure it stayed put until the ceremony.

"Yeah ... or someone actually stands up and says something when they ask if anyone knows why these people shouldn't get married," Nathan replied.

"If you ain't supposed to say anything, why do they ask it?"

"It's a tradition. To keep you from marrying your sister or something, way back before they had DNA tests."

"Hey, that can happen to us. IVs, I mean."

"Jesus, you don't think you and Christy--"

"No way, man, I already checked. We're only four percent similar and we don't share any bad recessives. She might start worrying if we really get serious, so I wanted to know for sure there wasn't gonna be a problem before anything like that happens."

"What percent do you have to be, before you're sibs? Fifty percent sounds right, but I don't know if I'm fifty percent similar to John. He's more like Mom and I'm more like Dad, that's all I really know."

"Legally it's forty, as far as being allowed to get married and stuff. But NBs who share one parent are legal sibs no matter what. Hey, Nate, they can't make your brother not be your brother because of that." Cooper took the ring and stuck it to the tape inside his pocket, that was going to work fine!

West and Hawkes waited as the first notes of the wedding march sounded. West tried not to let it show, but he'd gone into combat with less of a case of nerves than the one that had turned loose a whole flock of butterflies in his stomach right now.

Rosie came down the aisle first, she looked serene and elegant, nothing like the smart-alec hellraiser she usually was. A moment later, Nathan watched Kylen enter on McQueen's arm. She looked like a princess, with a crown of white flowers in her golden hair. He was used to seeing her in her colonial uniform, or school clothes ... where had this radiant lady come from so suddenly? He whispered, "God, she's so beautiful."

Cooper replied under his breath, "You're a lucky man, Nate. Congratulations."

When they reached the altar, McQueen stepped back to his place beside Judy Ellison and Mary O'Leary. Judy always looked completely different in her dress uniform, the exotically aristocratic Navy officer standing beside him was not the Crazy Judy he'd known for over a decade now. As far as that went, it was the first time he'd ever seen Mary O'Leary in anything but scrubs and a lab coat. Judy and Mary had come to the wedding to keep him company, neither of them really knew Nathan.

Nathan and Kylen's eyes never left each other as they spoke their vows, their hearts and souls poured into every word. Cooper had never really paid attention to the words of that promise before. But now he listened as his friend said, "I, Nathan, take thee, Kylen, to be my wedded wife, for richer, for poorer; for better, for worse; in sickness and in health; forsaking all others; to love, honor and cherish for as long as we both shall live." For the first time he realized how all-encompassing those vows were.

Ross asked for the ring, and Cooper got it out of his pocket -- and the tape came with it. Kylen noticed that and almost started to laugh. Cooper managed to catch the tape between two fingers and handed the ring over without any further confusion. The rest of the ceremony went along perfectly.

Nathan looked into the vidphone as they lit the wedding candle, their parents were standing together and he saw that they were holding lit candles as well. As he and Kylen touched their tapers to the wedding candle, he saw his father put his arm around his mother and they joined the flames of the candles they held, so that the two burned as one. Although millions of miles separated them physically, there was no distance between the hearts and souls of a family that welcomed a new daughter.

Nathan glanced at Kylen, her gaze was fixed just as intently on her father's face. He looked proud enough to bust every button on his shirt. Nathan made Matt Celina a promise with all his heart, to spend the rest of his life taking care of his daughter.

He escorted his new bride down the aisle to the triumphant strains of the recessional. The rest of the squadron formed the traditional arch of steel.

They stopped to talk to Kenny for a little while, he had been allowed to attend the ceremony in a wheelchair but he had to go directly back to sickbay after that. They cut the conversation short, for despite his enjoyment of the occasion, they could see that he was getting tired quickly. Lisa and Jimmy took him back, promising not to miss too much of the reception.

After that, while they posed for pictures, the chairs were cleared away and the food for the reception was brought in.

Between poses, Nathan looked down at Kylen and asked, "Doing okay?"

She giggled. "My shoes pinch a little, do you think anyone would notice if I sneaked them off?"

"I don't know, they might notice you lost a couple of inches. Where did you find heels?"

"They're Shane's."

"Now you mention, I remember. It's easy to forget most of the time how little she is."

"It isn't the height that counts," Kylen smiled.

Shane and McQueen were standing near the wedding candle watching the photography session when a camera popped nearby. Vanessa had got a shot of the two of them together. She widened the frame to get Ross, Ellison and O'Leary in the next one.

The buffet table was opened, and the guests started to wander over there as the photographer finished up. Cooper called to them, Kylen wanted a picture of the whole squadron together.

The lights dimmed for the traditional first dance. Nathan walked over to Kylen and took her hand in his, led her out in the middle of the floor. The music they had chosen might not have been particularly original ... it had probably been played at every military wedding for the last eighty years. But as soon as the first chords sounded, it was forever their song.

"Who knows what tomorrow brings; In a world, few hearts survive? All I know is the way I feel; When it's real, I keep it alive. The road is long, There are mountains in our way, But we climb a step every day.

Love lifts us up where we belong...."

Kylen laid her cheek against his chest. "Remember that high school dance back in ninth grade?"

He remembered telling Cooper about it, and chuckled. "I remember."

"I was so tall and skinny."

"And I stepped on your feet. We made it anyhow, honey."

Her eyes filled with tears of joy, the last of her fears and doubts disappeared in the love she saw shining in his gray eyes. "Oh, no, this isn't any finish line. We're just starting."

"Love lifts us up where we belong, Where the eagles cry on a mountain high, Love lifts us up where we belong, Far from the world we know; up where the clear winds blow."

Other couples began to move out onto the floor. Vansen's eyes met McQueen's. She set her champagne glass on the table beside her. The formality of this dance brought back the memories of other times, in the shadows of some stolen place. She wondered at how the carefully choreographed decorum of joined gloved hands could evoke so well the passion of those dances, cheek to cheek and heart to heart. But she found that she did not want to waste a moment of the happiness that was theirs to take right here and now. It was hers to decide whether the glass was half full or half empty, and with most of her blessings right before her eyes here in this room to make the counting easy for her, that was an easy decision to make.

"Time goes by, no time to cry, Life's you and I, alive, today. Love lifts us up where we belong..."

Christy was chatting with Vanessa when Cooper joined them. Vanessa saw the conversation that passed between them, the little downcast glance that asked permission, the answering smile that granted it .... she had always thought of them as a couple of kids, but now she saw two strong young people standing firmly on their own two feet, facing a future limited only by their own dreams. Cooper leaned down to whisper something to Christy that made her laugh as they stepped out onto the floor.

Mark came up. "May I have this dance?"

It occurred to her that if she accepted she would be affirming to everyone who saw that she was Mark Miller's girl. She looked in his eyes for a long moment, then let him sweep her out onto the floor. She could definitely get used to old movies and music and so much more with this man.

"Some hang on to "used-to-be", Live their lives looking behind. All we have is here and now; All our life, out there to find."

Glen Ross watched the dance, it wasn't every day you saw a princess marry her knight in shining armor. He hoped with all his heart for their happily ever after ... and he wondered at the courage of youth, that faced an uncertain future with a fearless gaze. They knew full well that this war wasn't over yet ... but they looked ahead with faith and undimmed hope to the day when it would be.

A rich, warm voice at his shoulder drew his attention. "Sir, may I have the honor?"

There was a smile in Mary O'Leary's emerald eyes, and he returned it. "I assure you, Doctor O'Leary, that the honor and the pleasure are all mine," he replied just as formally, and they joined in the dance.

After a time, the last notes of the music faded, and the room filled with a pleasant murmur as several quiet conversations began at once. The reception went on for another couple of hours, before Nathan and Kylen made their escape, just ahead of the rest of the 'Cards.

Nathan shut the hatch on the private cabin that was all theirs for the next sixteen hours. Their friends yelled and pounded on the hatch for five or ten mikes. After that, it opened briefly, just a crack and a slender hand poked out to slap a yellow sticky note on the outside ... then it slammed shut again and the lock shot home, to a duet of laughter from inside. The note, of course, said "Do Not Disturb." Shane wiped tears of laughter from her eyes and shepherded her little flock back towards the reception, where there was still music playing.

The End


"For Steve, my own knight in shining armor. Your love turned this frog into a princess, and I cannot imagine a better happily-ever-after than the thirteen years we have shared.... --RMR"


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Next : Encounters Miles To Go ... Book 10

© Becky Ratliff 1/97